An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor
by Milah Luciana Merverosa
Summary: Gone 16 years from the men that loved her and the world she knew, Milah gets an owl that changes her life. Who will she chose? The man that knows what she is, or the man she was to share a life with before her own fell apart? This is NOT Slash!!!
1. Midnight Package

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Hey guys, what's up? This is my first piece published. I love criticism! Please, let me know what you think. I will take the good and the bad with a smile. It is only through constructive criticism that writers truly prosper. Please read and review! *Sits back* I hope you enjoy, and I'll post as often as I can. Mille grazie! (Thanks a lot!) Oh, and I own only Milah, and the plot. Everything else belongs to Rowling the Great.  
Kind regards,  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
* ** *

**Chapter 1**

    It was near midnight when I heard a tapping on my window.  I turned away from the desk I was reading at, and saw that a large tawny owl was sitting impatiently on my sill.  It had been more than sixteen years since I had anything delivered by owl post.  More than sixteen years since I left the  wizarding world.  What could they possibly want from me now?

     Not quite sure what to do, I let him in, and he delivered a parcel that seemed a bit too large for him.  Without so much as a treat he took off, being the only brown speck in an incredibly inky sky.  While watching him float away, I tried to think of any reasons that I'd be called back.  I could only think of one...

   I at once sat down to peruse this mysterious letter.  Who knew where I lived?  I had lived in the Elvish Moorlands secretly for ten years.  I flipped the large envelope over, and my suspicions were confirmed.  It was an envelope from Albus Dumbledore himself.  I broke the wax seal carefully, with the inherent fear of what I may discover.  

_Dear Milah,_

_     I am fully aware that I have not contacted you before, and I know that you must feel uncomfortable.  I wanted to inform you of a position that has opened up at Hogwarts.  Dear Filius Flitwick has decided to retire, and he specifically requested you to replace him.  _

_     I have enclosed a robe for you to wear, a train ticket, and instructions for your arrival.  I am excited to have such a fine new Charms professor on my staff, and am looking forward to your arrival.  I'll see you at school._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_Order of Merlin, First Class_

_Grand Sorcerer_

_Chief Warlock_

_Supreme Mugwump_

_International Confederation of Wizards_

_Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

     "Charms Professor? What _are_ you talking about?"  I said aloud.  He hadn't asked; he simply made a statement.  I am the new Charms professor…  "Professor Merverosa..."  Well, it definitely has a ring to it.  

      I gently placed the letter down and picked up the brown package.  It looked quite ordinary, and I wouldn't have been suspicious had I seen it sitting on my doorstep.  Unwrapping it, I saw it was a set of plain black robes.  "Now how did he know that I only wore black?"  The situation was a bit uncanny, but the thought of returning to Hogwarts was a happy one.  My mind was reeling as I placed my head down on my pillow.  I slept for the first time in years.

* ** *

A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!  
  
Keep reviewing! I love it when people comment... Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! *winks*  
  
~Milah


	2. Of Memories and Food

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Hey guys, what's up? This is my first piece published. I love criticism! Please, let me know what you think. I will take the good and the bad with a smile. It is only through constructive criticism that writers truly prosper. Please read and review! *Sits back* I hope you enjoy, and I'll post as often as I can. Mille grazie! (Thanks a lot!) Oh, and I own only Milah, and the plot. Everything else belongs to Rowling the Great.  
Kind regards,  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
* ** *

**Chapter 2 **

     The next morning I  awoke with the bright sunlight warming my face, and I became vaguely aware of birds chirping outside my window.  It was a beautiful morning, even though I had an unpleasant task to perform.  I needed to  inform the shopkeeper for whom I had been working since my arrival ten years ago, about my departure.  He was not going to be happy...  

     "Mr. Ashwin, I have some news for you." I said as I hung my cloak up on the rack sitting near the door.

     "Good Morning, Milah, and how are you?"  He smiled from his corner where he was repairing a delicate white gold ring.

     "I'm doing well."  

     "Your ring is almost finished; I'll have it to you in a few minutes.  I must admit that I've never seen gold do this before.  If it's enchanted, which I suspect that it is, you should check on the person who gave it to you..."

     "That's actually what I came to talk to you about, sir..."   

     His face darkened slightly, only slightly, and he brushed the grayish-blonde curls out of his wrinkled face.  "Oh?"

     "I've been called back."

     His eyes opened wide with fear.  "What could be so wrong that they would call you back?"  He looked at the diamond solitaire ring again, with more worry than I'd ever seen him display.  

     "I don't know..."  I said shaking my head.  "But I won't know until I return."

     "The shop won't be the same without you, you know."  He stood and put his arms around me.  "The realm of the Elves will miss you dearly, but please make sure to return when you feel that the time is right.  I'll need my jeweller, I'm sure."  Tears brimmed in his eyes, "I've always looked on you as my child, and as much as I wish you to be safe, I know that you must go.  Be safe, Milah."  He handed me my repaired ring, "And make sure he's alright.  Don't forget about _him_."

     "I won't.  Goodbye Mr. Ashwin.  I'll be seeing you..." 

     I was set to leave, and yet a part of me still told me to stay.  I had, after all, started a life here.  I lived by myself in a small (but not too small) flat, and had two pet rabbits, and two pet cats.  Professor Dumbledore didn't just pick me out of the sky because of a request.  I knew that there were things that he wasn't telling me.  Well, I have a week to get ready.  I'm starting over.  A brand new life in the world that I once loved.

_*****(Later that evening)*****_

     Pulling out my old wand caused me to feel more than a little nostalgic.  It seems like only yesterday that I was in Olivander's shop purchasing it.  Mahogany, twelve and one half inches, great for transfiguration and defense against the dark arts.  For many years, it had been an extension of my hand.  It had helped me a great deal when I was on a mission with fellow Aurors.  But it had also helped when I worked for another…  Tears flowed down my cheeks as I looked at it.  

     It was still possible to see the scorch marks from when I had been hit by an elemental curse that set my entire left side on fire.  They were slightly visible, as were the scars entwining my left arm.  Most people didn't notice them, and they no longer bothered me.  I thought that they added to my character.  I wasn't amused when I got them though, because it was right before my wedding.  The elemental curse also brought with it other, more debilitating, consequences... What was I thinking about?  Dredging up past wounds would get me nowhere.  In gathering the last little bit of my belongings, I walked outside where the Knight Bus was waiting.  

*****(Time change)*****

     I traveled to Diagon Alley two days before I needed to, so I could pick up all of my basic necessities.  After all, I wasn't going to survive the entire year with just one robe!  G-d, I haven't touched my Gringotts account in years.  I don't even remember the balance.  I know it is substantial because I was a highly paid Auror, among other things...  It doesn't matter, I'm just buying what I need.

     Madame Malkins' Robes for all occasions was my second stop.  I spent hours picking out different styles of black robes.  I also picked out two rather pricey, and warm, black cloaks.  A young, well-meaning store clerk, who was helping me, asked why I only wore black.  "Because I have a dark past, and I would prefer to go unnoticed.  I have nothing, and no one to celebrate."  I bitterly replied.

     "But you're such a beautiful lady!  You should at least pick out _one_ colour."  

     I glared at her, and was a bit perturbed.  Who is she to tell me how to dress?  I decided on a dark green outfit with silver trim around the neck and sleeves.  It was very dressy, and stylish.  I haven't worn colours since my engagement, and I felt a bit odd.  I bought them none-the-less.

     After that odyssey, I purchased an owl, some quills, scrolls of parchment, and anything else that I could possibly need.  I was so bogged down with packages, I didn't think that I could make it to my room!  

     I was ambling along quite well when all of a sudden, something solid hit me with such a force that it knocked me over.  "Oh, my G-d, I'm so sorry.  I didn't even see you!  Miss?  Are you okay?  Miss?"  Genuine concern flashed in her deep brown eyes.  She began to stack up the packages when her friend, the one she was running after, came to help.

     "I'm fine, thank you."  I gave her a reassuring smile.  "You should be careful, though.  I'm fine; no need to make a fuss."  

     "Please, let us help you get your packages to your room."  She pleaded with more than a hint of concern.  

     "No dear, that's not necessary.  I should be going though."  I held the remainder of my items, and crossed the street into the Leaky Cauldron.

     "Come to cool your heels, Professor?"  Asked the barkeep.

     "I'll be down in a bit, but first I have to get these packages in my room"

     "I'll have a hot meal and a butterbeer waiting for you!"

     "Thanks Tom." I said as I trudged up the creaking stairs to my dark room.  

     I returned downstairs again to eat, and sat by the bartender.  "What are your plans tomorrow, Professor Merverosa?"  

     "Hmm…  Tomorrow I have to pack and rest because I catch the train the next morning."

     "You're going by the Hogwarts Express?  I thought that was only for students."

     "Possibly so, but the circumstances were _unexpected_.  It was the easiest way to get me there."

     "Sounds like fun.  Enjoy it.  Hey, that is an interesting accent you have there Professor.  Tell me, where are you from?"  Just then a round of drinks was ordered, causing him to become quite busy.  I was left alone to enjoy my dinner.

*~*~*~*~*~ (F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

      I pushed my food around my plate.  I did not usually play with my dinner; I only did it when I was upset, and boy was I mad.  The Headmaster had just informed me that I would be transferred to a new school.  "Durmstrang will miss you, my dear, but we feel that you are better suited to attend Hogwarts."

     "But Headmaster, my English is not very good."  I cried out, hoping for him to take notice.

     "Surely it must be better than your German."  He glided away without another word.

     "It was like he was giving a weather report."  I told a fellow housemate.  "I couldn't believe what he said to me.  I come from Italy, and had to learn enough German to get by.  Now they want to send me to England?  I don't know what to do!"  I dropped my fork, knowing that I would not eat dinner tonight, rose from my seat, and stalked to the library.

*****(Present day)*****

     "I hope that you're enjoying your meal."  The barkeep said, frightening me out of my thoughts.

     "Yes, everything is delicious, Tom."  I said absentmindedly with a wave of my hand.

     "Are you sure?  You haven't really eaten."

     "I guess that I'm not very hungry."  I stood to leave.  "Have a pleasant evening."

     "You too, Professor.  I'll have you up for eight tomorrow, as planned."

     "Until eight o'clock then."  I smiled, and left without another word.

     King's Cross Station is an interesting place.  It seemed unseasonably busy with people running this way, and that way.  Some looking quite cross.  I arrived several hours ahead of time, as I was instructed.  I was scheduled to meet up with an old friend, who was to fill me in with all the details of my new job.

     "Where is he?"  I asked myself as I watched students begin to file onto Platform 9 ¾.

* ** *

A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!  
Keep reviewing! I love it when people comment... Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! *winks*  
~Milah


	3. Knitting through time

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Hey Hey!!! I'm getting better with this paragraph spacing, but if things still look a bit off-colour, I apologize! Please Read and Review! Oh, and the only thing that I own is Milah, and the plot. Everything else goes to Rowling the Magnificent! Kudos to you, Ma'am!

~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
* ** *

**Chapter three**

     Hours went by as I quietly sat on my luggage, waiting for my guide to show.  In fear of missing the train, I boarded and found an empty compartment.  I sat quietly, opening a bag of knitting that I had been working on.  Students were rushing excitedly past, chatting about the new year.  One particular conversation made me smile.

      "Did you hear that old Flitwick retired?"

     "No way!  Who did they get to replace him?"

     "Nobody seems to know, but I bet that it's another old and wrinkly midget…"

     Now, by my standards, I'm not old and wrinkly, and I'm most certainly not a midget!  Just then, a young girl burst into my compartment.  She looked familiar…  It was the girl that knocked me over!  Fancy that…

     "Oh, I'm sorry!  I didn't know that this one was taken.  Hang on!  I remember you--  but why?"

     As fun as it would have been to watch her squirm, I raised my hand to stop her from speaking.  "It's quite alright.  I'm sure you've heard gossip about me already.  I'm aware of how quickly news passes through Hogwarts, especially _interesting_ news."  I placed my knitting aside to talk to her more formally.  "My name is Milah Luciana Merverosa, and I am your new Charms Professor.  What's your name?"

     The look of sheer horror was upon her face.  "Uh-uh... uh…" She stammered, "My name is Hermione.  Hermione Granger.  You aren't upset, are you?"

     I laughed heartily, much to her relief.  "No dear, I'm not upset in the least.  It's rather nice to have someone in here.  I was supposed to meet someone on the Express to fill me in with my new duties, but they didn't show."

     "Well, usually the train is only for students.  Not that I'm unhappy you're here, or anything."  Hermione turned white as a sheet.  I could tell that she was mortified that I would fail her!

     "I've been told this, and I wouldn't be here if things hadn't been so _sudden_."  I resumed knitting.

     "What are you making, Professor?"  Young Hermione looked at me with quizzical eyes.  "I've only seen knitting a few times in my life, and you're the first person that I've seen do it by hand."

     "Someday this will be an afghan.  It's a large blanket of sorts."   I picked it up proudly  displaying the gray and green artwork.

     "Why'd you choose those colours?"  She gazed nearly horrified at the afghan.  "It is beautiful though...."  _'nice save Hermione...'_ she thought to herself.  "Can I touch it?"

     "Certainly!  Touch away."

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

     Upon her arrival at her new school, she was greeted by Headmaster Dumbledore.  "Hello Milah.  It's nice to meet you.  Are you ready to be sorted into your house?  We will sort you at the same time as the first years, only you will receive a special introduction because of your peculiar situation."  He spoke perfect Italian.

     "I'm as ready as I'll ever be.  Professor, my English is not too good.  Could someone help me make it better?"

     He looked at me sadly.  "Ah, I knew language would be a barrier, and I was prepared for this.  While no one but me can speak Italian, I have asked that teachers recruit a student to help you.  It will be confidential, of course, and no one is going to think that you're dumb."  His eyes twinkled as he smiled.  "You worry too much for such a young woman.  Keep that up, and you'll look old, like me!  I've got you all taken care of.  Let's get you into a house."  He led me down the long corridors to my fate.

*****_(Present day)_*****

     "Professor?"  

     I had lost myself in memories, again!  "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

     "What made you choose those colours?"

    "I suppose that I simply wanted to display a bit of house loyalty."  I smiled as realization hit her.

    "You mean--  You were a Slytherin!"  

*** * 

A/N: I know, it's short. Sorry! I do hope that someone stumbles upon this to read it. What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!  
  
Keep reviewing! I love it when people comment... Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!  
  
*winks*  
  
Later babes!  
  
~Milah


	4. Hagrid the Helpful

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Hey Hey!!! I'm getting better with this paragraph spacing, but if things still look a bit off-colour, I apologize! Please Read and Review! Oh, and the only thing that I own is Milah, and the plot. Everything else goes to Rowling the Magnificent! Kudos to you, Ma'am!

~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
* ** *

**Chapter four**

     "Is that so difficult to believe?" I was surprised to hear the venom in her tone.

     "Well, you aren't greasy or mean."

     "Thank you."  I smiled.  "I hope that I'm not keeping you away from your friends."

     "Oh, them?  I forgot all about them.  Maybe I should show my face…  It was good talking to you, Professor."

     "And it was nice to speak to a friendly face, Miss Granger.  I'll see you in class."  The compartment door swiftly closed.  "Well, my secret is out."  I said, to no one in particular, wearing a ridiculous grin, "Not only am I _not_ a wrinkly old midget, but I'm a Slytherin too!  People will be gawking at me the entire train ride!"  

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

     I stood quite still, completely aware of the stares that I was receiving from other students.  How funny I must have looked standing on that dais.  People could clearly see that I wasn't eleven.  Finally, it was my turn to be sorted.  

     "Now we have a special treat." Dumbledore said proudly.  "Everyone, this is Milah Luciana Merverosa, and she is a student from Durmstrang.  I expect that you will all make her transition easier.  Come Milah."  

     Dumbledore sat down, and an older woman gestured me toward a three-legged stool.  I sat in it with quite a bit of difficulty, being taller than it's normal occupants.  She placed a hat over my eyes, and blackness engulfed me.

     "Hmmmm……  Interesting person, this is.  Brilliant child...  Durmstrang is an excellent institution, and has taught you well."  It's low voice whispered into my ear.  A long pause ensued, and I could feel the hat probing through my innermost memories and thoughts.  "So smart…  Maybe Ravenclaw...  No, I don't think that you would fit there.  A bit too smart, and not patient enough for Hufflepuff…"  He seemed to be weighing out my qualities…  "You've had a very difficult life, child, and it has left you bitter and angry.  You've had very few friends, I see, but you've gotten along quite well without them."  It was taking forever!  Who was he to judge my number of friends?  I simply wished that he would make a decision.  I had the sudden urge to throw the hat to the floor and jump on it repeatedly.  "Don't jump on me, dear.  It would be rather unpleasant."

     "You heard that!"  I was so confused.

     "I see much bravery in you, but alas, you would be most uncomfortable in Gryffindor.  Ravenclaw…  No.  Based on your personality, you belong in……  **_Slytherin_**! 

     The students at the far left table began to clap, and I received many hard claps on the back as I walked to the table.  I sat next to a raven-haired boy about my age, and ate in silence…

*****_(present day)_*****

     I seemed to knit silently for ages when finally, the train began to slow.  I looked out the window, into the darkness, where a large man was visible holding a lantern. He was waving to the students peering through the windows.  

     I packed up my afghan, and proceeded out the door of my compartment; leaving all of my baggage, as instructed.  Wading through the whispering students proved to be quite a task.  I wanted to get to that large man before he disappeared because I had to find someone who knew what I was supposed to be doing.

     I stepped off the Hogwarts Express and immediately wandered to his side.  "Excuse me.  I'm the new-"

     "Professor Merverosa!  I thought that I'd be seeing you here!  You may not remember me, but I'm Rubeus-"

     Stark recognition flashed through my head.  "Hagrid!  Of course, I can't believe I had forgotten.  Good to see you…"  I shook his hand.  "Do you know what, exactly, that I'm supposed to be doing?"  
     "This way, first years!  Don't be shy!  First years!"  He was shouting  gathering the scary-eyed students.  "You, Professor, are going to follow the more senior students to the carriages.  Your informant is waiting for you.  He was unavoidably detained, and sends his apologies."  
     I placed a hand on his shoulder.  "Thank you, Hagrid.  It was good to see you again.  I'll see you soon."  I waved, and picked a tall blonde headed boy to follow.

     Alas, my first year as a Hogwarts Professor begins…

*** * 

A/N: I know, it's short. Sorry! I do hope that someone stumbles upon this to read it. What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!  
Keep reviewing! I love it when people comment... Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!  
*winks*  
Later babes!  
~Milah


	5. Welcome Surprises

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Hey Hey!!! I'm getting better with this paragraph spacing, but if things still look a bit off-colour, I apologize! Please Read and Review! Oh, and the only thing that I own is Milah, and the plot. Everything else goes to Rowling the Magnificent! Kudos to you, Ma'am!

~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
* ** *

**Chapter five**

     I followed this boy through a winding street filled with students until I saw the beautful carriages in the distance.  They always amazed me because they had no horses…  

     "Milah!"  A deep voice called out to me.  "Milah, over here!"  There he was, one of my two best friends all throughout school.  He was waving, and it was surprising to see the other students stare.  I laughed as I watched him scowl and sneer at the onlookers.  Apparently it was very un-Snapeish to wave and yell someone's name.    "I'm very sorry that I didn't meet you on the train, I meant to. G-d, let me look at you.  You haven't changed a bit since we last worked together…"  He grasped my wrists and pushed me at arm's length to get a better look, and then, much to the surprise of both myself and my new students, he hugged me!  

      "Oh, it's great to see you too, Sevi!"  My voice was muffled through his shoulder.  His face softened upon hearing his old pet name.

     The students who had not boarded a carriage were now gaping, open-mouthed.  They looked like trout with their mouths open like that!  We boarded our own carriage, and were whisked away to Hogwarts.  Little did I know, my entire world was about to change.  Much of it was going to collapse around my feet.  Who would have thought that my two best friends would be my undoing…

*****_(scene change)_*****

     I entered the Great Hall, and found that most everyone was there already.  The students were sitting, and casually chatting—that is, until I walked in.  The silence startled the staff, and caused them to look up.  I scanned the table and smiled brightly at the remembered faces.  Albus Dumbledore, Madame Pince, Madame Pomfrey, Professor McGonagal… Remus Lupin…  

     He was glaring at me with disbelief.  Remus stood out of his chair, crossed the room, broke into a run, and cried, "Milah!"  He stopped, just inches short of knocking me over.  "What are you doing here?  You're alive?!  But how?!?  They all said that you were a prisoner of war!  Oh..."  Remus Lupin, my second best friend, was back at the school.  Some recent breakthrough allowed him his job back despite his lycanthropic problem.  He threw his arms around me and held me tightly.

     "No one told you, Moony?  Professor Dumbledore sent for me to be the new Charms Professor!"  I pried myself from his grasp, and allowed him to guide me to my new seat, which much to his dismay, was next to Severus.

     "I was teaching before, but once my secret was out, the parents canned me."  He explained.  I was surprised to hear such informal language from the man who taught me how to speak English.  Remus smiled at me warmly.  "I haven't seen you in years, Milah.  G-d, you're still just as beautiful as the day I-"

     "Remus, please.  I'm not ready…"  I held up my hand  "I _can't_ do this again...  You know that."  My face fell as I thought about the times we spent together.

     "I'm sorry.  Perhaps it is too soon.  I guess we can chat later, over tea maybe?"  He awaited a response.

     "Yes, tea would be nice."

*** * 

A/N: I know, it's short. Sorry! I do hope that someone stumbles upon this to read it. What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!

Keep reviewing! I love it when people comment... Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

*winks*

Later babes!  
~Milah


	6. Severus the Strange

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Please Read and **_Review_**! I'm not irritating myself so badly with the paragraph spacing-- a good thing, I suppose.

Something should be said about people who leave me off the wall reviews.  Balleke, a sausage maker from some off the wall country demands "Sue slash".  Then he leaves me vulgar comments...  Nope, sorry to disappoint you, but there will be _no_ slash in **_my_** story.  Now get off of your sausage ass and write your own story.  Stop leaving vulgar messages on mine...

I have a mortal fear of lawyers. In the words of Twisted Sister, "We're not going to take it", and I won't. I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be here... *grimace*  
Kind regards,  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  


**Chapter six**

     A good portion of that night was spent reacquainting myself with the castle.  Everything was exactly as I remembered it.  I even wandered down into the dungeons, where I used to live, but  I couldn't enter the Common Room because I didn't know the password.

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~

     "What's your name?"  I asked the raven-haired fourth year.

     "Severus."  He resumed reading his rather large text on the importance of potions.

     "My name is-"

     "I know well who you are.  If you don't mind, I'm reading.  Go away."  I turned around to run to the library, until the realization hit me-- I didn't know where the library was!  Life sucked...

*****_(Present day)_*****

     Something grabbed me from behind and put a hand over my mouth to prevent me from screaming.  "What are _you_ doing in _my_ dungeons?"  It hissed. 

     I was in protective mode.  Expertly twisting myself out of its grip, I grabbed its shoulders, and smashed it against a wall.  I was rewarded with the sound of skull hitting stone wall.  The corridor was dark and I couldn't make out a face.  I whipped out my wand and pressed it firmly into its neck.  I meant business.  "I'll do what I please, and you would do well not to touch me.  Stop being a coward and show yourself."

     "Jesus Milah, you didn't have to try to kill me!"  Severus gasped.

     "That was _you?_ Lumos!"  My wand lit up the dark halls.  I was so angry that I began to shake.  "You sick, sick man... What the hell is your problem!  Christ almighty, you  nearly gave me a heart attack!"  I let go and punched him in his shoulder.

     "A potty mouth for such an agreeable face.  You're still very strong.  Are you training?"  He rubbed the sore spot on his left shoulder.

     "No, but I never stopped practicing.  I can still fight like a soldier."  I grinned sheepishly.

     "Well, you were highly trained on multiple levels, so I would expect as much.  Did you want to go inside?"  He cocked his head to the right, indicating the entrance to the Common Room.

     "Could I?"  

     I saw a boyish grin appear on his wrinkled face.  It was one that I remembered from our childhood; usually one indicating that pure malice was on his mind. "With me at your side, you can do anything..."

     "Oh, I'm sure...  You're so full of yourself, Severus..."  I rolled my eyes.

     "Slytherpride."  A large stone snake statue slid out of the way revealing a highly detailed portrait of an older wizard.  "Tol acharn." Severus whispered.  The painting opened to reveal a carpeted hallway illuminated by sparse torches.

     "People here speak Elvish?"  

     "No, but Sindarin is something that the other houses would never think of.  Just added security.  The meaning isn't half bad either..."  He looked thoughtful for a moment.

     "I suppose the phrase 'vengeance comes' would comfort any lonely Slytherin."  

     "It kept me going, Milah.  That very thought kept me going every day."  I swiftly fought to find some way to  change the subject.  I didn't want him to delve into depression...

     "For some reason the dark always comforted me."  I looked around taking note of all the portraits.  Some waved as they recognized me, and some hid.  "Good evening Morticia, how goes it?  Still being a wicked painting?"

     The terse young figure looked up from her book, "Milah!  How good to see you!  I've stirred up all kinds of trouble since your graduation.  I hear that you're teaching now.  That's wonderful!  We'll catch up later because I am overdue for scaring the wits out of the Prefects!  They have such a nice bathroom.  And that lovely frame..."  She disappeared from her frame, but I could hear her footsteps echo.  I could almost imagine her sitting perfectly still in the frame until an unsuspecting Prefect relaxed in the tub.  Then she would come out and scream bloody murder.  

     "I do hope that she's careful Severus, because she nearly drowned a Hufflepuff Prefect when I was in school."  His only reply was a well-placed smirk.

*** * 

A/N:  I do hope that someone stumbles upon this to read it. What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!

Keep reviewing! I love it when people comment... Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

*winks*

Later babes!  
~Milah


	7. Someone Fetch Snape!

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Please Read and **_Review_**! I'm not irritating myself so badly with the paragraph spacing-- a good thing, I suppose.

I have a mortal fear of lawyers. In the words of Twisted Sister, "We're not going to take it", and I won't. I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be here... *grimace*  
Kind regards,  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  


**Chapter seven**

     My first weekend at Hogwarts, for the most part, was spent alone, trying to unpack.  Sometimes Remus or Severus would stop in to talk.  I discovered that Remus spent a large portion of his adult life alone and unemployed.  I was sorry for him because he did so much to help me...  "If you had contacted me Remus, maybe I could have helped you." I said absentmindedly as I unwrapped my new quills.

     "Did you forget your mysterious disappearance, Milah?  Many thought that you were killed in the line of duty, a prisoner of war...  I worried for years, never giving up hope of finding you alive, but Albus kept your secret from the world.  He was the only one you told, Milah.  It hurts that you didn't tell _me_, of all people."  He looked so weak.  After all, he full moon was only two nights away.

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~

     I ran to Dumbledore's office as quickly as I could.  My eyes were swollen from tears, my clothes torn and bloody from battle, and one of my wands had broken from trying to beat someone off me.  The first war against Voldemort was in full stride.  Death was everywhere, and I couldn't deal with things anymore.  How I entered Hogwarts I'll never know.  Death Eaters are charmed from ever entering its highly protected doors. 

     I ran down several corridors and up innumerable flights of stairs.  I was in terrific shape; a true soldier.  I saw the Phoenix statue that blocked his entrance and ran towards it.  "Agent Merverosa, I was expecting you."  His voice made me jump out of my skin!  

     Wand drawn, I turned. "Albus, I have to leave.  I can't stay anymore.  I don't care who's side that I'm on."

     "I can not stop you."  His eyes grew distant.  "I've watched you grow, mature, become an Auror, and a Death Eater as well.  I wonder why it is that you're here before me now, Milah.  Are you looking to me for validation?"   

     "I never meant for this to happen, Professor.  Any of it..."  I sank to the floor and sobbed.  "I never meant for _them_ to die...  I liked them.  Remus loved them...  I must leave.  There's _no other way_..."  I crawled up the wall to a standing position and turned my back to leave, but Albus grabbed me.

     "What about Remus?  Don't you think he deserves to hear from you first?"  He glared at me harshly.  "If you don't know by now how he feels about you, then you don't deserve him.  Look at the ring on your hand Milah..."  He picked up my freshly scarred left hand to show me my engagement ring.  "He loves you _so_ much.  It may kill any human left in him if you leave.  You're scheduled to be married in less than a month, Milah.  Why not wait awhile to clear your head?"

     "Why are you keeping me here Albus?  You stupid old coot, don't you realize that I'm the _enemy_?  I'm a goddamned Death Eater for Christ's sake!"

     "As is Severus Snape.  I'm not worried about you.  If you really are the enemy, why are you here?"

     "I wanted you to know.  I wanted _someone_ to know that I was alive, and I can be counted on to come back, if, and only if, I was needed.  I only joined _Him_ because of Severus.  I was never on his side..."  My sobbing continued as I resumed walking away.

     "Remember Remus, Milah.  He loves you, needs you, and _will_ protect you.  You cannot hide from Voldemort...  He will find you, even if he has to use your family to get to you..."  

     I stopped short in my tracks, dropping the shattered wand.  "Professor, I have no family, and maybe I _can't_ hide forever, but I shall try.  I can't let Remus get hurt because of my stupidity.  I can't bring him into this.  Goodbye Albus."

     "Good luck Milah, and G-d speed.  I'll be seeing you again."  I ran away from everything and everyone.  Nobody was going to find me.

*****_(present day)_*****

     The world had gone dark.  I could hear a voice, but who was it?  "Wake up; you fainted.  Please wake up, Milah."  Remus.  It was Remus, and he was shaking me.  I couldn't move.  I could hear Remus' footsteps as he ran outside.  Minutes later, I heard Albus and a few others enter the room.  

   "What _is_ this Madame Pomfrey?"  Remus was panicking.  "What's wrong with her?  She just fell to the ground and started convulsing.  Now she has a fever...  What is this?"

     "The best thing for everyone, Professor Lupin, is for you not. to. panic." She prodded him with her wand at each of the last three words.  "Everyone give me some space to _work."  _She motioned for everyone to move back.  "Albus, have you ever seen this happen?"

     "Yes Poppy, I have.  I've seen this before.  This isn't a fever...  Someone fetch Severus!"

*** * 

A/N:  I do hope that someone stumbles upon this to read it. What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!

Keep reviewing! I love it when people comment... Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

*winks*

Later babes!  
~Milah


	8. The Gurth Curse

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Please Read and **_Review_**! I'm not irritating myself so badly with the paragraph spacing-- a good thing, I suppose.

I have a mortal fear of lawyers. In the words of Twisted Sister, "We're not going to take it", and I won't. I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be here... *grimace*  
Kind regards,  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  


**Chapter eight**

     *~*~*~*~*~(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~

     "You did what? Severus, are you mad?" I was waving my arms animatedly in the air. "We haven't even graduated from Hogwarts, and you do _this_? Where was your brain?!? I can't believe it. Lift up your sleeve; I have to see this for myself."  
     He showed me a pale, bare, muscular arm with the dark mark freshly emblazoned on it. "Now do you believe me?"

     "Severus, why? Perche? Eh? Give me a good reason. You are so smart... Why did you do something so dumb? If Dumbledore finds out, he's gonna shit!"  
     He eyed me with his 'I'm stupid?' face, "I can always tell when you're upset because your English slips. It's a helpful tool, really..."

     "Don' e'en play with me, fool!" I threw my Arithmancy book at him, hitting him square in the stomach. I was furious...  
     

"That _hurt_." He looked hurt too.  
  


     "You thought that I, Milah Luciana Merverosa, would be proud that you joined that organization? It was because of Lucius, wasn't it? Lucius did this and you had to as well, right! Let me tell you that misery loves company... What were you thinking, huh? Dios Mio, Sevi! _(My G-d, Severus!)_  Am I supposed to simply overlook this? Ai!! Why did you tell me?" I grabbed at my head. I was so furious that the room was spinning.  
  


     Suddenly he looked like the boy that he was; a scared and alone seventeen year old soldier who has just found himself on the wrong side of the battlefield. "I told you because-" His voice cracked. "because... I love you, and I wanted you to know. I didn't want to lie to you Milah, because you're so important to me. I'd never lie to you, and I'd never put you in danger without your knowledge."  
  


*****(_present day)_*****  
  


     "Albus, what's happened?" Severus bounded into the room. I was completely aware of my surroundings, but I was trapped, a prisoner inside my own body. Unable to move or make any form of contact with the outside world. I felt him touch my forehead and put his ear to my chest. "It's the Gurth Curse. I've seen it before... Albus, He's playing with her. He knows that she's here."  
  


     "This may be true, and yet, it may not be. Let's move her." Remus, Severus, and Albus proceeded to move my lifeless body from in front of my bureau to my bed.  
  


      "Who? What are you talking about Snape?" He said Severus' name with a little more malice than was intended. "What is he talking about?" Remus was looking about desperately for answers.  
  


     "Remus, we have reason to believe that Milah is being used by Voldemort. Please, let us work with her. Excuse us everyone. Severus and I must confer-- In private." The room emptied, the door closing with a soft click, and the real show began.

*** * 

A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!  
Keep reviewing! I love it when people comment... Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

*winks*

Later babes!  
~Milah


	9. Left out Lupin

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Please Read and **_Review_**! A/N: I've so got this paragraph spacing licked! *cha ching!*  
I have a mortal fear of lawyers. In the words of Twisted Sister, "We're not going to take it", and I won't. I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be here... *grimace*  
Kind regards,  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  


**Chapter nine**

    Severus felt my forehead, touched my hand to feel for clamminess, and made a big fuss with a thorough examination of me.  I found this to be quite unnerving.  He turned his attention away from me when Dumbledore spoke.        

     "This isn't good Severus."  Dumbledore placed a protective hand on my shoulder.  "What can you tell me about the Gurth Curse."

     Severus looked immensely careworn, "The word 'Gurth' is the Elvish word for death.  I did much research to help develop this torture technique when I worked for Voldemort.  A victim is slowly mentally decomposed by memories.  Often the only noticeable symptom of  Gurth, is absentmindedness."  He placed his left hand on my stomach.  "You'll be fine Milah.  I can fix this...  She's totally coherent, but is imprisoned inside her body.  All Death Eaters are familiar with this particular curse.  What surprises me, is why she didn't notice the symptoms right away, and look for help.  No matter, Milah, I'll have you up and fighting soon."  He caressed my cheek, and walked out the room.

     "Never fear, Milah...  Your men will always look out for you.  Lucky for you that Severus knows what he's doing."  Albus rose from his chair with a final thought of '_I hope'._  "I believe that outside, a certain person is quite beside himself.  I will fill him in on everything that has happened, and send him in to keep you company.  I hope this is okay."  I heard the doorknob click, and voices outside going a mile a minute.  

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~

     "Where is she?  Is she okay?  Where's my fiancé?"

     "Please sir, this is a hospital.  Do calm yourself.  You could disturb other patients."

     "Where is Milah Merverosa?"  Remus demanded.

     "Nurse, see if you can't find where this man's fiancé is..."

     Remus walked up to the nurse's station.  "Name?"  She asked brusquely.

     "Milah Merverosa."  His voice was shaking.  The only thing that he knew was that she had been hurt badly on the job.   It was a high profile Ministry of Magic raid.  

       He thought that he saw her eyes soften as she read her chart.  "Room 504 L."  She stated, quite a bit more gently than before.

     "Is there anything that I should know before I go in?"

     "Just be quiet; she's been through quite an ordeal."

*****_(present day)_*****

     "Milah?  I know that you're awake.  Albus told me all about it.  Gurth sounds terrible."  He laughed nervously.  "G-d, this is the second time I've done this.  I should be an old pro, right?"  He twiddled his thumbs.  "What should I do; I don't want you to be bored...  Um, I could read you a book.  No, I'll just talk about nothing for awhile.  Last time you said that it made you feel better."  He sank into the plush chair at my side and bowed his head.  "I remember, like it was yesterday, the first time that I met you."

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

     "Lasciamme solo!"  I cried.  "Perfavore.  _Please_!  No hurt!"  My English was very rough, and I was having a difficult time.  Many children were nice to me, but most felt the need to pick on me.  This particular night a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, my own housemate, were pushing me around.

     "What was that retard?  What did you say?"  I never ever saw a Hufflepuff so mean

     "Lasciamme solo!"  (Translation: Leave me alone!)  I held my hands in front of me for defense.  They were closing in to beat me.

     "Mr.  Nellwitz, Mr. Malfoy!  Do _not _move an inch!"  An icy voice screamed.

     "Professor LeStrange, what are you doing here?"  The Slytherin asked, more than a little nervously.

     "Obviously, I arrived right on time.  Detention with Filch tomorrow night!  I can't _wait_ to see what he comes up with..."  Pure wickedness was flashing in her eyes.  Now go, both of you..."  They ran like scared children.   "Milah, do you know why Professor Dumbledore sent you here?"

     "English, please, I think?"  Four of about eight English words in my vocabulary.

     "Yes, English.  As Head of Slytherin House, I am to oversee your training.  Your tutor is none other than Remus Lupin."  She put her arm on Remus' shoulder.  '_He's a sickly looking thing_', I thought to myself, _'how is he going to teach me English?'_

     "Hallo Remus.  Molto piacere."  _(nice to meet you)_ I chose my words carefully, not wanting to look dumb.

     "Hello Milah, It's nice to meet you too."  His eyes shone.  "I'm glad that Dumbledore asked me to help you.  You seem very nice, and I know how hard it is moving to a new place."  He extended his hand to shake, and I looked at him dumbly.  He laughed.  "We have a lot to learn Milah!  You're smart, so you'll pick up quickly."

*****_(Present time)_*****

     "I saw Nellwitz just last week, Milah.  Boy is he _ugly_!"  He laughed at his own joke.  "How would both our lives have been different, Milah, if Dumbledore hadn't asked me to tutor you?  I can't even _begin_ to imagine."  He stood up to stretch his legs.  "It's nearly dark outside.  I'll be back in a minute.  I'd like to get a cloth to wipe your face.  Don't worry Milah, I'll come back."

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B)*~*~*~*~*

     "504 L."  He read a sign on the door in St. Mungo's.  It made perfect sense because tan robed Aurors were crowding the entire floor.  This was obviously a _big_ raid.  Upon noticing him, Rupert Felton, her fellow Auror and mentor, walked up to Remus.  "She fought valiantly Remus."  He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.  "She fought like a true soldier.  She took three of them down with her."

     Fear struck into Remus' heart, "Wait!  Took three down with her?  She's _dead_?"

     "No, no, no, Remus, you misunderstood me.  Calm down.  She killed three Death Eaters.  Got one after she was wounded.  She's not quite conscious yet, but if you talk to her, she'll know.  Nothing serious, Remus.  Keep it light."  He lifted his hand off of Remus' shoulder, "Oh, and I speak for the entire Ministry when I saw that we are sorry for your loss.  I'm afraid that we didn't know..."  He stepped aside to let a perplexed Remus open the door.

     The door was immensely heavy, and took forever to open, creaking every step of the way.  He took baby steps in, afraid of what he'd find.  Death Eaters were brutal creatures, sub-human...  "Oh my G-d, Milah!  What have they _done _to you?"  A single tear dropped down his bony face.  "I'll kill them, I swear, if I ever come in contact with one, I'll kill it!" He seemed to suddenly realize that his conversation was anything but cheerful.  "Keep it _light _Remus!  Okay..."  He looked thoughtful.  "You like good Jewish jokes, right?   I heard one yesterday...  A rabbi, a priest and a minister walked into a bar...  No, that one's not funny, but hey, this one is...  I laughed so hard."  His eyes glittered "You're at a Jewish wedding... How can you tell if it's Orthodox, Reform, or Liberal?"  He looked at me purposely, expecting me to answer.  "You don't know?  Well, in an Orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant. In a Reform wedding, the bride is pregnant. In a Liberal wedding the Rabbi is pregnant!"  He grabbed his sides with laughter.  "Or what about this one?  '_Moishe, will you still love me when my hair is gray?'_ asks Yente. '_Of course,' _says Moishe. '_I've loved you through blond, brunette, red and every other colour. Why not gray?'_  You're probably _not_ amused, so I'll cut it with the ethnic jokes..."  His voice trailed.  "I'm sorry that I forgot to call on you yesterday...  I know that I should have.  G-d, I feel terrible!  Did it hurt you Milah?  I never want you to hurt..."

*****_(present day)_*****

     Severus locked himself in the classroom that night.  He experimented with all kinds of potions.  Most didn't have the effect he wanted to.  "How many rats am I going to have to test?"  He was getting frustrated.  This was _not_ his idea of fun.  Finally, he placed half of a newt's retina, and the anal cavity of a toad in the mysterious concoction.  It turned a sickly green, and let out a long hiss.  Severus conjured up another rat, Gurthed it, and fed it the potion.  It moved, but only just.  "I suppose that a little movement is better than no movement at all..."  He spooned some in a large glass.  "This stuff looks detestable; thank G-d that she's knocked out, or I'd never get her to drink it."  

     I was still unconscious, and could feel Remus wiping the sweat off my brow.  After all these years, he still loved me.  He never left my side...  I felt terrible.  A searing pain roared in my left sleeve, snapping me out of Gurth.  "AAOOOOOOOOOWWWOOOOOO!  Que DOLOR!"  I sat up quickly, knocking the chair, as well as its occupant, backwards.  "Il mio Braccio!"  _(My arm!) _ Savage blood curdling screams were coming from my mouth.  Remus was terrified.  He stumbled as he stood up, dusting himself off.

     "Milah, Milah...  Hey...  It was all a dream.  It's okay, I've got you."  I didn't hear him.  My Dark Mark _never _hurt like this before.

     Severus was doubled over in the hallway.  He nearly dropped Milah's Gurth potion, but when he heard her scream, he knew that it didn't matter.  Despite his own pain, he ran down the darkened corridor to her room.  "Lupin must be terrified", he said with a revolting smile.  

     "Please Milah,"  He sat on the edge of the bed. "Please stop screaming.  It's alright."  Severus appeared in the doorway.

     "Lupin, OUT!"  He pointed outside the door. 

     "I'm not leaving."  He protectively put an arm round me, hitting my mark, making it worse.

     "LUPIN, OUT!"  He yelled this time.  Remus left.  I looked at Severus with tears glistening in my crystal blue eyes.  

     "Can you feel it?  It _hurts_, Severus.  My arm..."  I whimpered.

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~*~

     An owl floated to a nearby apartment.  Large and tawny, he'd seen it before.  "Arpeggio, what are you doing here?"  Severus asked the owl.  He displayed the letter attached to his leg.  "Milah wrote me a letter!  She's on speaking terms with me?  She hasn't spoken to me since...  It's been more than a year...  Thank you Arpeggio."  He handed the owl a cracker in thanks, and it took off.

     The text of the letter was simple.  It didn't even sound like something Milah would write:

            _My house, eight o'clock_.

_     ~M_.

     "I wonder what's going on..."  He stated, but he had fifteen minutes to get ready.

     Being an Auror for the Ministry of Magic, I was well paid.  I lived in a nice sized house all by myself, and I could afford anything that I wanted.  Money was no issue to a high up Auror such as myself.  Severus opened the large black iron gate and stepped inside.  Something wasn't right, and he felt it.  Slowly, ever so slowly, he drew his wand as he walked to the door.  It opened automatically as he stood near it.  "Milah?  Are you home?"  He went no farther than the door frame.  

     "Sono qui Sevi!"  (_I'm here, Severus) _ He heard me say, and followed my voice.  He found me sitting in a plush green chair.  A fire was lit in the hearth, and I was knitting.  An Afghan most likely, he thought.  She looks magnificent, his mind wandered over my frame.  I Covered my scars with a long-sleeved dress robe that clung in all the right places, but flowed as I stood to greet my visitor.  "Good evening, Severus.  I'm glad that you came so suddenly."  I touched his cheek.  "You look uncomfortable.  What's the matter?"

     "You haven't spoken to me in a year, and now it's as if no time has been lost...  I don't understand."

     "Neither did I, at first.  I wanted to kill you.  I knew that I would be an Auror, and you were a Death Eater.  I wanted to be the one to kill you."  I noticed the nervousness that crossed his face.  "Put your wand down Severus, I am unarmed."  I pointed to my wand sitting on an end table.  "If the Ministry knew that you were here, in my living room, the place would be swamped."  I looked away, almost ashamed to share my secret- our secret.  

     "Why am I here, Milah?"  He grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes.  He gave me a menacing glare, trying to intimidate me.  "You've known me for years.  Hateful, bitter, Severus.  You know that there's nothing that you can't tell me."

     My eyes averted from his gaze, "I'm ashamed of myself, but I did it."

     "Did what?"  His eyes were searching to see what I had done.  He was really getting worried.  _'Has she gone mad?'_ he thought.

     I sat down on the edge of my seat and reached for my sleeve.  "I did it for you...  You're not so lonely now..."  Tears flowed freely from my eyes.  It _hurt_...  I raised it for him to see that I too, was a minion of Voldemort.

     "When did- Why did-  I don't understand, Milah?  You're an Auror..."  A million thoughts flashed through Severus' mind, and none of them were good.  Was this a ploy to reel him in?

     "It _hurts _me, Severus.  It burns..."  I dropped my sleeve, put my face in my hands and cried.  "The only reason he took me so willingly was because of my high ranking position...  I would be a good informant.  What have I done, Severus?"

     I looked up at him, and I've never seen him so upset.  "Why Milah?  You really signed your life over to him?"

     I nodded, "I thought that it would be good.  You never regretted joining..."

     "But I have no one, Milah!  I've spent my life alone.  Dead parents, siblings, no friends...  You were it, Milah...  My whole world wrapped up in one small package.  You didn't feel the same way...  I'm a bitter man...  I had no life to sign over, but you-  You have everything..."

     "Don't you think that I'm lonely too, Sevi?  My life was _never _easy!  It _hurts..._  Help me...  Please...  I don't want to be alone anymore.  I don't want to suffer this alone..."

     He stood, crossed the room, and sat down on the floor in front of me; like he used to do in school...  "You can do, survive, and be anything you want to."  I saw the cruelty slowly ebbing out of his beetle black eyes.  "Whatever made you choose this path is personal.  There is no way out except for death.  We're in this for life, Milah.  This is no game..."  He took my left hand and pressed it against his cheek, despair now evident on his face.  "You were never alone.  I was always here for you, as was Lupin."  He said his name with venom because he was jealous that I chose to date Remus.  "Does he know?  Did you tell Lupin?"  He looked into my eyes.  I had forgotten how black they were.  Emotionless and heartless, to a point.  

     "That's a stupid question, Severus.  Why would I tell Remus something like this?"

     Pain flashed in my old friend's eyes, "Because he loves you.  You don't hide things from the people you love, Milah, that's why I told you as soon as it happened."  A tear dropped from his eye.  For a nineteen year old, he looked so much older.  

     "I can't tell him.  Remus can never know, Severus.  It might kill him."

     "He'll find out eventually Milah, you know this?"

     "Only if someone tells him."  I looked deeply at my friend, hinting that I didn't want Remus to be told.

     "When he comes back from his studies and spends long nights here, don't you think he will _see_?  He may be a bit thick, but he's not stupid Milah."  

     "I never accused him of being dumb.  I shall just...  Lights off, you know..."  He had a good point, and I didn't like it.  I knew that he would find out-- someday.

     "And what about the pains in your arm?  I'm sure he will eventually notice those as well as the mysterious nighttime disappearances.  You should never hide things from the person you love, but I can respect your decision for not telling him.  Only know that I will be here for you when he finds out.  I don't know how he will take the news.  It probably won't be well...  He may leave you...  You and I both know that he's in the Order of the Phoenix."    

     "Thank you Sevi...  For being here for me, I mean."  He stood to leave.  "Please Severus, don't go..."  I wasn't thinking clearly...  My mind was fuzzy, the room was spinning, and perhaps I had a bit too much to drink; but I had never seen Severus look so powerful.  He looked powerful and beautiful.  His boyish face had been transformed in the expanse of a year to a very manly, gaunt face.  Despite its ruggedness, I found its splendor.    

     "Why should I stay?"  His eyes narrowed, his lips pursed.

     "Because you want to...  I know you do..."  I reached out my hand to stroke his hair.  He was just inches from me now.  I could feel his warm breath on my neck as I snaked  my arms around him.  His body went rigid.

     "Jesus, Milah..."  He croaked out, barely above a whisper.

     "Jesus has nothing to do with this...  Not in my house, at least."  I murmured sweetly, and  I kissed him with a ferocity that was never seen before, nor will ever be seen again.  I reached to unbutton his robe, and he removed his hands from my waist to stop me.

     "Are you sure that you want to do this?  If you go any further, I won't be able to stop...  Even if you ask me to..."  His breathing had become much more rapid, and I was suddenly aware of the precarious situation that I was placed in.  

     I don't know what came over me.  I wasn't myself...  "Then don't stop.  Don't stop Severus...  Never stop..."

*****(_time change)_*****

     I had the best sex of my life that night.  Remus had always been a good lover, but I had nothing to hide from Severus.  He accepted me for who I was, _what_ I was.  Emotionally, I belonged to both men.  Remus was better husband material, but Severus, as kindhearted as he could be, was the better lover.  Severus was also better off financially than Remus would ever be...  The Dark Lord paid his servants _very_ well.  I opened up a whole new can of worms that night, getting a lot more than I bargained for.

     I had a boyfriend continuing his education in Ireland, and a Death Eater sharing my bed at home.  I told you that I wasn't thinking clearly...  I should lay off the schnops, and believe me, after that night, I did...

*** * 

A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!  
  
This is one of my better chapters. I like it because it really shows the anguish that Milah is going through... It shows how it's got her doing strange things. *grins* She can pass Severus and Remus on to me when she's done playing with them...  
*winks*

Later babes!  
~Milah


	10. Bad nights and not so good mornings

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Please Read and **_Review_**! I'm very sick. Don't expect much out of this chapter, but I'll be sure to try and trudge through it...  
  
I have a mortal fear of lawyers. In the words of REM, "Everybody Hurts", and I do everyday because I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be here now would I??? *grimace*  
  
Ok, we're still in flashback! Several weeks have passed, and keep in mind that Remus is traveling the world to gain experience with all of these dark creatures... Severus has "moved in", and poor Milah is trying to get her act together... Oy, such a soap opera!  
Kind regards,  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  


**Chapter ten**

"Good Morning..." Severus cooed.  I rolled over and put a pillow over my head.  
  
"Go away, Severus..."  
  
"Ooh... Big time Auror spy Merverosa has a temper." He bent over to kiss me, and I took a mad swing in the air with my pillow.  
  
"Get away. I'm tired."  
  
"All you do is sleep... You're _boring_!" I could almost feel his sarcasm.  
  
I knew that he wouldn't allow me to sleep, so I sat up. "I have two full time jobs, Severus. I'm always tired. Feeding useless information to Death Eater central is hard, especially when you spend most of your day trying to pick out all of the useless information... I'm tired, and I'm getting a cold." I was whining by now. "Owl Mr. Felton and tell him to cover for me..."  
  
He raised his eyebrows and said, "Right Milah, I am just going to owl a top Ministry Auror and announce that you're staying home sick... Whatever drugs you're on, I need them..."  
  
"I guess it would be bad for a wanted, supposed Death Eater to owl me in as sick..." I lay back down in bed.  
  
"Do you want breakfast?"  
  
"I'm sick... Make it yourself..."  
  
"No... I'm asking if you want it..." He sat at the edge of the bed, by my face.  
  
"I'll only throw it up. Go away please. I need to heal now..." I slept until I kept hearing a tapping noise. "Severus, get out of my house... Now!" The tapping got louder... I picked up my head and yelled, "Go to _hell_ for all I care, Severus, just go!!" He walked in looking startled.  
  
"What did I do?" He truly looked dumbfounded.  
  
"Then... What?? I'm going to _die_..." I collapsed, and the confounded tapping started again.  
  
"Oh, is that what's bothering you? I'm afraid that is my fault then. An owl flew in today, and it was rather insistent that it get to you. I told him where your window was..." He walked over to open my bay window. It was far too cold for that.  
  
"Close that window, dammit. Are you mad? I'm in my skivvies!"  
  
"And if I had just one wish, you'd stay that way. I have to go for awhile. I'll be back later." He kissed me softly, and dissapperated right there.  
  
The owl landed on my bed. He looked exhausted. "Sorry I didn't open the window for you. They have a refreshment station in the kitchen, if you're interested..." I took the letter from his leg, and upon reading the address, my heart skipped a beat. "Ireland! It's from Remus!!"  
  
I tore the envelope open to read:  
  
_Dear Milah,  
  
How are you? I hope that all is well. I'm just finishing up with Ireland, and by the time you get this, I should be nearly home. I'm planning on spending the week with you, and then it's off to Bulgaria. They have a fantastic array of grindylows to study. Expect me to apparate about lunch time! I have so much to tell you, Milah...  A lot has happened to me since we last saw each other... I love you with all of my heart and soul!  
  
~Remus J. Lupin  
_  
"Shit!" What am I going to do now... I looked at my watch. "11:30!" I sent a quick note to Severus telling him to sod off for a bit, and dressed as fast as possible. There was a knock. G-d, I feel terrible...  
  
"Remus!" I exclaimed. I truly was happy to see him. "Oh baby, how are you? I'm so glad that you came home."  
  
He kissed me. "I couldn't stay away for long. After all, I had to tell you what you mean to me." He knelt down on my front porch. "You have been my entire world since I met you. I've loved you for G-d knows how long, and I can't imagine my life without you..." He looked up, and tears were in his eyes. "I guess what I'm trying to say is... Well, um, Milah..." He pulled a box out of his robes. "Will you make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?"  
  
I was speechless. How do you answer to a greeting like that? I'll tell you what I did... I threw up. Right on the porch... It narrowly missed Remus. He grimaced. "Is that a yes?"  
  
"I'm sick stupid... But yes, I'll marry you." I passed out.  
  
*****_(present day)*****_

Waking up Monday morning for my first day of class took some doing. I somehow managed, and stumbled off to the old Charms classroom. I sat down at my desk and mentally profiled each of the students as the came in. My very first class was Slytherin and Gryffindor sixth years. Oh, what fun...  Forgive me if I don't do cartwheels. Many of the Slytherin children looked just like their parents. I called roll as a sort of Protocol because it's what teachers do.  
  
"Vicent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Draco Malfoy..."  
  


*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

"You dirty son of a bitch! Get off the ground!" I hit the man in the head with a lead pipe again. "Why don't you move? Is it because old Voldie told you not to?" I kicked him in his side. "You're just a scared old man, Malfoy. Scared and insignificant. I'm gonna be so happy when your ass is in the clink. Crucio!" He curled into a fetal position, and Draconis Malfoy Sr. was no more. The aged Death Eater's frame couldn't take the pain.  
  


"One down..." I slipped stealthily through the abandoned castle that was Death Eater Central. When they gave me my assignment this morning, my eyes nearly popped out of my head. Here I am, pregnant, and going on a ministry raid. Of course I left the pregnant part out... I won't tell Rupert until he needs to know. Nothing bad is going to happen to me here...  
  


I wandered the dark corridors searching for the room where a rumored stone was supposed to be.  I could find nothing, but my primary job was to stun as many Death Eaters as I could, so someone else could find it.  They came out of nowhere. An entire circle of about five came at me. I pitched and dodged both curses, and physical objects. I caused another one to go down. He wasn't moving... I was really getting tired... 

"What the hell? Milah, hang on! We're coming!" Good, reinforcements.  
I never saw it coming. I heard Rupert yell for me to move, but I didn't know where to go. The other Aurors had knocked out all but one Death Eater, and she was the one who did it. "Fuego!" it cried. Then I was engulfed in flame. Not thinking, as I'm sure most burning people wouldn't be, I used the killing curse on the Death Eater. Then I collapsed into darkness.  
  
*********************************************************************** 

"Imogene Mystique, Harry Potter..." I looked up to see a dark haired boy sitting at the head of the class, "Just like your father." I smiled, and to my relief, so did he. "Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson, Ronald Weasley... Forgive me if I don't feel like calling the entire roll as there's quite a few of you." I looked around, and noticed who was paying attention. "For our first lesson, I decided to do something fun. We're almost all sixth years!" I said with a grin. Just then, Remus walked in. "And some of us, have the maturity level of a sixth year..."  
  
The students roared with laughter. "Sorry to interrupt you Professor, but I must request a private audience..."  
  
"Why so formal Remus? Let me get them started, and then we can talk." I motioned him to sit at my desk. The students were still laughing.  
  
"Did she say something about me?" He looked absolutely baffled. "Harry, you'd tell me right?"  
  
Poor Harry didn't know what to do... "Um, well, Professor... She stated how lovely you looked... Yeah, that was it!"  
  
"Today we are going to do beautification charms!" I said brightly. "They aren't very difficult, and can come in handy when you're in a bit of a bind..." I looked at my colleague only to see how terrible he looked. _'Full moon tonight'_, I thought to myself. "To do this charm you must learn the proper wand movement." I demonstrated "See, it's not too bad, notice how good I am at it? It gets better with practice..." Both the students and Remus laughed. It was good to see him crack a smile... "Now, combine this with 'Bellaficationis'. This charm will be your best friend if you don't sleep the night before... Keep practicing while I see what Professor Lupin needs. Pick your own partner, huh?"  
  
We stepped into my office, and I shut the door to muffle the sound of chanting students. "What's the matter Remus?"  
  
"I need you to do something for me. It's not going to be an easy task, but I need it to be done. You were the only one that I trust..."  
  


*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*

He sat at my bedside in St. Mungo's for hours before a nurse came in to check on me. "Oh, are you family?"

He looked beside himself. "Yes, I'm the only family she has. I'm her fiancé."  
She suddenly looked down at my chart and looked back up again. "I'm terribly sorry. I'm so sorry. It's never easy to lose one..."  
"Lose what? She's alive! I'm watching her breathe..."  
"You didn't know? Ms. Merverosa was with child. The child was unable to survive with the intense conditions that an elemental curse creates within the body. Your baby didn't stand a chance..." She placed a hand on Remus' shoulder. "I'm so very sorry."  
His face was unreadable. "I didn't even know that she was pregnant. How far was she?"  
  


"We don't know. Things were in pretty bad shape when we found out. It looks about eight weeks... Could be more or less though."  
  


"Just the time that I came home from Ireland. Oh, Milah..." He sat down by the bed and rested both his hand and his head on my tummy. "If only I'd known. I'm so sorry that I left again."  
  


"Sir, there's nothing there. You won't hear a heartbeat. Your child is gone... Your fiancé is doing well though." She said quickly, hoping to loosen the tension in the room. "She isn't in much pain. Her vitals are excellent. She'll pull through with flying colors."  
  


"Thank you nurse." He put his head in his hands and cried for hours on end.  
  
*****_(present day)_*****  
  


"What's the matter, Remus?"  
  


"Full Moon is tonight."  
  


"Yes..." I didn't quite know where this was going. I raised my eyebrows to show that I was interested.  
  


"This will be the first time that I use this miracle potion. I'm scared to do it by myself as I don't know what will happen. Severus didn't want to sit with me. Said to go and ask you because he didn't want to get eaten."  
  


I laughed. "He always did have a sick sense of humour."  
  


"It's not funny, Milah."  
  


"I'm sorry, Remus." I put my head on his shoulder. "I never meant to offend. What's this potion supposed to do, anyway?" I popped my head up instantly because I heard an explosion.  
  


The scene that greeted me outside my office door was shocking.  "Imogene Mystique! What did you do?" I looked to a red-headed Gryffindor.  
  


"I got stuck with Draco Malfoy as a partner, and he said something crummy. I _accidentally_ did the beautification counter-curse. I didn't mean to, _honest_." She struggled to keep her composure, as did the rest of Gryffindor house. The Slytherins were quite upset.  
  


I struggled to keep laughter at bay. "Remus, I'm not quite sure what to do here. How would you handle this?"  
  


"Malfoy, hospital wing. Imogene, you can serve a detention with me on Thursday night." He really looked terribly ill. "You'll help me then, Professor." The class couldn't help but notice the look of desperation in his eyes.  
  
"Of course I will, what are friends for? I'll see you in a bit." He left as quietly as he entered. "So, who managed it?" For the most part, they all looked quite lovely. Seamus Finnigan scorched his partner a bit, but all in all they looked great. "Ok my pretties. You may leave. Practice more! Get it down pat my our next session. We'll cover engorgement charms. Have a good day!" I shouted as they filed out the room. All except for one. "Mr. Potter, is something wrong."  
  
"You knew my father?"  
  
"I knew all the marauders. I was friends with your parents through Professor Lupin. He taught me English after I transferred here from Durmstrang, and we became fast friends. You look just like your father, right down to your scruffy hair. But you have the eyes of your mother."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*

"Oh Lily, I'm never going to find a date to the Halloween Ball." I was distraught at the thought of being the only sixth year without a date. She was scanning the courtyard for someone without a date, most likely.  
  


She looked at me quite seriously, "What about Severus? None of us ever liked him, but he's quite taken by you."  
"He doesn't want to go. Already expressed his distaste for social events."

"He simply doesn't want to go?  Or has he specifically said that he doesn't want to go with you? Have you asked him?"  She asked me with a quizzical expression on her face.  
  


"After all the negative things that he's said about them? Why would I ask him?"  
  


"Because Milah, he may be trying to talking himself out of going. I'm sure that he'd go with you if you asked him."  
  


"I would rather not." I thought about the scene he created three nights ago, showing me his dark mark. "I would rather not attend on his arm." My eyes darkened.  
  


"I have an idea. Don't move!" She ran off in James Potter's direction, whispered something while pointing at me, and I watched as he ran off. Something was going on, and I didn't like it; not one little bit.  
  
*****_(Present Day)_*****  
"Sure Harry, your parents were loads of fun. Sirius was too. How is he?" I hadn't thought of Sirius in years.  
  


"He's well. He's off with one of his friends while I'm at school. I'll be sure to tell him that you asked for him though." He looked a bit awkward. "I've known Professor Lupin for a long time, and umm."  
  


"As have I."  I smiled at this miniature version of James.  
  


"Well, I wanted to say that." He ran his fingers through his unruly hair.  
  


"Your father always did that when he was either nervous, or hiding something." I raised my eyebrows.  
  


"I wanted to say that I see how his eyes light up when he sees you. I think that it's nice for him to have a friend. He needs one."  Harry seemed to have found something fascinating about his feet because he couldn't look me in the eyes...  
  


"Thank you Harry. Don't you have a class to go to?"  
  


"Oh!" He ran out the room at top speed.  
  


"Just like his father..."  
  


*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*

 "Jeez Severus, dinner is yucky tonight." I had a disgusted look on my face.  
  


"You're just bitter because it's pork, yum." He took a big bite.  
  


"Bleach! How can you eat that?" Just then I heard the sounds of angry voices. Looking around for the source of the trouble, I saw Remus walking up to the Slytherin table. He looked quite a bit healthier than he did two days before.  
  


"Snape." He nodded a greeting.  
  


"Hallo teacher Remus. You look like you feel better. I hope that you do." I stabbed at the pork. "Ick."  
  


"That's a flattering face you made there." He smiled sadly. "I do feel better. Just a lingering illness." He shuffled his feet, looking at Severus, hoping that he would keep quiet about just what his lingering illness was. The Slytherins were becoming antsy.  
  


"Get out of here freak!"  
  


"No Gryffindors allowed!"  
  


"Nerd!"  
  


"I wanted to know, if I mean, umm, if you didn't already." He was losing his nerve. "If you wanted to go to the Ball with me?" He wasn't making much sense, but I understood him well enough. It took a great deal of courage to do what he did. Especially walking over to our table.  
  


What came over Severus, I'll never know. "Get out of here, Lupin. You're too late. I asked her this morning."  
  


"But Severus, you didn't-"  
  


"It wasn't romantic enough for you?" He kissed my hand. "Is that better?"  
  


"Remus, I--" It was too late. He was already walking away with his head hung low. I ran after him, and quickly cornered him in front of the Library. "Remus, please listen to me. You no understand."  
  


"I taught you to speak better than _that_, Milah." He said icily.  
  


"Severus didn't ask me to go. I don't have a date yet."  I said very slowly, choosing my words carefully because I didn't want to upset him anymore.  
  


"James said that you didn't. I was hoping that Severus was lying. Do you still want to go with me?"  
  


"Maybe, if you're nice to me." I said as I watched him beam. "It's nice to see you smile. You always look so tired."  
  


"Of course I'll be nice to you. You're just mad because of that drill I gave you last week."  He ran his fingers through his sandy hair.  "I know, it was hard. You are nearly fluent now. You should be proud! You won't need me soon." He looked at his feet.  
  


"I've grown accustomed to your presence. I'll always need you, Remus. You're my friend. No matter how horrid my insides feel, you're nice to me. That's rare." I smiled and I left, feeling quite proud of myself at the moment.  
  
*****_(present day)_***** 

I decided to pay a visit to Severus' dungeons that evening to get the scoop on what was happening with this "miracle potion" that Remus made reference to. "Well Milah, it's a multi step potion series. Step one is the most decisive. It's the basic wolfsbane with a twist. He will keep his mind, but will only transform partially. Each month he will transform less and less until gradually he won't transform at all. Best case scenario, he'll only sprout some extra fur."  
  
"Why did you make the 'eat' comment. It hurt him."  I gave Severus a perfectly disdainful glare.  
  
"Honestly, Lupin can't take a joke?"  
  
"I'm sure that you didn't phrase it like one, Severus."  
  
"He'll be perfectly safe, I assure you, but if you'd like me to sit with you, I will."  
  
"No, I think that I can handle him myself.  I've dealt with him before."  
  
"How's your arm, Milah?" Neither noticed Remus stand near the door.  
  
"It's feeling much better, thanks. I'm glad you asked him to leave. He still doesn't know, and I don't want him to know."  
  
"Doesn't know about what, Milah?  That it was I who fathered your child, or that you're an ex-Death Eater? If you truly loved him, you would tell him."  
  
My eyes darkened. I didn't want to remember the child that I had lost. "That was so many years ago, Severus. I am not about to reopen old wounds. Remus is all that I've got, aside from you, and I'm not ready for love. Something bad always happens to me when I let myself fall."  
  
Severus put his wand on the desk, sighed, and said, "Whether or not you are ready for it, love is upon you. I know that I still care for you-- probably more than is healthy.  Lupin obviously still loves you. And by you coming to me today to ask about this task tonight, it shows me how you feel for him."  
  
Remus was stunned. "It's all a dream. Just a bad dream." He backed against the stone wall and collapsed.  
  
"What was that?" Severus and I ran to the door. "My G-d, do you think that he heard?"  
  
"I don't know Milah, I just don't know."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

I had been in St. Mungo's for two weeks. A blinding pain shot into my arm, and I cried out. There were voices in the room other than my own. "_Out_ Lupin. You can't stay. Only I can help her."  
  
"I'm her fiancé G-d dammit. I'm not about to let you dress her burns. Milah, I'm so glad that you're awake. It's me, Remus. I know that you hurt right now, but in a few weeks we'll be able to bring you home."  
  
"I've already arranged a place for her to stay Lupin. She needs the utmost care now."  
  
"And I'm sure that a slimy git like you can provide it to her." he was angry.  
  
"Remus..." His anger melted away as he looked at me.  It took all of my strength to call his name.  
  
"What baby?"  He asked as he took my hand.    
  
"Please, you have to let Severus help me. He can fix what's wrong." Hate welled in his eyes.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"For me, Remus. You can visit when you want. I need his skill with potions to, hopefully, heal this with minimal scarring. We have a wedding to think about, and I have a strapless dress."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me about the baby, Milah?"  
  
"Baby!" Severus cried. "What baby?"  
  
I started to cry. "I lost my baby-- our baby." Remus held my hand. It was the most horrible night of my life. At least I'd be out by tomorrow.  
  
"It's alright Milah, it doesn't matter. There can be more." His voice trailed and shook. How could I tell him that it wasn't his? I wouldn't. And he'd never find out about me becoming a Death Eater either.  
  
"Do you know how lucky you are, Milah?" Severus questioned as he bandaged my arm, "If the staff had been able to make out the design on your arm..." He looked away. "It was so mangled that they couldn't make out the design. Thought it was a muggle tattoo. All for the best, I suppose." He continued to bandage me. There was a knock on my door, and Remus stepped in.  
  
"How are you feeling?" He sat in between Severus and myself. "I hope better. Rupert and the others have asked about you. I told them that you may be leaving the Ministry."  
  
"What!" I certainly didn't need this.  
  
"We're getting married in a month, Milah. I don't want this to happen again."  
  
I was infuriated. "What am I supposed to do, Remus? Just sit around? We need at least one stable paycheck!"  
  
His eyes clouded, and I knew that I really struck a nerve. "I can't help what I am, Milah. Do you want out?" He began to wring his hands. "Nobody wants a werewolf for a husband. Do you still want me?"  
  
My arm wasn't as heavily bandaged as it had been, and I could move a bit now. I sat up out of bed and laced my arms around him, "Of course not, Remus. I love you, and I _never_ minded having a werewolf for a husband." Just then, an owl flew threw my open window, dropped a letter in Remus' lap, and flew off with several more tied to his leg.  
  
_Remus,  
  
Lily and James Potter have been murdered by one Lord Voldemort. Harry is alive and well, and is in my care.  
  
~Albus Dumbledore  
_  
I didn't read the note, but then again, I didn't have to. I knew about the plan to kill them all along. I sent them several anonymous owls just yesterday, warning them that this was coming. I did the best I could to help them. I'm just glad that Harry was okay.  Remus collapsed in my arms and sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Remus. I am so very sorry. At least Harry is okay..."

*** * 

A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!  
  
The chapter before this one, this one, and the next one are my absolute favourites. I like them because it really shows the anguish that Milah is going through... Her battle between good and evil is raging, and it's driving her mad... Imagine how she felt when Remus learned of the death of the Potters... What if she was responsible??? Ooooooh! Big plot hint... *winks*

Later babes!  
~Milah


	11. Do I not love you enough?

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: I have a mortal fear of lawyers. In the words of Twisted Sister, "We're not going to take it", and I won't. I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be here... *grimace*  
  
Kirbee Angel is my very first review! Thank you!!! *Grins sheepishly* I have all sorts of happenings in my life to fuel my writings, so stay with me. It's going to be an interesting ride...  
  
For everyone else who hasn't reviewed, please do so...  
  
We're no longer in flashback... For a brief moment in time, hehe...  
Kind regards,  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  


**Chapter eleven**

"G-d Severus, if he heard us I'll just die."   I said as we floated his unconscious body to my room.  It was almost time for his transformation.  

 "Remember that we have given him the potion, and that he will be of no danger.  If, for some reason, he does do something just zap him."  The body dropped onto my bed, "The pain from transforming will wake him, if he doesn't wake sooner.  I'm going to soundproof the chamber so that he doesn't disturb the students.  Good night, Milah.  I'm connecting this hearth just in case.  Sleep well."  He whipped around and left me alone on the night of a full moon with a fully grown werewolf.

"Remus?  Can you hear me?"  I had to know if he heard us.  "Remus.  Wake up!"  I gently shook him.  His eyes opened narrowly.  He looked very weak, and had turned very pale, almost like a corpse.  "I wanted you to know where you were.  We've given you the potion already.  Do you know who I am?"

His reply was a long time in coming, and the suspense was killing me.  "You're my wife.  That's what you are."  His body began to convulse, and his transformation began.  The fact that he had lost his mind was besides the point.  He apparently didn't hear us, or he didn't care…  

The transformation took twenty minutes.  First he began to sprout hair, then his face became misshapen.  His arms and legs turned into paws.  It was unlike anything that I had ever seen before, and nothing could have prepared me for what I bore witness to that night.  It was amazing.  I always thought that he was a good looking man, but I never saw a real live werewolf.  I was unprepared for his sheer animalistic beauty.  Gray and shabby, but beautiful all the same.  His pale yellow eyes shone as if they had always been that way.  I wondered if his eyes were that color at birth, or had been acquired after the bite.  

Suddenly, all became still.  He just lay there, still as death.  I had been sitting in a chair near the bed to give him his space, but now that he was finished I pulled the chair closer.  Then I knelt down beside the bed to look him in his eyes.  "Remus honey, are you okay?  Can you hear me?"  He still wasn't moving.  "Answer me Remus.  I've never seen this before.  Give me a grunt, shake, some form of movement to show me that you're okay…"  I placed my hand on his neck and stroked all the way down his side.  He shivered.  "That's good enough for me…"  I picked up a book that I had been reading, and cracked it open.  "Twitch your ears if you want me to read to you."  He picked up his head this time, making me smile.  "I know all your weaknesses, Remus Lupin, and books are one of them."  

We read William Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing", and he seemed to have come around quite a bit.  I had moved to the floor so I could stretch out at about Act II Scene II. By Act III, Remus was curled up in my lap.  I lay my book down, and he picked his head up.  

"Remus, I'm tired.  You may have the day off, but I have to teach tomorrow.  I would like to go to bed."  I proceeded to change into my nightgown.  It wasn't the first time he had seen me change.  I turned around, ready to get some sleep.  "Just because you're a wolf doesn't mean you can kick me out of my own bed."  He lay smack in the middle.  "Lay at the foot like normal pets do…"  He picked up his head, looked at me belligerently, and plopped back down.  "Please don't make me pick you up and place you on the floor…"  I crossed the room to lay down and upon sitting on the edge of the bed, I stroked him.  "You make quite a stunning wolf, Remus.  Not that you weren't beautiful before."  He actually stood and rested his snout on my cheek.  "Thank you for moving, Teacher Remus…"  I crawled into the bed and knew no more.  I was exhausted.

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

"Milah, did you see the Daily Prophet?"  Remus was taking a break from his studies to make sure that I was back on my feet.  

"No, why?"  I walked over to where he was sitting, plopped a plate of breakfast in front of him, and he showed me the headline, 'War has begun:  Voldemort vs. the World'

"They could call me out.  The Order of the Phoenix, I mean."  He put down the paper, wrapped his arms around my waist, and rest his head on my stomach.  "I love you so much, Milah."

I was looking down at him, and I stroked his hair.  I always did it when he was sad; it made him feel better because he knew that I cared.  We had our own language, just Remus and me.  "I know that you do.  You tell me all the time."  I lifted his chin to look me in the face.  "We've got to talk."  I pulled up another kitchen chair to sit beside him.  He was searching me for answers.  "I received an interesting owl yesterday."  I took both of his hands.  Our wedding, the one that had a date that was continually being set back, was two weeks away.  How do you tell someone what I had to say?  "The Ministry needs me.  I'm well enough to fight…  I have to go, Remus.  I have to go…"  

"No Milah, you don't have to go…  You can't do this to me.  I can't take losing you.  I almost lost you last time, and I can't live through that again.  I just can't!  Please, stay here; if not for yourself, for me."  He squeezed my hands.  "Please Milah, don't leave me.  You still have ages of sick leave.  I could tell them that you're pregnant, and you could use maternity leave…  Stay with me.  I can't lose you."

"I'm already packed.  I leave tonight."  He fell to pieces.  "I waited until the last minute to tell you because I wanted to have as much of the normal you as possible.  Now you're going to cry all night."  He looked at me with the most absentminded look any person could have.

"Why?"  He croaked.  "Why do you have to leave?  Do I not love you enough?"

*****_(Present Day)_*****

He took the fresh robes that lay folded neatly on the bureau and quietly dressed himself.  Remus didn't feel so weak as he had last month.  He didn't want to wake Milah just yet.  "G-d, she's beautiful…"  He crawled next to her, lay down, and encircled his arms around her.  She sighed.  "You belong in my arms, you just do."  He whispered as he placed his head down and fell asleep.

I opened my eyes to see that the sun was shining a little too brightly.  It was time for me to start my second day.  Remus should be human again.  It was only then that I noticed that he had me ensnared in his arms.  "Remus…  Get up."  He slowly opened his eyes.  

"Good morning, Milah.  Did you sleep well?"  He never moved his arms, but allowed me to turn over and face him.

"Not really, but I'm sure that I had a better night's sleep than you…"  I tried to separate from him to get dressed.

"Don't go.  Your next class isn't for another hour.  Stay with me…  I want to talk to you about something."

_'Oh no.  Here it comes…'_  "But I'm hungry."  Any excuse…

"You can eat in a bit.  It won't take long, I promise."  His grip on me tightened.

"Please, you're hurting me."  

"I still love you, you know.  We could pick up where fate left off.  Start a family…  We were happy once, and I know that we could be that way again."

"Remus, you aren't thinking clearly."  

"I am.  I assure you.  After all that I heard yesterday, I still love you enough to turn my entire world upside down for you."  He lifted my left sleeve, confirming his suspicions.  "People can change…  Whatever made you do this…" He pointed to my mark.  "You aren't like that anymore.  I don't care that the baby wasn't mine."  His eyes filled with tears.  "I would have still loved it as my own."  He placed a hand on my tummy, checking to see if another one was there.  "I'm forty-two years old, Milah.  I'm not getting any younger."  His hand traveled to my hip  "You're the only woman who found out what I am, and didn't run.  Please, give us a chance; give me a chance…"  He placed his index finger on my heart.  "Let me in here again.  I can make you happy."  He fingered the chain that I wore around my neck.  He pulled it from beneath my nightdress to see what was on it.  "That is a beautiful Star.  Where did you get it?" 

"What, this old thing?  The Elvish jeweller that I worked for made it for me for Chanukah about ten years ago."

"The emeralds are a perfect Slytherin green…"  He looked at the other thing that hung from my chain.  "Your ring…  You still have it!"  He brightened considerably.

"I guess so…"  I hadn't realized that it was there.  Like my Star of David, the engagement ring that he bought me all those years ago had become a part of me.  It was very simple and plain.  I didn't want anything extraordinary.  A single square diamond solitaire supported by a white gold band.  I didn't even notice them anymore.  "I really need to get ready, Remus…"  He let go this time.  

"So, will you?"  His weak frame stood.

"What?"  I proceeded to gather the robes that I would wear for the day.  He placed his arms around my body, like he used to do.  He grabbed my hand, twirled me, and I landed easily in his arms.  

"You remember teaching me that?  You taught me to dance and I taught you to speak…"  He salsa danced with me, and I swear, I never felt so safe in my life.  

"Will I what?"  I asked again.  Our bodies touched as he bent me backwards for a difficult dip.  

"Will you let me in your life again?  Can we pick up where we left off?"  He raised me to a standing position and gathered up the clothes that I had dropped.

"I don't know Remus.  I'm all messed up inside.  Why would you want me?"  

He wrapped his arms around my waist, yet again.  "I used to ask myself that exact question every morning, but then, you made me realize just how lucky I was to be loved by you.  I stopped questioning your feelings because I was afraid that one day, you would grow tired of having a wolf in your bed.  I realized that the little things that you did were ways of showing your feelings.  Last night you put yourself in a very unstable position.  You didn't have to let me stay with you, but you did because I was scared."  We were both facing the open window, and the scenery was just beautiful.  A fine September morning.  "I didn't know what to feel last night."  His chin rested on my neck.  "You read to me, and you let me in last night.  What about forever Milah.  Marry me…  I love you, Milah."  His voice trailed off and he left sizzling kisses down my neck.

"Remus please…"  I was succumbing to him, and we both knew it.   "You are asking for forever, and I can't promise myself today.  I'm crazy inside.  That's why I left…"  I dropped the clothes in my hands- again, and I turned to face him.  He looked so tired and weak as I placed my hands on his chest.  I stroked his hair.  "I'm not ready.  I have to have something in order to give it to you, and I just don't have it.  I don't have _me.  _I don't know who I am…  As much as I'd love to be with you, it won't work unless I know who I am, and what I want."

"I'll see you…  Thank you for staying with me, Milah."  He left me alone with my thoughts. 

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

Leaving was the hardest thing that I had ever done.  He would stay at the house and keep it up for me, while I fought in a war that was not my own.  Who's side would I fight on?  I didn't even know…  Whatever side I picked, I knew that I'd kill someone that I knew.  War was never good.

"The Knight Bus is here."  Remus was in terrible shape.  

"I'll be fine, Remus.  I won't let them get the best of me."

"What about the wedding?"

"It'll still be here when I get back…  I'm not going to be gone for that long."

"I have got this feeling that you'll be gone longer than we both think."  He put his hand on my cheek.  "You don't have to go, you know."

"You worry too much.  Keep that up and you'll look old like me."  He laughed weakly at my statement.

"But you aren't old, you're only twenty six."  He was openly crying now.  "I love you…"

"I love you too."  The door to the bus closed, and Remus waved until the bus disappeared."

*****(_present day)_*****

In the passing weeks, anxiety between Remus, Severus, and myself continued to grow.  Finally one morning, I simply got sick of it.  I wandered down to Severus' private sleeping quarters, charmed the door open, and threw back his curtains.  "Get up dammit!"  I was furious, "Get up Severus!"  

"What's your problem?"  He looked absolutely murderous.  "Close those curtains…  I _hate_ sunlight."

"You.  You're my problem.  Get up; get dressed"  I threw his robes at his head.

"But…"

"No buts…  Get your ass out of bed."  Finally, he rose to get dressed.  

"You're gorgeous when you're angry.  I'm sorry that I never saw you at work…"  

"Shut up.  Let's go."  

"Where are we going, Milah?"

"Get Lupin…"  I saw a grotesque sneer appear on his face at the thought of Remus getting the same wakeup that he did.

Once again I charmed the door open, threw back his curtains, and tore the covers off the bed.  "Get up Lupin.  Now!"  

He sat up quite quickly, and upon seeing me he said, "What's the matter?  Are you okay?"  I felt bad getting him up once I saw him.  The full moon was coming, and he looked haggard.  He was rubbing his face.

"No, I am most certainly _not_ okay.  I can't take the tension between us.  It's eating away at my insides!"

"But Milah, there is no tension between us.  You know how I feel about you…"  He eyes were mere slits.  He looked unhappy and sick.

"Oh, but there is."  I turned around sharply. "Severus, get in here.  Shut the door."  I stared daggers at both of them, "We're all adults here…  Why can't the two of you conduct yourselves accordingly?"

"Close the curtains…  I can't stand the light."  

"I wouldn't play with her, Severus.  She really looks mad, and I don't have the energy to fight.  Really, what's got you all in a huff?"

"The two of you won't cut it!  That's the whole issue here…  I'm not ready to be with anyone other than myself.  I've been here for nearly eight weeks, and I've had nothing but hostility between the two of you because you're both vying for my affections!"  My head was about to explode.  "If you don't fix this…  I don't know what I'll-  _ah-_"  An ear splitting pain shot through my entire body, and I collapsed again.

"It's Gurth."  I heard Severus say, "Lupin, go get Albus.  I'll move her on the bed."  His hand felt my head, "Mobilicorpus!  You're going to be fine.  I have a _lovely_ potion already made up for you…"  I just knew that something unpleasant was in it, but at that point, I didn't care.  My head was spinning, I couldn't tell reality from dream.  Blackness ensued.  

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

"Good luck James!"  Lily screamed from the stands.  They were all screaming encouraging words to the Gryffindor team.  I was used to the odd stares by now.  The only green robes in an all red stand…  Nobody called me names, or anything.  This particular game was Slytherin vs. Gryffindor, and Madame Hootch, the new flight instructor, had just let the quaffle fly.  

"Oh, hey everyone!  Milah is here!"  Peter said.  Lily brightened, quite proud of herself for setting Remus and myself up for the Halloween Ball on Friday.  

Remus whipped around and said, "Where've you been?"

"Oh, you know…  Had to visit my team since I didn't feel well enough to play."  I was quite tired.  

"That means that Gryffindor is assured an easy win."  Sirius appeared out of nowhere, as he always seemed to.

"Not a chance."  I said with an evil grin.  "I'm afraid our beaters are more than a match for the rest of your team…"

"What?  Are you talking about that greasy git Snape, and his little boy toy Flint?"  His face turned red.  "You're a filthy Slytherin like the rest of their lot."  He turned to his friends, "I don't know how you can let _that,_"  pointing his finger at me "defile _our_ stands."  

"Calm yourself, Sirius."  A healthy looking Remus stood between myself and Sirius.  "She could bloody you up bad, before you even saw it coming.  Fights like a man, this one…"  He used his thumb to point at me behind him.

"Bring it on, Slytherin _bitch_!"  He whipped off his cloak like he was some big-shot karate master.

Remus was right, he didn't know what hit him.  I easily pushed Remus out of harm's way because he was light as a feather.  Like a cat, I leapt up two rows of benches while whipping out my wand.  I grabbed him by his collar and flung him down on the cement.  All those years of misery paid off...  The fight was over in seconds.  I put my knee in his groin and said, "It would serve you well to keep your comments to yourself.  I bear no ill will towards you, Sirius Black.  I promise that next time, you won't make it out breathing."  I stood up, dusted myself off, and left the Gryffindor stands.

Someone grabbed my arm, "Milah, please don't leave on his account.  He can be a pig sometimes."

"I really should be back on my own turf, Lily.  I'm not a Gryffindor, and I shouldn't be sitting where I'm not wanted."  

Remus grabbed my shoulders, "I don't want you to go…"

"You're looking well today."  He smiled at my noticing.

"Thank you, I'm feeling great today.  At least I _was_, until Sirius decided to play _retarded_."  It was funny, and I laughed.

"Send her back where she belongs…"  Sirius screamed from where Peter was trying to help him with the cuts and bruises on his body.  "You don't need a whore like that, Mooney.  We'll find you a decent girl…"

"You've gone _too_ far, Sirius."  He yelled.  Lily walked over to him and gave him the hardest slap in his life.  "Don't listen to him, _please_…"  It was too late because I left without another word.  I beat the snot out of a sixth year boy that was twice my size, and that was enough.

Thursday night quickly rolled about, and chaos was erupting in the Gryffindor Common Room.  "Lily!"  Remus whined, "but Lily!  I can't dance!"  

She picked her red head up from James' shoulder, and her nose out of a book.  "Remus, you'll be fine.  I promise."  She resumed reading.

"Stay here, you shouldn't go with _that_ anyway."  Sirius growled.  He was still more than sore about being beaten up by a girl.  Nobody let him hear the end of it.

"Sod off!"  They were not getting along well at all.  Remus stalked out of the common room in a huff.

James and Lily were giving Sirius the cold shoulder, and it was driving him mad.  "Why is everybody so mad with me?"  He looked around helplessly.

"Don't be daft Sirius.  Nobody's mad with you."  It was the first voice to acknowledge his existence in days.  

"Shut up, Peter!"  

James shot in the air, "You had better cut out this mean-streak before nobody speaks to you."  He left the Common Room as well.  It was just Sirius, Peter, and Lily.

"Lily…"  Sirius whined.

"You've got to leave this _alone_, Sirius.  She's a nice girl, even if she is a Slytherin.  Would you be a different person just because you were in a different house?"  

"No."  

"Lay off it then because Remus has got it bad.  He really likes this one.  He doesn't get many girls to like him because he's _different_."  They knew about his secret, but no one else did.  Most girls just assumed that he was weird, and avoided him.  "She's really nice…  Just get to know her…"

His eyes grew wide, "But Lily, you don't understand…  I know her _very_ well.  I saw her snogging in the hall the other day."  

"Right then.  I'm sure that you would have noticed the Gryffindor patch on the guy she was with?"  She tapped her foot impatiently.

"I didn't wait around to see.  It was disgusti-"  His mouth flew open, "But it _wasn't_…  It was Snape!"  

"I'll believe that when I see it…"  She stalked out with Peter on her heels.

"Guys, come back…"  Sirius whined.

*** * 

A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!  
This is my absolute favourite chapter. You see glimpses of the life they had before, and you also see how she became a proficient fighter. Got some Milah action in there. Her battle between good and evil is raging, and it's driving her mad... Oh, and what did you think of the Sirius tension? Should I develop this?  
Also have some Remus love up in here. *wipes sweat off brow* Oh he's hot! It's almost a shame that he- ********!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!! Oh, I'm evil. I know... Can't tell you. I'd be forced to kill you...  
  


Later babes!  
~Milah


	12. Entertaining the Hairy Truth

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

A/N: Remus is allergic to silver, and I'm allergic to lawyers. I have cloves of garlic and shark repellent everywhere to keep them at bay... Stay away! It's not mine, and I'm not making money off of it... Only Milah and the plot is mine... Everything else goes to Rowling the Magnificent! *Douses house with shark repellent and casts protective wards on computer* "Awayus Evillus Lawyerus of Deathus!" Milah cries!  
  
***One comes near me, and he's zapped instantly, like a moth to flames... *a low rolling laugh is heard* "Didn't stand a chance..." Milah murmurs.  
  
Thanks, Kirbee Angel, for leaving me this little present. It's the best thing anyone could have done. I have all sorts of things drawn up... heheheheheh... *Evil Slytherin laugh* Stick with me!  
  
I draw my stories from my actual life. The whole proposal scene actually happened, as did many other not-so-pleasant scenes. I also come from a school in Italy. I speak next to no German, and learning English has proved quite a tough job... *Wipes sweat off brow* Hmm... *thinks about other similarities* I'm an aspiring singer/dancer who served three years in the United States Air Force... I'm also rediscovering myself... Should be an interesting read, and I sincerely hope that you stay with me...  
  
Kind regards,  
  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  
Still in flashback... Night before Halloween ball...  
  
  


**Chapter twelve**

"Milah, it's nearly nine thirty.  The library was supposed to close two and a half hours ago."  I was floating through the isles, trying to find one book in particular.

"Just leave me the keys to lock up.  I'll get them back to you in the morning…"  I stated from the very back.  She thought for quite a bit before agreeing, and told me not to tell anyone about what she did.  "Have a good night!"  I said as I heard her make an exit.  All alone in my favourite room.

"Score!  I found it!"  I undusted the gray book that I had in my hands.  "Werewolves and Wolves:  A comparative study,  By: Moon Cusimano"  Over the past two years, I noticed a recurring pattern in Remus' sickness.  Today I was going to find the truth.  I carefully took the book to a desk and immersed myself in its pages.  I didn't even hear him come in.

He placed his hand on my head.  "What's a nice girl like you, doing in a you doing in a place like this, at such an ungodly hour?"

I quickly hid the book, "Madame Libri said that I could stay.  I'm doing some research for LeStrange…"  

Much to my dismay, he picked up the book.  When he read the title, he dropped it.  "Research on what?"  He croaked.

I decided to openly question him.  "Okay, so I lied."  I began to wring my hands.  "I noticed a pattern in your absences…  I figured it out Remus…  I know what you are."

He flopped on the ground.  "And I won't deny it.  I won't lie to you, Milah.  This is no game.  This is my life.  Students would riot if they knew…  Voldemort is picking werewolves left and right because of their terror.  Villagers are killing them in droves…  You can't say anything."  He buried his face in his hands.  I could see the intense worry, but also the relief that he didn't have to hide from his favourite Italian.

"Does this mean that you won't speak to me anymore?"  I looked into the eyes of my sad English tutor.

"No, we still have English to learn."  He sighed.  "Does this mean that you don't care about what I am?"  He looked hopeful.

"Remus J. Lupin, by knowing that you're a werewolf makes me like you more.  It's easier to relate to you because you didn't have a normal life either."  My eyes were downcast.  "My kind are persecuted against as well."

"You know something about me that could destroy me.  Please don't let it slip."

"I won't Teacher Remus.  I promise."  I stood from my chair.  "We need to leave now."  I grabbed the keys from the front desk to lock the door.

"Milah?"

"Hmm?"  I was busy digging through the mass of keys trying to find the one to lock up.

"I can't dance."  He hung his head down in shame.

I picked my head up sharply, and smiled brightly.  "Good!  There's something that I can teach you then…"  The door made a satisfying click, and I gave a good pull to make sure…  "Well, I should be off to it then."

"Wait.  Let me walk you down…"

"You'd only get lost.  All the corridors look the same…  I'll be fine on my own.  Arrivaderci, Remus."  And like a flash, I was gone.

*****(scene/time change)*****

"G-d Lily…"  James' mouth hung in midair.  "You're positively stunning…"

"You look beautiful Lily."  Remus agreed.

"You aren't going like that are you?"  James inquired

"There's nothing wrong with my dress robes."  Remus looked down defensively

"But they're all shabby…  Borrow mine"  He tossed Remus some Maroon robes.  "There, much better.  You'll knock her out of her socks like that…"  

"Here's hoping."

The Great Hall was filled with students all dressed up in their best robes.  Even the class nerds looked amazing.  "Remus, where's Milah?"

"She said not to wait for her.  We'd be able to easily find her from inside.  But she said that we needed to sit as close to the dance floor as possible..."  He silently prayed that she wasn't ditching him now that she knew the truth.  He wouldn't blame her if she did.  

They stepped inside the great doors and were greeted by many round tables instead of the usual house tables.  The center of the floor was now a place where couples could boogie.  The teacher's dais became the entertainment center.  A juggling skeleton was just finishing his rather amazing act.  Leave it up to Dumbledore to dream up something so cool.

Dumbledore stood up to speak, "Thank you, Mr. Bones.  Fabulous job."  He clapped.  "And now we have a bit of local talent.  For your visual and auditory pleasure-"  He stepped to the side to reveal two beautifully costumed teenagers.  The girl wore a form-fitting emerald green dress with silver accents in all the nicest places.  Her head also bore a sheer black cover.  Her partner wore a skin-tight black suit with a black sequined vest.  "May I introduce Electric Blue, and her partner Louis, who flew in all the way from Italy to perform here tonight." 

The crowd was stunned.  They didn't recognize the lady at all, but she was supposed to be a student.  She was incredible.  Eyes were mesmerized on her as she crossed the now cleared dance floor.  She was not wearing normal robes.  Her bare arms were intensely muscular, and people were surprised to see the sheer power in her presence.  She turned to face her partner.  Very exotic Flamenco music began to sound through the hall.  She curled her arms to cup her face, and all was a blur from there.  The couple moved with the ease and grace of professionals.  He looked old enough to be one.  They seemed to dance for hours.  They did Tango, Salsa, Flamenco, Turkish belly dancing, sword dancing, and she even did one Can-Can number.  The crowd was absolutely delighted.  Just then, the music ended.

"Well now, I'm sure we didn't just come here to watch other people…"  Professor Dumbledore stated.  "She'll be back in a bit to sing for us.  Mille Grazie Electra e Louis."  They bowed deeply, and music played again.

"Where is she?"  Remus had given up hope.  They were sitting close to the center, but hadn't found her yet.  

"Don't worry Remus, she'll be here."  Lily put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"There you are!  I've been looking _everywhere_ for you…" and it was true, I had been.  

Every person at the table gaped with wide mouths.  None wider than Remus, though.  "That was _you?_"

"'Fraid so…  Why?  Was it bad?"  My accent garbled my phrase a bit

"No…  It was the most wonderful thing that I ever saw…"    Remus said with his mouth wide open.

"You can all close your mouths now.  I'm no different from you…"  I was still standing.  I crossed my bare arms with self consciousness.

"Good Lord Milah, sit.  Please."  Remus pulled back a chair for me to sit in.  "Who was that guy you danced with?"  He looked a bit jealous.  "And who's Electric Blue?"

"_I'm_ Electric Blue.  It's the show name that I used to tour Europe when I was an older child."  I looked down at my hands.  

"But you always wear green…"

"Remus…  Have you looked at my eye colour lately?  First words out of my mum's mouth was 'Dear G-d, look at those eyes'."  The whole table stared at me.  Sure enough my eyes were blue.  Blue as the sky on a crystal clear day.  Blue like the ice on the polar caps of the earth...

"Pity I never noticed them before.  What about the tight clothes guy."  He pointed at the man in the corner who was talking animatedly to Professor Dumbledore.

"Oh, Lewie?  Don't worry about him.  He was my partner.  We grew up together and always performed shows together.  After we sing, he'll go back home."

He noticed my eyes fall.  "You miss it, don't you."

"What?"

"Your birth country."

"Sometimes, but I try not to think on it.  England has its good points too."

"Will you dance with me, Teacher Milah?"  I laughed when I heard my nickname for him being reversed on me...

"Si, signore.  I'll dance forever if it please you."

*****_(Present day)_*****

"Milah, I need you to listen to me…  The potion is not working.  You must cooperate.  Try to will yourself out of this.  Fight like you would for the Imperius curse."  Dumbledore pet my hand as Severus told me the news, but my mind was in a thousand places at once.  I was unable to concentrate on anything much less fight it…

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

"I'd like to welcome Electric Blue to the stage.  She'll be providing tonight's entertainment here at Twisted Sisters nightclub."

"Thank you.  Thank you!"  I was smiling and waving at the enthusiastic crowd.  "It's so wonderful to be here tonight, in front of all of you good people.  I've just graduated from school, isn't that exciting?"  I beamed.  The place was packed and all of my old school chums came to see it.  Even Severus…  "My first number will be an old folk legend from my mother country.  It's called Amon Hen."  

"I've heard her sing this one."  Lily commented  "It's beautiful."  

"Everything that comes out of her mouth is beautiful."  Remus said, but he was quite distracted.

"Have you told her how you feel yet?"  James looked at his sickly friend.  "She's obviously special if you ventured out of your home one night before-- you know what…"

"No.  I'm afraid that she'll laugh at me…  No one wants something like me.  She probably only sees me as a friend, anyway."

"You're not a thing, Remus.  You're a man.  You have wants and desires as well.  You have hopes and dreams…  She likes you.  I'm a girl, I know these things…  Tell him, James!"

"Life with someone who loves you is the greatest gift on earth.  You should tell her.  She may feel the same way…"  He kissed his fiancé and directed his attention back to the stage.  "Where's Sirius, by the way?"

"He's still in Auror training.  I'm surprised that Milah made it out as early as she did.  Always was a fast learner."  Remus suddenly drew in his breath.  She had begun to sing.  "What language is she singing in?"

"Elvish."  The entire table snapped around to see who had spoken.  A dark figure was hidden in the dimly lit setting.  Sitting all alone at the bar, with a drink in his hand, was Severus Snape.  

"How would you know?"  Remus stated bitterly.

"I was her best friend and housemate.  I know her lineage, as well as the language.  Which unfortunately, none of you seem to have a clue about any of it…"

I saw the impending fight from the stage.  It troubled me greatly to see my two best friends about to fight.  Only two more songs to go…  I'd never tell them that they put a damper on my first night.  Thankfully, Sirius arrived, saving the day.  He asked Remus a question and he answered something.  All eyes were back on me.  Just the way I wanted them to be…

*****(_present day)_*****

"Fight it, Milah.  You have to fight!"  Remus was holding my hand.  

"How did she come out of it last time?"  Dumbledore asked.

"Her arm hurt." Remus stated without moving.

"Oh."  He looked to Severus, who nodded meaning _'he knows'_.  "Then I'll lift this to see what things look like under here."  He lifted my long sleeved black robe to check out my mark.  It didn't hurt.  I didn't even know that I had a body.  All things seemed to just disappear.  I was only my memories.

*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~

He rehearsed over and over in his mind what he would say.  "Milah, you have been the driving force in my life for many years.  You were my good friend all through school.  I would like to take our friendship to the next level..."  '_dork'_ he thought bitterly, '_she'll never want a monster like you_.'

"Are you ready, Remus?"  I walked into the living room of my new house.

"As ready as I'll ever be.  Are you nervous?"  

"No...  Yes...  Maybe..."  I put my wand in my sleeve

"Milah?"  

"Hmm?"  I was looking in the mirror, checking to see if my makeup was perfect.  

"Milah?"

"Que, dolce mio?"  (_For all you non-Italian speaking folks:  What, my sweet_?)  I never turned from the mirror.  He stepped behind me.

"You look fantastic.  Don't worry about what that mirror says..."  He smiled.  

"You look nervous, and I'm the one going under the gun..."  I grinned still looking at myself in the mirror.  He whirled me around.  "You're full of energy, all thing considered..."  I looked up at him and said,  "You're much taller than your friend, you know..."  He grinned.

"It's hard _not_ to be taller than you, Milah!"  He shuffled his feet.  

I cocked my head to the side, "Sta bueno?"  _(Are you okay?)_

"Ummm...  Well...  We've been friends for a long while, right?"

"Nearly five years, Remus.  Why?"  I didn't see what he was getting at, but it didn't appear to be good because his facial expression was so worn.

He held my forearms, whether it was to steady me or himself, I do not know.  "Well, I wanted to...  tell you..."  _'Come on Remus, don't be a git..._  _You can do it_,' he thought to himself.  '_The worse thing she can do is turn you down..._'  I was quite beside myself, trying to figure out what he couldn't tell me.  "I wanted to know, if you wanted to maybe...  I don't know...  Take things to the next level, maybe, if you wanted to...  Ummm..."

I was stunned.  Here I am, waiting for him to tell me that he had an incurable disease (besides the lycanthropic issue), and he asks this!  "Ai..."  I put my hand to my head, "We'll talk in a bit, Remus...  I'm going to be late..."  My head was spinning.

_'Way to go Moony...  Now you screwed up your only friendship with an available female...  Smooth move, she hates you now.' _ That was Remus' final thought as he felt her hug him close for apparation. 

*****_(Present Day)_*****

"She's not fighting, Headmaster."  Severus spoke, looking down at his patient.  "Milah, you have to listen to me...  Perhaps you can invoke the magic of your people to protect you.  I'm simply grasping at straws here.  They have changed my own method since I left Voldemort's inner circle.  A mere potion cannot cure you..."  He wiped the sweat off my brow.  "Maybe our people can help..."  Severus met Albus' gaze, Remus looking quite puzzled.  "What do you think headmaster?"

"I certainly think that it's worth a try, but do you remember the incantation?"  

"How are muggle Italians going to help her?"  Remus was truly confused.

"Shut up Lupin, as I told you before, you know nothing of her lineage..."  Severus snapped at Lupin.  "I remember, professor."   He drew himself to full height, raised his left hand in the air, stretched his right arm across my weak body, and began to chant with my old Headmaster.

"A Elbereth Gilthoniel, silivren penna míriel o menel aglar elenath!  Na-chaered palan-díriel o galadhremmin ennorath, Fanuilos, le linnathon nef aear, sí nef aearon!  A Elbereth Gilthoniel o menel palan-diriel, le nallon sí di-nguruthos! A tiro nin, Fanuilos!"  Repeatedly they chanted, but it didn't seem to be working.  I was lost to darkness again.

*~*~*~*~*~ (F/B) *~*~*~*~*

We arrived at the large concert arena just in time.  I was wearing that familiar green dress that Remus had seen at the Halloween Ball back when we were in school.  I was opening for a world renowned wizarding band called the Flying Mops.  A stage manager walked up to me, "You're on in five.  Get him out of here."  He pointed at Remus, and I told him where his seat was.

"Come back up in ten, okay?"  I looked him in his tired eyes.  "Brighten up, amico.  We are going to talk later..."  I gave him a suggestive wink that caused his entire body to shiver.  "Apparently you aren't used to that?"

He was laughing.  "No...  I had better get to my seat."  He hugged me.  "Good luck, Milah, but don't break a leg..."  I watched as he disappeared, and listened as they gave Electric Blue a formal introduction.  

I stepped out singing, and the show began...

"_Electric blue eyes, where did you come from_?" I raise my arms in the air  _"Electric blue eyes, who sent you_?"  I shrugged my shoulders with question.  "_Electric blue eyes, always be near me.  Electric blue eyes I need you!"_  I spun in a circle and brought my raised arms down to cover my heart.  I chanted for a bit...  It went perfectly with the music.

_"Domine, domine deus..."  _Remus was watching me.  I could feel his gaze.  "G-d, she's beautiful."  'Why does she look and sound so sad?' He thought to himself.  "Yeah, she's hot."  The guy next to him yelled.  "I'm going to see if I can't sneak down to her chamber later..." "You most certainly will not!"  My tired friend spoke quite boldly to the older man. What's your problem, buddy?  Are you her keeper or somethin''" "As a matter of fact, I am..."  Remus shot a warning glance at the man, who suddenly drew himself to full height. "What are you going to do about it?"  "It's time for me to fetch my _wife_...  I don't need to do anything, with _you_ that is...  Good evening sir."  Remus left the angry man where he was, and returned to the side of the stage to wait for me. _"Domine, aduiva me...  Domine, domine deus...  Domine adiu, aduiva me..."_  People were clapping and screaming, just for me.  This show was going so well... _"If you should go, you should know I love you..."  _I brought my arms around myself to hug myself, and noticed Remus at stage left.  I gave him a meaningful smile.  We were going to have quite a conversation later...  "_If you should go, you should know I am here...  Always be near me, guardian angel...  Always be near me, there's no fear..."  _As I finished my song I walked off the stage.  Remus was speechless.  I helped him out a bit though.  "Let's go back to my place.  I haven't eaten in _ages...  _I'm starved!" He laughed nervously.  "Fine with me.  I'm not too heartbroken about missing them perform."  He pointed to the band who was now screaming and jumping about on the stage.  He held me as we apparated back to my home.  "Would you prefer your meat cooked, or shall I simply place it in a bowl for you?"  I asked with a menacing gleam in my eye.  "I'm just not sure..."  He teased as he hung our cloaks on the coat rack by the door.  "Medium-rare seems like a nice compromise."  He heard me clanking around the kitchen.  '_Maybe she forgot all about it.  I can't believe that I told her...  Stupid, stupid Remus..._'  Just then, he saw me standing in the doorway, appraising him. "Voglio parliamo"  "I speak English, Milah." "I want for us to talk about this."  I said abstractly. _'Oh, no!  Here goes everything'_  "So you did hear me?"  He looked down at his feet.  Remus was quite nervous. I crossed the room to sit in one of my chairs, motioning for him to sit beside me.  "I'm an Auror.  Anything that anyone says to me is filed away until I need it."  The Slytherin part of me loved watching him squirm.  I won't play for too long...  I feigned sadness, and even let a sigh escape.  "I'm sorry, Milah.  Did I overstep my boundaries?"  He was gazing at the floor. "Of course not, Remus.  You only told me how you felt, which is more than I could have asked for.  It was pure, unedited truth..."  I buried my face in my hands in mock frustration.  Poor guy...  "But Remus...  I'm sorry that I-"  He cut me off. "It's okay, Milah.  I only wanted you to know...  I never expected you to love a _monster_ like me..."  He let a tear drop from his cheek. I couldn't stand it anymore.  I stood from my chair, crossed the room, took his hand, and said, "You are _not_ a monster...  Now, let me finish."  He wouldn't look me in the eyes, so I reached up and pulled his chin to face me.  "What I was saying, Remus J. Lupin, was that I was sorry to inform you that however long you've had feelings for me, I've had them twelve times as long..."  It was his turn to be stunned.  "I...  don't know what to say.  Oh, my G-d!"  It must have just hit him...  "Really!?!"  He was positively glowing.  I'd never seen him so happy.  He looked down at me, "It's nice when you're in love with your best friend."  He took his hands and wrapped them around my waist.  He pulled me oh so close, closer than we had ever been before, then began to rub the small of my back.  "And you are my best friend..."  Now standing, he loomed over me, just inches from me now. "What about James?  Peter?  Lily?  Sirius?" "I can't do this with them..."  History was made that night.  I'm sure that everyone heard the giggling coming from my living room floor.  I'm sure everyone heard the smoke ward go off...  We were so busy that I forgot about the meat in the oven!  All in all, it was a very good night... 

*** * 

A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. If you have any ideas, please let me know... I know where I have set for things to go, but I can incorporate anyone else's ideas (I'll credit you, of course) in too! Later babe!  
  
*Wipes sweat off of brow* I have quite a bit of crediting to do...  
  
For all you non Elvish buffs, the translation for Severus' incantation is: O Elbereth Star-kindler (white) glittering slants down sparkling like jewels from [the] firmament [the] glory [of] the star-host! To-remote distance far-having gazed from [the] tree-tangled middle-lands, Fanuilos, to thee I will chant on this side of ocean, here on this side of the Great Ocean! O Elbereth Starkindler from firmanent gazing afar, to thee I cry here beneath death-horror! O look towards me, Everwhite!  
  
This is an actual hymn that has been translated into Sindarin, the noble tongue. I've just given a major hint as to where this plot is going... *wink* And a hint as to why she spent so many years in the moorlands...  
  
I must credit Mr. Tolkien for his brilliant elvish, and all his other accomplishments. Without him, I would truly be lost.  
  
I must also credit the Cranberries for their song, "Electric Blue". It has been quite an inspiration.  
  
Oh, and I can't forget Moon Cusimano. She is a real, Italian girl that I knew from my early childhood. I'll bring that in later on in the story. I won't know her in the story. She's just an author, here, but she was very influential to me back in Maiori... Thank you for my life, Moon...  
  
~Milah


	13. Help us, O Elbereth

A/N: I own absolutely nothing, except for Milah, and the plot... Lawyers beware...  
  
***One comes near me, and he's zapped instantly, like a moth to flames... *a low rolling laugh is heard*  
  
It's time for me to thank all of my reviews... Thanks again to Kirbee Angel.  
  
And as for Mystique, and Hinote: Welcome to the madness that is me... *bows* May you have as much fun reading as I do creating! I wish you could hear me laugh as I think of new kinks to throw in my own life... I'm having an absolute ball writing this!! *grins*  
  
I'm going to be making some internal changes, due to Mystique's request that I better illustrate flips in time... Know that my postings may be a bit separated, but after next week, all will be back to normal... I'll be through with classes! *skips*  
  
Kind regards,  
  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  
In the present... * ** *  
  
****************************************************************  
  
I could still hear them chanting in the room, and I was vaguely aware of my surroundings. I felt two hands on my body. One, old and frail, was on my forehead. The other, strong-willed and determined, was placed on my stomach. My body was so numb... Had someone plunged a knife into my arm, I may not have felt it. I heard the singing...  
  
(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
(A/N): See the new flashback notation? How's that?  
  
He crossed the bedroom to look at the book that I was reading. "What are you up to, Milah?" Suddenly a sharp pain shot through my arm. I was being summoned...  
  
I tried to control my outburst in front of Remus, he couldn't find out, but it was no use. "Jesus Christ!" I instinctively clutched at my arm.  
  
Remus looked perplexed, "What? What's wrong?" He grabbed my shoulders and looked at me.  
  
"I just remembered that I-" think on your feet, Milah... On your feet... "forgot some very important Ministry forms at the office. I have to fetch them now before Fudge has a stroke." It seemed believable at the time.  
  
"This is your third spell of forgetfulness this week." He eyed me suspiciously. "It all makes sense now..." His eyes bulged. "The nighttime disappearances, the lame excuses, the lies..." He was ticking them off on his fingers. "All of it makes sense! Why didn't I see it before? Dammit Lupin, you're just stupid..." He hit himself in the head.  
  
"What are you talking about?" I was terrified. Had he truly figured me out?  
  
"You're having an affair, aren't you?? You're sleeping with Snape!" His voice penetrated my entire house. He was infuriated, and I don't think that I've ever seen him so upset. "I'm not good enough for you, am I?" He suddenly dropped his voice, and I could tell that he was holding back tears.  
  
"No, I'm not sleeping with Severus..." I assure you, I wasn't. That stopped long ago. I placed a comforting hand on his cheek. I knew that I had to go now, or suffer the dire consequences. "Truth is, Remus... I have been working on a top secret mission. Really, I can't tell you about it, you just have to work with me. I've been on this assignment for a while now, and I don't need you to compromise my safety. I must go." With a pop, I was gone. It seemed to make sense, right?  
  
"You're late, Agent Merverosa. I trust your excuse is good?" His foul breath nearly knocked me off my feet.  
  
"I am sorry, My Lord." I kneeled down on the ground, not realizing that I had apparated into the middle of the Death Eater's circle. This could only mean one thing... I was being singled out, and questioned. My loyalty would again be tested that very night.  
  
I picked up my head to evaluate the situation. My mind was reeling at an incredible pace. The approximate distance of each person, and anticipating their first attack. I was developing a form of triage. The most serious threats would be dealt with first... Malfoy was by far the most dangerous, other than Voldemort himself. Old Voldie never got his hands dirty when others could do it for him, so he was of little concern. All calculations took only seconds to go through my highly trained mind. Suddenly I was shocked out of my thoughts.  
  
"Your excuse, Merverosa. Do not waste my time with insolence." He spat at me.  
  
"I had a bit of trouble with my robes, sir. When I pulled them out of my closet, they became tangled..." Shit. I'm in trouble. My eyes scanned the crowd for Severus. Where was he?  
  
"That's not a good enough excuse, I'm afraid." He gently fingered his long wand with his corpse-like fingers. "You'll have to prove your loyalty, you know this..." A grim smile spread across his face, "and I know just how to do it." He turned to look at two burly men. "Crabbe, Goyle, bring him here."  
  
There was a lump on the ground, just a mass of robes. "Oh my G-d!" I looked at my dear friend lying, soaked in his own blood, on the ground. "Severus..."  
  
"Here's your challenge, should you be willing to accept it. Two nights from now, we are planning a 'raid' of sorts... You will participate... If you don't," His sinister smile appeared again as he kicked my unconscious friend in his head, "Your friend gets it..."  
  
"As you wish, Oh Exalted One." I bowed deeply. He had me cornered, what could I do?  
  
"Oh, and Milah..." He placed his hand on my shoulder. It was like touching death. "I would appreciate if you would stay out of the spotlight. It isn't good for a person of your magnitude to be so-" he paused dramatically "vocal... You will have no more appearances on stage. Is that understood?" He violently grabbed my face with his right hand, and was squeezing me so hard, I thought that my skull would crack at any moment.  
  
"Yes My Lord..." He pushed me away with a terrific force, knocking me in a heap, next to an unconscious Severus.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
"She's coming to!" Remus cried. "She's waking..." He reached out to touch me when I heard Severus snarl.  
  
"Don't touch her, Lupin." He immediately went back to invoking the Elvish Protection Spell. The room went intensely bright, and I could feel heat emanating from something on my left. Severus stopped chanting, and I could hear him speaking in my language of Sindarin. "Elbereth, your child suffers at the hands of a powerful dark wizard. Please give me direction on how to ease her suffering."  
  
"Never in a thousand years did I expect to see you again, Mr. Snape." The spirit said in her silvery tone. She was obviously amused. "What can I do for you?"  
  
"The last of your bloodline is being slowly destroyed." He gestured towards me. "Please show me how to best protect her from further evil, My Lady."  
  
As bright as she had been at first, she immediately dimmed at the sight of me. "Oh dear, this is dark magic indeed." She passed her slender fingers over my body. I could feel her going through my body and my mind, picking me apart. "Gurth is very difficult to cure, Mr. Snape." She looked grave indeed.  
  
"I'm aware of this. Please help me heal her. We need her here."  
  
She seemed to inwardly begin to glow. "She has a great decision to make." Her hands were still hovering over my body. "Once she makes this internal decision, she will truly be freed. For now, the only help that I can give you is this." She handed Severus a tiny vial filled with an amber liquid. "One drop should do it. Use this sparingly, as it could further damage her." She closed his fingers around the vial and looked into his eyes. "This crisis that she fights is her own. It involves you and another like you, but you can not make her decision. This will permanently change her life. When she stirs, leave her..." Her eyes lifted to the Werewolf in the corner. "You are not elf-kind." It was not a question, but a statement.  
  
"No My Lady, I'm afraid not." He was stunned that she spoke English. She had been speaking to Severus, all this time, in a language that he did not understand.  
  
"You are the other half of her battle." She walked to his corner, and spoke barely a whisper, "She still loves you, but her feelings for Severus are strong. They always have been..." She took his hand, "Not many are willing to let our kind into their hearts. The burden that an Elvish heart carries is very heavy. Love her enough to give her the space that she requires. She will need to separate friend from friend in order to decide the better lover." She looked into his deep yellow eyes, "You are quite a stunning man." She whispered and touched his cheek. "She is very lucky to have a man like you."  
  
She walked to Professor Dumbledore's side. "Well, Albus, how have you been?" She placed her hand on his arm. "It has been a while..."  
  
"Far too long, Elbereth. Can you give me a clear cause on Ms. Merverosa's condition." He looked at me through his half moon spectacles.  
  
"Your Sindarin is impeccable, as always. I wonder how you keep up with it." She smiled broadly. "This is an internal job. Without realizing it, she has cursed herself. Her dwelling on the past is causing her to lose herself. This is not Voldemort's doing, it is her own." She looked at her patient. "I remember her as a child. She was brought to me after her parents were murdered. A sad case. Her mother was one of the most beautiful Elves that was in our province..." Severus brushed a stray hair out of my eyes.  
  
(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was cold and the roof leaked. I always hated the rain. Coughs echoed throughout the dark room. All who lived in the small orphanage were underfed and sickly.  
  
"Get up!" yelled the terse woman. She was one of the adult supervisors. Her eyes were always watchful for the tiniest infraction. "Get up; all of you!"  
  
I had lived there for many years, six if I remembered correctly. The large woman with curly blonde hair did not worry me any more. The woman was not a native Italian. Her name was Helga, and she spoke with a very thick Dutch accent.  
  
"If the lot of you don't get up, I'll triple your workload, and you'll have no dinner!" Many were too sick and weak with hunger to rise. One girl had died during the night.  
  
"Pneumonia, I guess." I spoke to the small child next to me. "It's sad, really. Maria never stood a chance. She was so small and weak." Helga grabbed the corners of the sheet to make a sort of bag. She dragged the lifeless body out of the room as if it were no more than a sack of potatoes. She shouted, "This is what happens to idle children. Lazy kids are punished. Remember that as you do your chores today!"  
  
I was always in and out of trouble. I made a habit of stealing food for the younger children, and had just turned eleven one week ago. I have long, black hair that fell in ringlets. My eyes, a piercing blue, were bursting with life. I liked to think that my eyes were my distinguishing feature. I was not overly thin, but my body always ached with hunger. I had long, graceful arms, but was of a modest height.  
  
I loved animals, and could often be seen talking to the creatures that happened to pass me by. I had a deep appreciation for nature, and felt at home when I was among trees. I had always felt that I was different.  
  
My parents had died when I was five. They were good people. One memory of them stood out vividly  
  
Her mother had had a beautiful vanity. Milah remembered sitting there, with her mother, who used to stroke her hair. "Cara mia" she would say, "you are my most precious possession."  
  
Many things were on her vanity, but the one object that interested Milah most had been a small vial. It always looked empty to Milah, but her mother had always insisted that it had been full of an important substance. Her mother Never said anything other than that.  
  
I knew that my parents had loved mw. They had also been wealthy. My mother had been finely dressed in a teal robe. I was told that my parents had been brutally murdered, and with no body to care for me, I went to an orphanage. I knew that there was no escape from the orphanage until I turned eighteen.  
  
I had lived in Italy all of my life, and had dreams of traveling the world. But for now, it was time to clean. I had an entire ward to scrub by herself. I considered myself lucky because some children were out in the northern Italian mountain breeze. The road had to be swept daily, so that stale bakery goods could be brought in. The older children would take whatever ingredients were in the truck and bake whatever they could.  
  
Bread was a staple in the orphans' diet. It was never very good because they always received the old and moldy products that were not fit to be sold to people. Occasionally, for holidays, they would get a lump of hard cheese or maybe even some rotten fruit. Life was hard for the young orphans. Sickness and death was a normal occurrence. Milah had been hardened, and took it upon herself to help the other, younger children.  
  
Perhaps a week after the death of their friend Maria two more children died, this time of some kind of sickness. Helga never sent for a doctor, she didn't seem to care. I thought about normal kids a lot. Normal kids would start school in two weeks. Those kids don't have to deal with death.  
  
Within five days the sickness had reached every corner of the orphanage. Helga said that Typhus was the culprit. Healthy children were quarantined in one tiny room. They did not even leave to do chores. No one came to visit them, or even to check to see if anyone had fallen ill. They had lived without food and drink for a week. Many young children had died of starvation. I was very weak, and barely had the strength to speak.  
  
(Scene change, still F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
She glided down the street gracefully as her long robes flowed. People stared at her curiously as she walked by at a brisk pace. She was dressed peculiarly.  
  
She started to pass a bakery, but stopped to buy some pasteries. They smelled delicious. She had been given strict orders to collect the girl from the orphanage, before she too, could be consumed by typhus. The young woman had travelled a long way. Ordinarily, she would have just apparated, or simply appearing where one needs to be, but she was so entranced by the countryside that she decided to walk.  
  
The people were very friendly. She asked directions as best she could, and began to become nervous as she walked through the seedier parts of town. There was no more beauty to her surroundings. Fear seemed to consume all. At Last she saw it. La casa de giovene lay directly in front of her. She had but a few more strides to go...  
  
The stench was awful. It burned her nostrils the instant that she drew near the gates. It was a smell unlike any that young Lauralie had ever smelled before. She held a handkerchief to her nose as she opened the gates and stepped in. She was certain that things could not be half as bad as they seemed.  
  
The unoiled black wrought iron gate creaked open. Snowy-slush was piled everywhere, though there had been no snow for one month. The entire orphanage looked as if it could topple over with one good wind.  
  
People actually live here? She thought to herself. She crossed the lawn easy enough, and she lifted the heavy brass knocker on the door.  
  
Only moments later a robust woman with blonde hair opened the door, "Vhat do you vant?" She looked a bit cross to have to actually open the door.  
  
"I have come for a child."  
  
"A live one?"  
  
This seemed like a rather odd question to be asking, but she dismissed it. "Of course I want a live one."  
  
"Well, most of the children here are dead. You have come to the wrong place."  
  
"I have been sent all the way from England for a girl named" she opened up an official looking roll of parchment and handed it to Helga to see "Milah Luciana Merverosa. As of yesterday she was still alive."  
  
"My name is Helga. Step inside if you dare. Zhe children here very sick wis zhe typhus. Milah not have it yet. She with zhe healfy ones."  
  
Lauralie breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped into what seemed to be a mausoleum.  
  
Children were lying everywhere. Some were living and some were not. Sickly children were piling the bodies of the dead into wheel barrows to dump outside. They walked down into a dark, cold, and damp basement. "You vant tea?"  
  
"No. I have strict orders from my superiors to collect the child and be off."  
  
"Vhy you vant zis child so bad? Nothing but trouble, zhat one."  
  
"I only follow orders." the young woman said. She looked very stern and care worn. No person should live in these horrid conditions. It simply was not humane.  
  
"I give you zhe child." Helga said looking rather upset. "under one condition. You must promise to say nothing of vhat goes on in zis place. Vhe are simply hitting a rough patch. Do we have a deal?"  
  
Lauralie's mind raced. She was unprepared for this. She wanted the world to know about the conditions that these children were living in. Her only orders, however, had been to collect the child as quickly as possible. "Yes, Signorina Helga, I do believe that we have a deal. Bring the child to me."  
  
Helga left the basement to retrieve Milah from the quarrentine room.  
  
(Scene change still (F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The air was stifling. Death was everywhere. Of the fifty girls that entered the room, only twenty-eight remained alive. Most would die by tomorrow. They had not eaten or drank in three weeks.  
  
I was barely alive, and lay weakly on the floor. I had given up almost all hope that I would survive. I was not afraid to die.  
  
A girl cried in pain. Another died.  
  
There was a creaking noise on the stairs. Someone was coming. All of the girls became suddenly silent. Straining to hear if someone was going to open the door. A key turned in the lock. The knob turned. Oh no, it was Helga. Panic flowed through the room. Would she sentence more to die? Helga opened her mouth to speak...  
  
"Milah Luciana Merverosa. Step forward."  
  
I could hardly more. I did not know what was going on, but mustered every bit of strength I could to move out of my resting place.  
  
"You take zhis long and I just say zhat you died."  
  
Had Helga lost her mind? What was she talking about, I thought. My entire body lurched as I struggled to move forward. I could still walk, but only just barely. "What's going on?"  
  
"You are not my problem anymore. Now go into zhe basement and let yourselves out."  
  
I took one last look at the girls in the room and tottered out of the room.  
  
They had been the first steps I had taken in weeks, but somehow, my strength returned. Sheer curiosity served as a motive for moving. Someone had come for me. Someone knew about me. Someone cared for her enough to take me away from this mess. I proceeded down the stairs, and slipped on the way down. My strength was failing again.  
  
"Dear child!" Lauralie cried. She rushed over to me, "Are you okay?"  
  
"Please, who are you? What do you want with me?"  
  
"I have orders to remove you from here so you can begin your new life. Here now, take this, and we must quickly leave. We must leave soon."  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"All of your questions will soon be answered. Can you walk? Good. Let's go."  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
"Lauralie brought her to me, and I knew that something had to be done. I was unaware of the squalid conditions she was living in." She touched my forehead. "I must be going. Remember what I have told each of you... Take my advice to heart, as it is the best you will receive." She touched Severus' shoulder. "I am not my father. I welcome your return whenever you are ready. Milah was happy with us, and she stayed for a long time." She directed her attention to Remus. "You are welcome to live among us as well, werewolf. You would be an interesting addition to our close-knit community..." She smiled at him, making Remus blush. "Only a drop, Severus. Remember that you can make things worse..." The singing began again, and she disappeared.  
  
* ** * A/N: A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. If you have any ideas, please let me know... I know where I have set for things to go, but I can incorporate anyone else's ideas (I'll credit you, of course) in too! Later babe!  
  
*Wipes sweat off of brow* I have quite a bit of crediting to do...  
  
I must credit Mr. Tolkien for his brilliant elvish, and all his other accomplishments. Without him, I would truly be lost.  
  
This chapter was very dark, and I apologize. I didn't have a pleasant childhood, and have difficulty writing about one. Things pick up after I wake up, I promise! All kinds of goodies happen soon... *Evil laugh erupts* Yeah, I have some really good plans coming up... Heh heh heh... Will she wake? What will Remus do now that he knows how she feels? What will Severus do, and how much elvish blood is in him? Why is he such an ugly elf? He's ugly to you, maybe, but to me he's a sexpot! It's October, meaning the Halloween Ball is fast approaching...  
  
Well, I just gave you all kinds of goodies to look forward to, and I apologize for my lateness. I've been busy with finals and work... Ah, the life of a Prefect...  
  
Oh, and I can't forget Moon Cusimano. She is a real, Italian girl that I knew from my early childhood. She was very influential to me back in Maiori... Thank you for my life, Moon...  
  
Keep reviewing! I love it when people comment... Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! *winks*  
  
~Milah 


	14. Zen and the Magic of Knitting

(A/N) I own nothing! JK deserves the credit!  
  
I am so in the mood for fluff right now, so I'll write some... *Grins sheepishly* Won't be much because I'm in a pretty pissy mood, but enough to show more of Remus and Milah's life. Loads of SS/Milah soon (big big BIG plot hint) *winks* *low rolling laugh is heard* I'm evil, and I know it... *Slytherin grin* Gotta go!!!  
  
Arrivaderla!  
  
~Milah  
  
The room buzzed with exciting conversation. Remus was all confused, and was trying to get a word in between Severus and Albus; for the most part he was unsuccessful. "Severus, do you have enough to test this serum, and try to duplicate it?"  
  
"I'm not sure, Professor. I see that I have very little in this vial, but the benefits of using this for research could far outweigh any other consequences."  
  
"Wait, does that mean that you won't give Milah any?" Remus cried. As weak as he was from the approaching full moon, he was willing to fight a full-grown, ex-Death Eater for me. I was grateful.  
  
"Shut up, Lupin." He spat. "You know nothing of this. I wonder how you were engaged to her for all that time without knowing her at all. I knew of her time serving Voldemort, and it was I who knew about her Elvish lineage. I wonder why she agreed to marry you at all."  
  
Severus struck a nerve. What he said was truly unforgivable, and it wasn't a shock when a terrifically weakened Remus charged toward him and began to throw fast paced punches. "You take that back, you son of a bitch!" Remus barked, making a well aimed strike at Severus' head.  
  
"Stop this at once!" Albus whipped out his wand and separated the two easily. "You're both acting like children! This is just what Lady Elbereth was talking about..." He glared at both of his colleagues, noticing that Severus was virtually unharmed. Poor Remus, on the other hand, was going to develop a terrific bruise on his stomach, and was performing a spell to stop his nose from bleeding. "You are putting your feelings before those of your dear friend, and colleague." He placed a warm hand on my shoulder. "She needs help, and we have to be the one to give it to her. Now Severus, hand me the vial." Albus extended a frail old hand to accept the vial that the potion that could heal me.  
  
Panic flew through Severus' mind. In his scuffle, he forgot what happened to it. How could he be so stupid? He patted his robes in search for it. "It must have fallen." His sharp eyes scanned the room.  
  
All eyes were searching the room. It was like a needle in haystack. They needed to get me out soon because I had class the next day as well as a full-moon to deal with.  
  
(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I've got a bit of a surprise for you..." Remus grinned. We had dated for a year and today was our anniversary. I just knew that he would do something romantic. He was standing behind me as I sat on a kitchen chair filling out papers for my job as an Auror. I felt him put his arms around me, and I smiled at how safe that I felt in his arms. He would not let anything hurt me as long as he lived. Maybe a Slytherin like me didn't deserve him, but I was glad to have such a good man who loved me...  
  
"What is it?" I was positively squealing with excitement.  
  
"Can't tell you." He whispered and I could feel the deviousness radiating off of him. It had to be something big, because he seemed a bit too proud of himself... "But I can show you!" I stood up and looked at him. I was rather confused. How did he plan some large scale anniversary surprise without me knowing? He couldn't keep secrets very well, and I could always tell when he lied because his ears would turn red and his nostrils flared. He also couldn't look me in the eye... "Hold on to me..." We apparated into Diagon Alley.  
  
"What's this all about, Remus?"  
  
"Can't tell you..." He was beside himself. Delirious from his pride in keeping a secret from me for so long, I suppose. He was practically skipping when we made it to an Italian restaurant that I liked. "Dinner for the pretty lady." He bowed as I entered. This was leading up to something, and I knew it... The food was phenomenal, as always, and I asked about our plans next. "Can't tell you..." It was beginning to get irritating because I wanted to know what he was up to!  
  
We entered Flourish and Blotts, telling me to pick any book that I wanted. I had always loved to read, and selected a book called: Zen and the Magic of Knitting. When we arrived at the counter to pay for my books, Mr. Flourish had a mischievous glint in his eyes. Something suspicious was going on, but by now, I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't care about not knowing what our plans were. He paid for the book, and asked me to take the change for him, as he was busy digging in his pockets for something. I extended my hand and felt the weight of the money going into it. I was just going to put it in my pocket, but he said "Mr. Flourish has been getting a bit blind in his old age." He winked at the short bald man standing behind the counter. "Make sure that it's all there."  
  
I opened up my hand to count the few k'nuts and a sickle, and was astonished to see a beautiful emerald ring sparkling in my own hand. "Oh my G-d!" I dropped the book that I was clutching. "Look at the size of this thing!" Tears were streaming down my face. "Remus, you can't afford this!"  
  
"The price was-- right..." He grinned. "Well, do you like it?" He was staring at me. "Say something! Try it on!" He coached. I slipped the white gold over my finger, and I swear, it was the most beautiful thing ever. I never cared for round stones of any kind, but this ring was gorgeous. The green was so bright and clear... I could see the light sparkling through it in all directions.  
  
"I don't know what to say..." I was still crying. "It's beautiful..." I hugged him. "It's from you, so of course I'd love it. I couldn't love anything more." I stood at arms length, "I couldn't imagine a more perfect evening. You're just wonderful..."  
  
He grinned like a pompous old fool, completely shattering our beautiful moment, and said, "I know... I'm just the greatest. People tell me all the time."  
  
"You can be such a pig sometimes..." I groaned. "But I love you anyway..."  
  
He kissed my cheek, "But not nearly as much as I love you, Milah. Happy Anniversary..." He looked thoughtful as we walked out of the bookshop with my new book, and my new ring in tow. Suddenly he stopped walking.  
  
"What's the matter, Remus?"  
  
"It's only that I had this whole romantic speech in my head. I spent weeks translating it into Italian, and I forgot the whole thing..." He looked quite frustrated.  
  
I laughed at him. "Well, you make me just as happy in English as you would in Italian."  
  
"How do you say it then?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"How do you say 'Happy Anniversary!' and 'I love you!' in Italian?"  
  
"Buon Anniversario e Ti amo." I smiled at his sad attempts to pronounce with the accent that I held naturally. We went back and forth until I was satisfied with his pronunciation. "Very good, you're almost as good as me now!"  
  
He was positively beaming... This was a good day...  
  
*********************************************************  
  
The search for the missing vial continued. Albus was furious because they held my cure in their hands and now it was missing. He still had an incapacitated teacher on his hands. "Accio vial!" Remus shouted, but to no avail.  
  
They had been summoning for quite a few hours, when Severus stubbed his toe on my bureau. He was quite frustrated, and blew my bureau up with a spell. Clothes and stuff went all over the room, but the vial also rolled into view...  
  
"I found it!" Remus shouted, "Accio vial!" He cried before it could roll out of sight again. It flew to his hand, and he held it out to Albus.  
  
"Thank you, Remus." He took the vial and opened it. I could feel someone separating my lips to take the mystery potion. It tasted like honey and peppermint. Warmth spread through my limbs and I instantly felt better.  
  
My eyes fluttered open, and I saw three faces hovering over me. They all looked very worried. "Milah, don't try to move very much. You've been out for quite a while. We don't need you fainting again." Severus was telling me. "How coherent were you? Did you hear what she told you?" I didn't really, and I said as much. "My potion didn't work because this is not the Gurth that Voldemort inflicts on torture victims. Apparently, you have dwelled on the past for such a long time that it is affecting your conscious state of mind."  
  
"But, it has to be Voldemort..." I croaked. I felt very weak. Almost as weak as Remus looked. "He has to be causing trouble. Why else would I be called back?"  
  
Albus stepped forward and took his place at an armchair by my side. "I called you back for a very specific reason." He placed his hand on my shoulder. "I knew the conditions that you left under; remember, I saw you that night. You were running away from life, and I wanted you to live." He heaved a heavy sigh. "When Elbereth put you under my care, she wanted you to live and be happy. I knew that you were alone in the moorlands, so I remedied the situation by bringing you here. Your friends are here, Milah." He gestured to the two men sitting on the bed. "Neither one ever judged you by past mistakes, and I knew that you would be happier amongst your friends. So, I requested you to come back. Notice that I never left a clear reason for your return?" He stood, "I'm going to leave you to rest. You have a busy day tomorrow. Classes, and a full moon..." He smiled that irritating 'I know everything' smile, and left the room.  
  
"What now?" Remus asked Severus.  
  
"You are going to leave now, so your sick self can be prepared to give a lesson tomorrow." He gave Remus a murderous stare.  
  
"Well Milah, I'll come by in the morning. Maybe we can have breakfast in here? You know how the moon plagues my appetite, and it's embarrassing to eat in front of the students."  
  
"Fine... Fine, Remus. I'm tired." He came forward, brushed hair out of my face.  
  
"You're still the most beautiful woman that I ever met." He kissed my forehead, and I was surprised to feel the fire that stayed long after his lips departed.  
  
"I could throw up..." Severus spoke with more than a little disdain in his tone.  
  
I smiled at him, "You're just jealous." I didn't really have the strength to carry out a full conversation.  
  
"I doubt it." He stroked my face. "I could have you, if I really wanted to. No one can resist the charm of a Snape."  
  
He was grinning at me. "You're as bad as a child, Sevi..." I reached my hand up, and placed it on his cheek. My touch seemed to startle him. "But I'm sure that you could have me. I couldn't resist you all those years ago, and I am probably no better now." I put my arm down, and realized just how tired that I was.  
  
"Lupin will come to you in the morning. Do you want me to stay the night with you?"  
  
"It's not necessary, but you can if you like..." I was half conscious. "G'night Sevi."  
  
"Good night, my dear Milah."  
  
* ** *  
  
(A/N) It's short, but I'm so in the mood to write another one... Keep in touch! The cauldron is heating up, and I'm about to boil some butt! Be prepared!!!  
  
~Milah 


	15. Of songs and love

(A/N): I must say that I'm having trouble coming up with witty disclaimers. Sheer laziness, I suppose. I own only the plot and Milah. Everything that you recognize belongs to Rowling the Great.  
  
To: Hinote  
  
I absolutely loved your summary... Perhaps I'll use it!  
  
I'm rather partial to the Sexy Slytherin myself, but I can't quite tell you where I've got things going because, quite frankly, I don't know! I haven't chosen between my two guys yet! What I'm trying to say is don't count my sweet werewolf out yet!!! *grins* We'll just have to wait it out and see, now won't we...  
  
That just means that I can put some angst in there... Who will she choose? *scratches head* Oy! decisions decisions! Will he still want her? Hmmm.... *giggles* You guys really should see me write this stuff... I swear, it's hysterical...  
  
Pretty interesting chapter that I've got lined up here... *evil grin* Oh yeah... Well, I won't keep you, but I would like if you reviewed... Review or I'll hex you! *murderous glare* Severus taught me that. *face glows*  
  
ArrivaderLa!  
  
~Milah  
  
* ** *  
  
"It's early still, you should still be asleep." Severus gently spoke.  
  
"I was trying to sleep, but I heard some ugly git banging around my chambers." I was aggravated with him, but amused at the same time. He spent the night sitting in the world's most uncomfortable armchair, just for me... "I forgive you..."  
  
"Lupin will be here momentarily, but as to today's events, I doubt that he will be much company." He sneered.  
  
"Why must you always bring him up, Sevi?" It was a perfectly valid question. The conversation could never just be us. Remus was always brought into it as well.  
  
"It's obvious what has happened." His voice fell. "I see that the two of you have gotten back together. I'm not blind, Milah." He stood to leave. "Who am I to stand in the way?"  
  
"Severus!" I sat up as best I could.  
  
"You shouldn't try to move much."  
  
"Please, don't do this to yourself. There's information that even you don't know."  
  
He made a terrible face. "What? More secrets?" He threw his arms in the air, in resignation, most likely. "I can't take many more secrets!"  
  
"How about just one..." The prospect of telling him my feelings were a little unnerving, but I knew that I had to...  
  
"This had better be good, Milah. Don't waste my time." He gave me a very disdainful glare.  
  
"What if I told you that I might be-" I didn't know what to say "slightly dateless for the Halloween Ball..." Good cover! I secretly patted myself on the back for that one.  
  
"What are you getting at?" He looked most displeased.  
  
"If you wanted to escort me, I wouldn't say no..."  
  
His black eyes bulged out of his head. I surprised him, obviously... "Why would I want to go with you?" He wore a bitter glare. "Lupin didn't want you?"  
  
That stung. "Fine! Be that way. Get out of here, now..." I took my wand from the nightstand. "Get away from me!" Panic spread through me as he continued to draw closer. He unarmed me, tossing my wand on the floor like a toy. "What are you doing?" I whimpered.  
  
"Something that should have been done immediately upon your arrival." He cupped his hands on my face and kissed me fiercely. "I didn't mean what I said." His hands roved over me. I missed him. He was as ferocious as Remus was sweet. I didn't resist him; I had genuine feelings for him, after all. Just then, a knock sounded on the door. "I'm satisfied to think that you chose me over the werewolf. See that you're presentable for the Ball. I'll not go with a slob." He kissed me again. I was absolutely delirious.  
  
"You stayed here all night?" Remus looked terrible. A house elf was carrying two breakfast trays, one considerably larger than the other one. He was upset by Severus' presence. "You shouldn't have."  
  
"She's your problem now, Lupin." His cape made a rushing sound as he stalked out the door.  
  
"That's an evil man, Milah. I don't know what you ever saw in him..." He smiled a bit.  
  
"You look awful." I grinned. I knew that I didn't look any better.  
  
"It's nice to feel so loved..." He set my tray on my lap, and sat on the bed next to me.  
  
"You always did eat like a pig right before and after..."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Just informing you. I remember laughing at the waitress when she tried to carry our order to the table." I grinned.  
  
"What, in Paris?" He laughed too. "Oh, my head." He clutched at it.  
  
"Are we wolf buddies tonight, Remus?"  
  
He looked at me like I shot him. "What? You mean you'd sit with me again?" He gave me a hopeful glance.  
  
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it!"  
  
"My place or yours?"  
  
"Well," I thought about it. "Considering that we did it in my quarters last month; we could use yours this time?" I slyly grinned  
  
His face dropped a bit. "But, that means I wouldn't see you change." I hit him with a pillow.  
  
"You're a sick man, Remus Lupin!" We both laughed.  
  
"I am. That's my problem, but I don't think that you'd have me any other way." He had a pretty good humour about the whole wolf deal... I guess that he was "well adjusted".  
  
After classes, I went down to the dungeons to talk to Severus a bit. He was absolutely disagreeable, and was yelling at a sixth year. He looked up just as my frame entered the doorway. "Can I help you professor?" He was snarling, but I knew it was an act.  
  
"You don't scare me, you old tart." Imogene Mystique began to laugh uncontrollably at my statement.  
  
"Nothing but trouble, Mystique. I could fail you." He directed his attention back to his student, completely ignoring my presence  
  
"No you can't. You're just bitter that I know what I'm doing." She glared at him with just as much venom as he had towards her.  
  
"Detention for the next month, Miss Mystique."  
  
"Thank you sir. I love to serve detentions, especially with the chance to torture you..." She turned and stalked out the room.  
  
"Can you believe this? Of all the houses to put her in?" Severus yelled. "She's positively awful! Fights about everything!"  
  
I was laughing. Didn't know what else that I could do... "She held a detention for me just last month... I do think that she likes it." A broad smile was evident. "I think that her number one torture victim is Malfoy..." I related the countless fights between them. "Why there's such venom between them, I do not know." I grinned slyly, "What I do know, is that she's sweet on Weasley..."  
  
It took him a moment to process the information. "Why would I care about such trivial matters as Hogwarts gossip?"  
  
"Because it's good gossip that could go a long way making her respect you." I gave him a meaningful glare.  
  
"I do believe that I like the way your mind works..." He made his way from behind his desk. "Have a glass of wine with me before you care for Lupin?"  
  
"Certainly." We entered his private chambers together.  
  
(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"How did I get myself drawn into this?" Severus was snarling.  
  
"Because, Sevi. It's Malfoy's Christmas party. We're both Death Eaters... It makes sense that he would invite us!" I was frustrated because I didn't want to go any more than he did.  
  
"Why am I going with you? You're engaged!"  
  
"Well, I can't exactly bring him, and besides, he isn't anywhere near here. He'll never find out!"  
  
"But you're Jewish!"  
  
"So? I can't just not go!"  
  
"But why me?"  
  
"Who else would I go with, moron..." I shot him a skeptical look. "Who?" I was looking around for any mysterious males wandering about my apartment.  
  
"You're beautiful, Milah. I don't deserve you."  
  
"I know. Stop reminding me!" He walked over to my vanity and took my brush. He proceeded to brush my hair.  
  
"I would die for you Milah."  
  
His bluntness startled me, but it was a touching phrase. "Really? You do know that as soon as Remus comes home, this ends..."  
  
"I'm aware. I just don't want it to." He scooped me off of my bench, and placed me on the bed.  
  
"Severus, I just spent all this time getting ready!" His sexy moves were causing me to giggle between words. "Oh! I don't care!"  
  
"I didn't think that you would..." An evil grin spread across his face.  
  
************************************************************  
  
I sat myself on his sofa and watched him search through his collection for an appropriate bottle. "I understand that you're quite fond of Chianti..."  
  
"You practically read my mind." I was grinning.  
  
"Were you feeling well today? Any dizzy spells or cold sweats?"  
  
I accepted my glass. "I assure you, I'm fine!" The wine was fabulous.  
  
He seemed to read my thoughts, "I figured it would be to your liking." He watched me take a deep draught. "Now, let's continue our earlier conversation..." His eyes shimmered just a bit as he reclined in his seat.  
  
"I don't quite remember any talking this morning." He refilled my glass.  
  
"As I said earlier, I would not mind escorting you to the Halloween Ball."  
  
"Oh, is that what I said?" I shot him an evil grin. "Maybe I can back out of that?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"I don't think that I've ever heard you say that..." We both had a good laugh. "Company is good, Sevi, but I really should head to Remus' chambers because I don't need you getting me tipsy."  
  
He grabbed my arm. "You are the mother of my child, and I'm still in love with you. I always have been." He stared at the open bottle of Chianti on the table.  
  
"I know, and I'm dealing with the matter accordingly." I smiled at him. "Give me time, Severus..."  
  
"You know that there's nothing that I would deny you. I could offer you a life that Lupin has only dreamed of. I'm an incredibly wealthy man."  
  
"Any romantic thought that I had in mind has just been thrown out the window. What a terrible thing to say!" I slammed the half filled wine fluke on the table and began to storm out the room.  
  
He charmed the door to shut. "Don't leave just yet." I turned to face him. I was furious.  
  
"What the hell is your problem, Severus?"  
  
"You. Always you." He had me pinned against the wall. "I love you, Milah."  
  
"I know, and there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm just not sure yet." I looked away because I knew that he was going to try to kiss me. "I am taking a step in the right direction... Going with you to the Halloween Ball, I mean."  
  
"I'm a firm believer in the one step forward, two steps backward routine, Milah. I wonder how far back you will regress." He looked at me purposely.  
  
"I..."  
  
"Don't forget this." He held out my black head covering.  
  
"You know what Imogene asked me today?" I asked him through muffled giggles.  
  
"I'm afraid..." He feigned terror.  
  
"She asked, right in the middle of class, if you and I were related!" I touched his forearm gently. "When I asked her what would give her such an idea she said, 'Well, you're both Slytherins, you both only wear black, and you're the only person he tolerates.' It was funny..."  
  
"I must admit, the evidence is compelling. I'm sorry to say that we aren't related by blood, or otherwise."  
  
"Patience dear, patience... Now, I have to get upstairs before we have a wolfish crisis on our hands. I don't think that Remus would appreciate me skipping out on our evening together." I grinned. He put my cloak on me and he placed my hijab on my head.  
  
"You really shouldn't cover your hair, you know."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind." Before I could stop him, he kissed me full. "Wow..." My eyes rolled into the back of my head. "So, that's what I've been missing out on all these years. But one must wonder... How you got all that practice." I eyed him suspiciously.  
  
"You taught me all that I needed to know about love. I never forget anything important." He slyly smiled. "Go tend to your beast..."  
  
****  
  
"Remus?" I called as I stood in his living room. "Remus, where are you?" I stepped into his mini sitting room. "Are you in here? Oh my G-d!"  
  
"I'm alright..." He was lying on the floor almost unconscious. "I thought you might have forgotten."  
  
"About our date? Are you kidding?" I bent down to help him off the ground. "This is a particularly vicious month for you, isn't it? I'm sorry for you, you know." I heaved him off the ground.  
  
"Watch my head... You don't have to be sorry for me." He looked so pale; like a dead man. His spirit was nearly broken.  
  
"I know, but I am. You're such a loving man, and you've lived such a horrible life."  
  
"Only the past sixteen years were horrible... I was a happy man when you were here, and you're making me happy again."  
  
My heart sank. I wanted to pursue a relationship with Severus... How to tell him... I won't, that's how. I'll try life with Severus, and if things don't work out, I'll go back. He'll always be around... "I'm glad that I could do that for you again, but Remus, you have to understand that I need time." I guided him to his bed. "Are you sleeping in this?"  
  
"No."  
  
Damn. "Do you need help?"  
  
"I can make it."  
  
"Then I'll be back in a minute, Remus." I pulled his pajamas out of his bureau, and handed them to him. I pulled off his cloak and went to hang it, leaving him to get dressed on his own. He called to me. "What Remus?" I asked.  
  
"Help! I can't do this..." I walked in and saw him struggling to button his shirt.  
  
"Here, let me help." I crossed the room. Familiar feelings arose from the depths of my soul as I buttoned his top. I looked at him as I worked, and noticed that my motions bewitched him as well.  
  
"I wish that you had never disappeared." He looked so torn. "I would probably be a dad by now... I love children."  
  
All this talk of children was depressing me... "I'm so sorry. You're young still..."  
  
"I'm forty-two, Milah..."  
  
"I know quite well, how old you are." I was helping him get settled in his bed, not that he'd remain in that position after his transformation. Searching desperately for a way to change the subject I said, "So what will we do tonight? I could finish my Shakespeare novel." I pulled "Much Ado about Nothing" out of my bag.  
  
"I'd like that, but I'd like it more if you sang to me." He caught me off guard.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I want you to sing to me, Milah. Pull out your instruments and sing to me."  
  
"Sing what, Remus?"  
  
"You used to play this weird stringed instrument... It was for one of your foreign songs..."  
  
"My guitar?"  
  
"No. I said it was weird. It sounded like that though..."  
  
"Oh! But Remus, I haven't played the Sitar since I was in school!"  
  
"I'm easy to please. Pull out your guitar then."  
  
"How long before you transform?"  
  
"I'd say I have about a half hour..." He looked out of his large bay window at the slowly sinking sun. "Sing your Electric Blue song. I always liked that one..."  
  
"How about one that I wrote recently. I think that you'll find it particularly interesting considering your current situation..."  
  
"Ok. I'm not picky." He lay back and waited for me to begin. I conjured my guitar out of the air, and began to play.  
  
"All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall. All night hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something..."  
  
"Hold on... Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why." I noticed that he was watching me. I picked my head up to fully look at him and I smiled as I began to sing the Chorus of the song.  
  
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell... I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me."  
  
"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care... But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be... me."  
  
"I'm talking to myself in public, Dodging glances on the train. And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me... Out of all the hours thinking, Somehow I've lost my mind..."  
  
My mouth opened wide as I sang the next few lines. I was in another dimension. "I've been talking in my sleep... Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away  
  
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care. But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be.  
  
"Yeah, how I used to be... How I used to be... Well, I'm just a little unwell..."  
  
"Your songs are always sad. Even today..." He looked up at me. "Why so sad?"  
  
"I've had a rough life, Remus. I don't have the drive to sing many happy songs."  
  
"What made you choose this particular song for me?"  
  
"I thought that it was relevant. That's all."  
  
"It was. Thank you, Milah... Have you ever seen yourself play?"  
  
"I can't say that I have, Remus. Why?"  
  
"Your entire demeanor changes. It's like you aren't even the same person. First, your facial features relax, with your body close behind. Then you seem to inwardly glow. You're radiant. Such a beautiful woman..." He smiled at me. "Are you ready? It's nearly time. I can feel it coming..." He grew silent and unmoving. His transformation had begun.  
  
"Severus' potion seems to work because you are only partially transformed..." I took in his overall appearance. "You have all of your wolf parts, but you have much less fur. You're quite funny to look at, but I won't poke fun at you. I still think that you're quite a stunning wolf, and if you choose not to continue with the potion, I'll still like you." He simply lay there not moving. "How about we read?" I looked up at him. "I'd prefer to lay in the bed, so if you wouldn't mind sharing..." He stood up and moved so I could have space. "There's a good Remus..." I stroked him gently and felt him shiver at my touch. "I'm so lucky to have you, Remmie..." We read for hours. I fell asleep mid-page, and I'm sure that he thought it was hysterical.  
  
(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I've never been adept at discussing my feelings," He said as we ate in a French restaurant. "but I wanted to tell you that I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. Getting to know you in every way would be an ultimate triumph for a man like me." He took my hand, and I was totally speechless. "I know your precarious situation with Lupin, and if you're willing to leave him; I would marry you today."  
  
"I'm sorry, what?" I choked on the food I was swallowing. He caught me completely off guard.  
  
"Marry me, Milah..." His dark eyes were trained on me. "We are similar creatures. You don't have to turn the lights down for me. I know who, what, you are. Hiding from your husband isn't the way to live, and you wouldn't have need to hide from me."  
  
"But Severus... I simply can't. Don't you understand that Remus and I have begun to build a life together?"  
  
"But I could offer you so much more freedom. With me you could be free to live without fear. I can protect you for any number of things..."  
  
"Yes but," I cut in "all this talk of freedom and protection. You haven't said anything about love. Where I come from, marriage is about love, Severus."  
  
He took my hand. "I shouldn't have to repeat what you already know. You know that I love you. These past few months have been the happiest in my life. I never thought that you could love something like me." He released my hand and placed it in his lap. "For a woman like you to freely love me is like a dream come true. I'll spend my entire life showing you how much I love you, if you'd only give me the opportunity..." His voice trailed.  
  
"I must tell you, Severus, that the thought of making love with the lights on would be a nice change..." He allowed himself a grim smile. "And the thought that I have no secrets to hide is wonderful..." I cast my eyes at my only half finished plate. "But I can not, and will not leave Remus. I can't further betray someone that I love so much."  
  
"And being with me wasn't betrayal?"  
  
"It is, and what would you like me to do?" I raised my voice more than I intended.  
  
"Stop playing games with me. I'm not heartless, despite what the world thinks. I have feelings too, Milah." He threw money on the table and strode out the door.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
* ** *  
  
(A/N) Hee hee... For all you Snape Fans, like me, I had to throw in a little Snape action. There will be plenty more in the future... *evil sexy grin* So, who agrees with my not-so-vocalized decision to date Snape for a while? *cheers* I won't tell Remus, of course... Don't send me hate mail, I promise that they're both happy in the end. *grin* I have big plans for both!  
  
What did you think? Keep in touch! The cauldron is heating up, and I'm about to boil some butt! Be prepared!!! Check out a picture of Milah at the link on my author page. Check out my Live Journal as well!  
  
Crediting:  
  
The song "Electric Blue" belongs to the Cranberries.  
  
The lyrics to the song that I'm singing to Remus belong to Matchbox 20. It's called "Unwell"  
  
A picture of my sitar was posted on my LJ just last night, so you can check it out if you like. All of the links are on my author page. A Sitar is basically a stringed instrument that is typically found in Indian music (from India, not Native Americans). I happen to love it... Sounds really cool!  
  
My guitar is a BC Rich Warlock... Pretty cool stuff, huh. Don't have a picture of it up yet, but if you really want to see it, I can post one. Just haven't gotten around to it!  
  
Your Slytherin Queen, ~Milah 


	16. The Halloween Ball

A/N: Remus is allergic to silver, and I'm allergic to lawyers. I have cloves of garlic and shark repellent everywhere to keep them at bay... Stay away! It's not mine, and I'm not making money off of it... Only Milah and the plot is mine... Everything else goes to Rowling the Magnificent! *Douses house with shark repellent and casts protective wards on computer* "Awayus Evillus Lawyerus of Deathus!" Milah cries!  
  
***One comes near me, and he's zapped instantly, like a moth to flames... *a low rolling laugh is heard* "Didn't stand a chance..." Milah murmurs.  
  
Where are my reviews? *cries* Haven't heard from Hinote... I miss you! Please come back to me!!!  
  
Best regards,  
  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  
This is it guys! The night of the Halloween Ball!!! *cheers* I'm so excited! This will prove to be a very important night... *Evil Slytherin laugh* It's also the longest that I've gone without a single flashback!!!  
  
* ** *  
  
Remus sat at my coffee table looking disgusted, "How could you agree to go with him?" He looked hurt. "You should have known that I wanted to go with you..." His face had fallen, but he looked nice.  
  
"I'm sorry. Severus reached me first. Be quicker next time." I pet him affectionately on the forehead, and continued to prepare for the evening. "I'm not singing tonight, but Dumbledore did ask me to dance..." I looked at him expectantly.  
  
"So? Ask him to do it..."  
  
"But I'd rather dance with you..." He brightened considerably. "Really?"  
  
"Really, really..." I grinned.  
  
He hopped out of the chair and did a ridiculous dance. "I'm so pleased!"  
  
"What's your problem, Lupin?" Severus glared at him impatiently.  
  
"Ah, you're here... I do hope that I'm acceptable." I stopped to gaze at the shrewd Potions master.  
  
"Yes, quite lovely." He walked over and kissed my forehead. Remus tensed.  
  
"I should be going... We'll dance later, Milah."  
  
"Bye, Moony!" He closed the door behind him.  
  
"You look fabulous..." He said gruffly as he wrapped his arms around my waist.  
  
"Thank you." I tried to release myself from his grip. "No, Severus."  
  
"Too much too soon?"  
  
"Yes, I'm afraid."  
  
"Shall we go?" He extended an elbow for me to wrap my arm around. This could be an interesting evening indeed...  
  
The music was blaring, and upon arriving, we could barely hear anything else. "What!?!"" I heard Severus yell.  
  
"What!?!" I yelled back. It was futile, we wouldn't be able to talk.  
  
The party was well underway. We scanned the crowd looking for fellow colleagues, but found none. They probably were stationed in various places making sure no snogging was taking place. "Look at that girl's hair!" Severus bellowed.  
  
"What about a bear?!?" I didn't get it, but he positioned my face to see what he was talking about. Imogene Mystique had charmed her hair to a bright pink. "Imogene!" I cried, and surprisingly she turned around. "I'm so glad that it worked!!! You get an 'A'!"  
  
"THANKS PROFESSOR!" She patted my shoulder and turned back around to her friends, Marie Lawrence (Gryffindor) and Travis Watson (Ravenclaw).  
  
We surveyed students for a while because technically, we were chaperones. Severus grasped my shoulder, and brought my attention to the slow song that began to play. "Dance with me..." He whispered in my ear. I couldn't hear a word that he said, but I knew what he wanted. He took my right hand, and his went to my waist. I moved easily in his arms; we had plenty of practice. I was aware that the students began to stare at the two of us. It must have been unusual for them to see a seemingly heartless professor swaying gracefully with a lady in his arms. He was quite the center of attention, and it was obvious that he was a talented dancer. Remus happened to catch my eye, and I swear, he was as green as he could have been. If Severus had been any closer, I think he could have stabbed him. We were dancing dangerously close, and I instinctively twirled the hair on the nape of his neck around my fingers. He was thoroughly enjoying himself. At the end of the song he politely bowed, and I did a low curtsey (compliments of years of dancing). We surveyed the small crowd that gathered in a circle around us. The staff were dotted among the numerous stunned students.  
  
A fast paced salsa blared, and most students didn't know how dance so they stood around waiting for someone else to make the first move... My back was faced away, so I couldn't see Remus fighting the crowd to get to me. I felt a hand grab mine and spin me into him. The crowd, again, formed a circle around me. He gazed into my eyes as he spun me to face him. I remember teaching him that... Took him ages to learn. Immediately following, he threw me back and we did a quick chain ball one, two step. He spun me repeatedly, drawing applause from the crowd. Releasing me, I moved several paced away from him. He seductively moved towards me. My hips swayed to the beat of the drums sounding in the background. I raised my arms over my head, moving my hands in miniature circles as they rose. He reached me, placing his hands on my shoulders. His hands slid down my body, which was still swaying to the music. I instinctively began to spin, his hands stabilizing me. I kicked my leg high in the air, letting it fall on his shoulder. He shrugged out of it, and spun me close. Our bodies were touching now, and I was flooded with many emotions; I was prepared for none. He placed a strong arm behind my back and dipped me very low. My cover fell off, and my hair touched the ground. The students gasped when they saw me bare-headed. I entwined my right leg around his, and I had my eyes closed. He planted a kiss on my neck sending shivers through my body and soul. "Remus..." I moaned softly. Just like that, the song was over. I somehow hid my disappointment. Would my arrangement with Severus work, after all?  
  
I stared at him for a while after the song ended. Neither one knew where to go from here... He held me in that dip, and neither one of us noticed until Severus came glowering up to us. He barked at Lupin to let me go. We weren't even hearing him. All we heard was the applause of the students. 'I love you', he mouthed. I smiled at him. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea, but I didn't know which path was right. Have to keep all my options open...  
  
He lifted me to a standing position as I untangled our various limbs. He gave me a tight hug. We held raised hands and bowed to our cheering students. They obviously didn't think that Remus had any energy in him. "You were fantastic!" I yelled to him.  
  
"Yeah? Well I had an excellent teacher. I'll give you her card!" He was grinning.  
  
Severus grabbed my arm and began to drag me away. "What is your problem, Merverosa? You came with me!" He was fuming. "I'll not be made a fool out of..."  
  
"Stop it right now. You're acting like a git!" He slapped me hard across the face. His harsh actions stunned me. In all my years of knowing him, I never knew him to be violent towards me. Then he pushed me down on the ground like I was a doll that he was tired of playing with. I struck my head on the hard floor.  
  
"Severus!" Dumbledore cried. "Get a hold of yourself, man! You can't do this!" Remus was charging at top speed to my side.  
  
"Are you hurt, Milah?" He was checking me for any injuries. "What the hell is your problem, Snape? Why do you feel the need to beat on women?" He stared daggers at Severus. "Are you to afraid to pick on men?" Severus stormed out the Great Hall without another word.  
  
My lip was bleeding where he slapped me, but other than that I was unharmed. I'd probably have some minor bruises... "Milah! Are you okay?" Remus kneeled in front of me and grabbed my shoulders. He was shaking me, but I couldn't respond. I slumped onto his chest. "It's happening again Professor!" He held me to his chest. "Please don't leave, Milah. Don't give in to the blackness! Whatever decision is that you need to make, please make it. I hate to see you this way..."  
  
* ** *  
  
A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. If you have any ideas, please let me know... I know where I have set for things to go, but I can incorporate anyone else's ideas (I'll credit you, of course) in too! Later babe!  
  
Well, I should give credit to the Gypsy Kings, who's music helped me through that tough salsa number. If it's a bit tough to visualize, I apologize. It's difficult to transfer dance steps to writing without making things technical, but believe me, if I could make a video of my partner and I performing, I would. Hope you enjoyed... Guess you know what's coming next, but this one won't be long. She has that potion now, that is if Severus didn't use it all on research... *evil grin* Hee hee... Yeah, Severus started out really nice, but he has a vicious jealous streak. Perhaps it ruined all chances of a relationship, but perhaps it makes an apology that much more interesting... *wink* Especially from a man who doesn't apologize...  
  
Bet you didn't know that Remus could dance!! Well, I taught him! He's damn good at it... *Shivers*  
  
It's four AM guys! I'm flying away now... Your Slytherin Queen.  
  
~Milah 


	17. Peekaboo I choose you!

A/N: Remus is allergic to silver, and I'm allergic to lawyers. Only Milah and the plot is mine... Everything else goes to Rowling the Magnificent!  
  
Chocolate frogs to anyone who can figure out what I'm poking fun at with my title!!!  
  
Where are my reviews? *cries* Haven't heard from Hinote... I miss you! Please come back to me!!!  
  
Bmiller669 has expressed a dislike for my attitude toward Remus. But I'm glad that you approve now that I've better covered my bottom! It's mixed feedback like yours that I truly appreciate! You tell me that you liked it, but you also gave me something to fix! That's how writing is made better!!! Thanks a bunch Ms. Miller!! For all of you confused blokes out there, I'll post the correspondence on the review page!  
  
Welcome to the madness that is me! *Bows*  
  
Just a general Author update... I've met this guy. He's wonderful. We dated a while back in high school, and we've decided to give it another go. We're both older and much wiser than we were back then. *gazes into crystal ball* I'm an expert at divination, you know.... *wink* I see lots of fluff in Milah's future...  
  
Best regards,  
  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  
This is it guys! That fateful chapter where she makes her decision known... We start at mid-December! If I do a flashback, it isn't going to be an old memory because she's contemplating over these two men... Keep in mind that these are more recent F/B, okay?  
  
* ** *  
  
"Can anyone tell me the spell to make things levitate?" I asked the class. It was full of first years, and I chose this charm to run through today.  
  
"Avada-"  
  
"No!" I cried quickly. "That's not it..." I smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. I was walking towards the back of the class. "Mr. Rosmerta, I recall seeing you floating a piece of cake about the Great Hall..." He looked abashed that he was caught.  
  
"But that was months ago. You haven't been to dinner since..." He thought it best to keep quiet.  
  
"What's the charm, Billy?" There was a new found edge in my voice.  
  
"Wingardium Leviosa."  
  
"Very good." I smiled at the small framed Hufflepuff. "Now, I have a simple task. Make something on your desk levitate, and you may go. Enjoy your Hogsmeade weekend, and for those of you returning home, have a safe and healthy trip." I sat down at my desk and rubbed my temples. I know what I have to do, but I'm not sure that I want to... I know what I'll do!  
  
*** "Professor MgGonagal?"  
  
"Yes Milah?" I stepped into her office and smiled at her.  
  
"I need some advice..."  
  
"Ah..." She picked her nose out of a stack of essays. "About your-- current situation, I believe?" She smiled at me.  
  
"Yes, that's right." I buried my face in my hands. "I just don't know what to do!" I began to sob. She instantly stood, shut her door, and sat in a chair facing me.  
  
"It's okay, Milah. It happens to the best of us..." She hugged me. Truth is, we had become friends since I started teaching. She knew all about my dilemma, and wanted to help me. "Tell me what's bothering you."  
  
I told her whom I had chosen, and she smiled. "I knew that is what you would do. It's shocking though, to hear it actually spoken. I never would have thought that he could..." Her voice trailed off. "Well, we have some work to do." She slapped me on the shoulder. "Now, first things first. Let's go and buy you some new robes!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're starting a new life. New life, new robes; it's perfectly practical, I assure you."  
  
"Who should I tell first?" I asked as I paid for my brand new (sexy) colorful robe.  
  
"Tell Mr. Lupin first. You don't want to cause any pain or misunderstanding..." She smiled at me kindly. "I must admit that I don't envy your task one bit." She placed a hand on my shoulder. "But I wouldn't mind two men fighting over me..." Minerva smiled slyly. "Now, let's make you irresistible. They won't know what hit them at dinner tonight."  
  
"I still don't want to eat at the table."  
  
"But you must..."  
  
"It could be awkward. I don't want to see either one just yet..."  
  
"I know what you could do!" She said as we walked into Bewitching Beauties, a ladies parlour. "You could wear your normal black robes to dinner, and tell who you don't want. Then sport your new ones" She indicated the wrapped parcel in my arms, "later on. For the winner, you know."  
  
"Minerva, you are a beast!"  
  
"Well, I missed out in my chances for love. I want you to have yours."  
  
(Mini F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
An owl flew to my window and began its incessant tapping. I opened it to let him in and he dropped a letter in my lap.  
  
Dear Milah,  
  
I must express my supreme displeasure with my behaviour at the Party. I never meant to hurt you. Please be on more amicable terms with me?  
  
~Severus Snape  
  
"That's the best apology that he's ever written." I put on my cloak and made my way to the dungeons to speak to him.  
  
"Enter." He looked up from the book that he was reading. "Ah, it's you..." He gave me a weak smile.  
  
"I received your letter."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And I think that it was a horrible thing that you did. You hurt me! I was placed back into Gurth because of it!" I sighed. "I'm a little uncomfortable, that's all. Time heals all wounds." I left.  
  
***************************************************  
  
Minerva sat down by Albus, "She's going to tell them tonight." She smiled knowingly.  
  
"And that, my dear, is good news. The tension at the dinner table should loosen considerably, once she's back to herself..."  
  
***  
  
"I can't believe that I'm going to do this..." I was applying muggle cosmetics to my face. "This could change everything!" I was speaking to my two pet bunnies. "What if he rejects me... I spent all this meditation and time finding my correct partner, and I don't even know if he still wants me..." 'Don't cry... You just spent all that time applying that eye liner, don't mess it up!' I thought angrily. "Well, this is it. He'll be back in his chambers by now... I just have to break the news to Remus." I sighed as I slipped my wand up my sleeve. Taking a final glance at myself in the mirror, I strode off to have the conversation that would change my world.  
  
The halls were dark and damp, but inordinarily filled with students. One Slytherin seventh year stopped me, mouth open. "My G-d Professor. You look amazing!" She was gawking at me. "You really should wear colour. Maroon is perfect on you..."  
  
"Thank you." I smiled. Her reaction is just what I needed. It wasn't just her. I had people stumbling over their own feet. They had never really seen me all fixed up, except for the Ball, and they had never seen me wear a colour sans black. I received many Ooohs and Ahhs. I must admit that I liked it, but I wish they hadn't seen me because now the rumors would circulate. I wanted to bring Severus the news myself, and not have him hear things through the grapevine...  
  
Remus lived in a more private section of the castle. Students rarely went there, and tonight was no exception. It was a place where he could be a werewolf without disturbing sleeping students. I practiced many poses. Finally I just knocked on the door. He opened his door and was wiping his hands with a kitchen towel. Upon seeing me his mouth hit the floor. "I- uh- I-" Just the reaction that I was looking for... (A/N *wink*)  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"No!" He answered me a bit too quickly. I entered anyway, just in time to see someone transform into a black dog.  
  
"Sirius Black, is that you?" I was not terribly pleased to see him.  
  
"No, this is my dog Snuffles."  
  
"You lie... Get out of here for now, Sirius. I need to have a word with our friend here." He wasn't moving. "Remember what happened with our last confrontation..." I gave him a warning glare, and he quickly skittered out of the room.  
  
He looked thoroughly astounded to see me, "What can I do for you?" 'My G- d, she looks magnificent.' He thought. "Please, sit."  
  
"I have some news for you." I smiled sadly. My fate was about to change, and how he took the news would be the anchor that stabilized my life.  
  
"You've made your decision then?" His face darkened. "By the looks of what you have to say, it can't be good."  
  
"It isn't. Someone's heart is going to break tonight." I said quietly. "It could be mine. I just don't know yet."  
  
He took my hand, trying to make a brave face. "I only ever want you to be happy. Even if it isn't with me..."  
  
Shit! This isn't going well. "Remus, you misunderstand me. I came to you to tell you that I chose you..." I looked at him and saw the exact moment that the news hit him. His face lit up so bright that it almost hurt my eyes to look at him. "I chose you, Remmie..." I touched his cheek.  
  
"But why?"  
  
"Because you still loved me even after you found out about my past." He wrapped his arms around me as I continued, "Severus may have known about me all along, but you stayed by me after the truth escaped. You didn't cast me away..." I looked at his oriental rug, "Even though I probably deserved it."  
  
He moved closer to me, and we shared the sweetest kiss ever. So chalked full of emotion, passion, and happiness that we still aren't sure how long it lasted. "I love you, Milah... I'm so glad that you came back to me..." He smiled, and I buried my head in his chest. There was only one way to describe my feelings that night, "content". I finally knew who I truly was, and I had Remus back. My life was wonderful.  
  
I awoke the next morning in the same position that we both fell asleep. It was early, but I knew that Severus would be awake. I tried to move without him waking, but was unsuccessful. He pulled me closer as he opened his eyes. "So it wasn't a dream..."  
  
"No, it wasn't. Good morning." He kissed my head and released me.  
  
"Where are you going?" He watched me straighten my robes. They had become all wrinkly from sleeping on the loveseat  
  
"Wrinkle no more." I charmed all the wrinkles out of my maroon robes. I glanced up at him, "I have to tell Severus. Please, don't gloat... He's still my friend."  
  
"I thought that you weren't speaking to him."  
  
"He may not wish to speak to me after I tell him this..." I looked at him smiling. "I know who I am now."  
  
"I've always known who you were. You could have asked me... I would have reminded you, and we could have both saved a lot of time."  
  
I raised my eyebrows at him and said, "Don't make me rethink my decision..." He kissed me fiercely.  
  
"This is going to be the happiest day of my life, Milah... You've made me a happy man."  
  
"I'm glad..." I touched his cheek and headed to the dungeons.  
  
"Severus? Are you here?" I was rewarded to hear a half awake grunt from the behind his desk.  
  
"Milah? What are you doing here? I thought that you weren't speaking to me." He had apparently fallen asleep at his desk grading papers. "Not that your presence displeases me..."  
  
"I've made my decision, Sevi..."  
  
"Oh?" He murmured, trying not to put too much feeling in his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry..."  
  
He stood up, and hugged me. "It's alright. I expected that you would go back to him. I was prepared." pulling away, he told me, "I wish you and Lupin all the best. I'd never wish you ill..." A single tear fell down his cheek. "If you'll excuse me, I have papers to grade." He sat back at his desk, and picked up his quill as if there had been no exchange between us.  
  
"I'm sorry for you all the same. I know that it must hurt." I quietly closed the door behind me.  
  
* ** *  
  
A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page.  
  
So? How was it? Does everyone support my thought to keep Lupin? Let me know! Also let me know if you are interested enough in me doing a sequel. I have some good ideas for the happy couple, and I want to know if you would be interested in me continuing. Well, whatever... Review please!! I'm going to probably keep on with it anyway, but I want your input...  
  
Oh, and if you guys feel up to it, I'll write you all in. Just send me a mini-bio of what you'd like to be. I could use some students and some professors, as well! My email is tbarbe02@bellsouth.net have fun with it, guys! I'm always up to talking so if you see me online, speak!  
  
Love from your Slytherin Queen,  
  
~Milah 


	18. Holiday Preparations

A/N: I'm not making a dime, do you hear me!?! It's all Rowling's!!  
  
So, lets talk... Finals are killing me, I can't sleep, so I'm going to stay up and write for all of my adoring fans! Speaking of fans... *waves Slytherin flag* Thanks to all you beautiful people for reviewing! I was given some interesting papers to grade, and I have to tell you, please don't complain about having to write essays... Think of the poor schmucks like me who have to grade a bunch...  
  
Ms. Miller, I couldn't live without you, of course!! What house are/were you in? Milah has to be strong because she's me! *grins* We're both tough cookies... She's always tried to make him feel better about his lycanthropy, but he's a tough nut to crack! *mutters something about guys always having thick heads* hee hee... Yes, lots of challenges facing the happy couple...  
  
And Mystique! You're reviews are always interesting (to say the least)... You can come up with some off the wall comments about both me, and my story!! Think outside the bun! It's my favourite way to be! *Does crazy dance*  
  
Kat-tak, what an interesting penname... What does it mean?? What house are you in? Thanks for replying! Hope to hear more from you soon!  
  
Hinote! You're back!! *hugs* I've missed you! *sloppy grin* Hope your computers doing better because once school is out, you can expect to hear quite a bit more from me!!! Get that stuff to me ASAP please! I'm putting out a big chapter sometime next week... Need to get everyone together who wants in!!  
  
So, we're going to see a bit of Mr. Black in here... *screws face in concentration* Professor Sinistra (Astronomy) is going to cause some trouble... And for all of you that actually read this, I'm not drunk... Haven't slept in ages, and the sleep deprivation is starting to get to me!  
  
The Chocolate frog goes to my buddy hinote for figuring out what the title of my story means, but I wanted the title of the chapter, cheeseball! It's okay, I have a whole stack of frogs to give away, so guess away! *grins* I need to write, my A/N's are getting rather lengthy! *sighs* I can't believe that I'm writing with my new beau sitting next to me... *smiles as warm body kisses neck* *shivers* That's some powerful stuff! Gotta write!  
  
~Milah  
  
* ** * Present day!!  
  
******************************************************************  
  
"I'm not going to the Yule Ball..." Travis groaned. "I don't have a date."  
  
"But it isn't till tomorrow!" Cho Chang shouted. "You've got to go... What about Ashley Arredondo? She's been sweet on you for a while..."  
  
"You... You... You... You're wonderful!" Travis dashed out of the Ravenclaw common room in search of the Slytherin beauty.  
  
"Always a drama queen, that one." Cho pointed a thumb at her silly friend.  
  
**  
  
"Um, Imogene... I wanted to know if you'd go to the Yule Ball with me?" Ron looked up hopefully.  
  
"Of course I will!" She jumped up excitedly. "Oh my G-d! I thought that you'd never ask!" She threw down her dinner roll. "I've got to tell Marie!"  
  
**  
  
"Welcome one and all to another fun filled staff meeting!" Albus stated cheerily, ignoring the groans escaping the mouths of his colleagues. "Today's topics are the Yule Ball, and Hogsmeade. We will need chaperones for both, so please sign up on this sheaf of parchment." He handed it off to Professor McGonagal. "Now," He settled down in his chair. "What are your plans for the holidays?" He looked around, expecting someone to speak up.  
  
"I'll be attending an important Astronomy gathering." Professor Sinistra volunteered.  
  
"I'm going to float around, as usual... Maybe visit some living friends in America." Binns drawled.  
  
"And you, Severus?" Dumbledore questioned.  
  
He shot Albus a deadly glare, "I'll be returning to my empty manor, why do you ask?" He cocked his head to the side in a questioning manner.  
  
"Ah, and you Ms. Merverosa?" He turned to me, sitting quietly.  
  
"I'm going to go back to my home. I haven't been there in sixteen years, and I'm not sure what state things will be in. It's going to be a good deal of work..." I took off my reading glasses and rubbed my temples.  
  
"Make sure you all sign the Chaperone list. If no one has anything left to share, you may leave..." He gazed around the silent table. "Ah, but not you, Professor Vector..." An aging Professor stopped in his tracks, and turned to have a quiet conversation with the Headmaster.  
  
"Milah?" I turned to see that it was Professor Trelawney that was addressing me.  
  
"Yes?" I inwardly groaned. "Can I help you, Sibyll?"  
  
"I've come to give you an early Christmas present..."  
  
I couldn't help but laugh... I even went to school with her! Some psychic she was if she couldn't figure out that Jews don't celebrate Christmas... "Really?" I said with a hopeful hint in my voice. I'm a great actress...  
  
"Hold out your palm, dear..." She studied my hand "Hmmm... Yes, a bright time for you, my dear. Just over a serious illness, I see."  
  
'Yeah, big secret' I thought to myself.  
  
"You won't be alone for the Holidays..." She looked up, wide-eyed, "Oh dear!" She put her hand over her mouth.  
  
"What?" G-d she's a creepy one...  
  
"Nothing... I don't want to- spoil your holiday with such news..." She glided away calling out to Professor Sprout, obviously about to spread some fictitious gossip... I made a mental note to talk to her later, and see what this is all about.  
  
I was walking to my chambers, my mind wandering to the home that I left behind, when I heard a young voice call out to me. "Yes, Miss Blue?"  
  
"I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment..."  
  
"Certainly, I'll make some tea. How's life as a Prefect going?" I politely asked the Ravenclaw seventh year.  
  
"I was hoping for Head Girl, but it's okay so far..."  
  
"Please sit, Anais..." I tapped my tea kettle and it instantly began to whistle. "Now, what is it that you wanted to talk about?"  
  
"Well," She looked up nervously. "Someone that I trusted is proving not to be so trustworthy. He really hurt me!" She was clearly upset now.  
  
"It's okay dear, no need to cry. Tell me what happened..." I sat cross- legged on my desk and listened to her talk of horrible boyfriends.  
  
"I don't think that I can take anymore..." She balled up her fists in frustration. "I think that this is it for me, you know?"  
  
"I do know, probably more than you can understand. But what made you share such confidential information with me?"  
  
"Well," She gazed at me regardingly. "You seem to be closer to me in mental age than many of the students here. I could open up easier to you..." She looked at her feet, possibly embarrassed at speaking to me.  
  
"I'm glad that you came." I gave her a reassuring smile as I sipped my hot tea. "You really can't let men get you down. They do very stupid things, but they don't mean to hurt you. Sometimes they just do... I had quite a bit of trouble with these things coming up, and my life is just starting to settle down."  
  
"How do you mean, Milah?" Remus was coolly leaning against the door frame.  
  
"Jesus Remus, you scared me!" I gave him an evil glare. "I'm talking with Miss Blue, so can you come back in a bit?"  
  
"No, it's okay... I'll be going now, but thanks for your help. I'll come back if I need you again." She said with a small smile.  
  
"Please do, Anais. It's nice to have a friend..." She waved and pulled the door behind her. "And what can I do for you?" I smiled at my long- time friend.  
  
"I was hoping that you could help me with a problem I'm having..." He was really looking fabulous today.  
  
"A problem with what?"  
  
"Girls..." He grinned at me slyly as he slithered towards me.  
  
"I'm sure that I can help you..." He kissed me soundly. I put on my reading glasses to start reading an article that he put on my lap. "What are your plans for the holidays?" I continued reading his article about the cutting edge research on a new species of werewolf.  
  
"Can you believe that there are people willing to become werewolves?" His eyes bulged.  
  
"From what I read, it sounds like these testers have what you've wanted all your life, other than a total cure. They are certified animagi, changing form at will. The only difference that the full moon brings, is that they lose their human thought." I put the article down and took off my glasses.  
  
"But people are choosing to live like this." He stretched out his hands to add emphasis to his own case.  
  
"They're all adults who are fully educated when the final decision is made. Who knows, maybe one day they'll figure out a way to help you." I touched the tip of his nose with my finger. "Again, I ask about your holiday..."  
  
"I don't quite know yet." He shrugged. "Not much for me to do. I may stick around and grade some overdue essays..."  
  
"You can come home with me, if you'd like. Being back in that big house all by myself may be a bit too much for me."  
  
"Haven't been back there in a very long time." He appeared to be concerned for both of us. "Are you sure that you want me back in your house?"  
  
"I'd be honored, Remus."  
  
"What about the Yule Ball..." He questioned.  
  
"Not going. I have work to do..." I smiled. Truth is, I was going, but I had a surprise that I wasn't ready for him to find out.... (A/N): *Evil evil evil evil Grin*  
  
"Not even if I asked you to go?"  
  
"Nope..." I looked up from my papers, "I told you Remmie, I have loads to do. I really want to have the time to devote to my house. It may be falling apart by now..."  
  
"Okay, well I'll see you later tonight?"  
  
"Maybe..." I tried to look very busy.  
  
"Lunch in Hogsmeade tomorrow, then?"  
  
"Sure..." I picked my head up and genuinely smiled at him. "I'll be in my office. You can come and get me when you're ready to go."  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow then!" He skipped out my door.  
  
"Finally, some peace!!" I flopped down in my chair, only to hear my door creak open. When I looked up I saw the most unlikely creature standing in my doorway. "Damn. So much for peace." I turned to address the dog in my doorway. "Sirius Black, you old scoundrel. Absolutely corking to see you..."  
  
**  
  
"Ashley?" Travis scanned the nearly empty library. He finally caught sight of a student that he knew. "Hermione, have you seen Ashley Arredondo?"  
  
"What, the Slytherin?"  
  
"Yeah, that's the one."  
  
"No." She stalked off  
  
"What's her problem." He mumbled to himself. "Next stop, the dining hall..."  
  
**  
  
Ashley Arredondo was sitting in the courtyard with a fellow Slytherin, Pansy Parkinson. "Do you think he likes me?"  
  
"Who cares!" Pansy drawled "Do you think Draco likes me?"  
  
Ashley stood up and said, "You really are a git Pansy."  
  
"Hey Ashley!" She looked about for who was calling her name. "Ash!" She could only make out his scarf at this distance, a Ravenclaw.  
  
"That's me..."  
  
"It's a bit cold outside for you to be sitting in the snow, don't you think?"  
  
'Oh my G-d, it's Travis!' She thought to herself, mind flashing a thousand times a minute. "Hullo Travis, how are you?"  
  
"I'm doing well. Would you like to go inside?"  
  
'Anything to get away from her.' "Of course. Inside would be nice." She smiled sweetly at him, leaving Pansy to fend for herself.  
  
**  
  
"Ah, Professor Merverosa, how good to see you."  
  
"I never thought that I'd exchange civil words with the likes of you..." I shot him an evil glare.  
  
"Now Milah, I know that I was not your favourite person growing up, but things are different now."  
  
"How, Sirius. How are things different? I'm still the Slytherin that you picked on... Nothing has changed about me... What would you possibly want to do with me?"  
  
"I came to talk to you about Remus."  
  
"For as long as you were in Azkaban, I wouldn't think that you would be a world authority on Lupin..."  
  
"Hey now." He raised his hand defensively. "That was out of my control. I came to tell you that I want to start over. We both have Remus to think about, and if we want him to be happy, we have to get along." He had a hopeful glow about his face. "I'm willing to put my differences aside to make him happy.  
  
"He tells me things about you... I know everything, and as much as it disgusts me, he still wants you." His face was reddening with anger. "So let's just play nice and get along." He transformed into dog form and left.  
  
**  
  
"Thanks for seeing me, Headmaster."  
  
"I trust that everything is in order?" A mischievous glint flashed in his eye.  
  
"I have everything set for perfection. We simply have to wait until tomorrow night."  
  
"This is a big step to take. Are you sure that you're ready?" He directed his gaze directly upon me, "I've followed you closely for many years now, and I know that what you do will only have an impact on those who know you. Others will not bat an eye..."  
  
"The severity of my actions will only prove that I am better. I can live again, Albus. I can afford to be human, and that's a chance that ex-death eaters don't often come by. I'm free of Gurth... I couldn't be more ready."  
  
"It's so good to have you back, Milah. For a while, I thought that I may lose you again." He was speaking in Italian again. I had nearly forgotten how brilliant my employer truly was... "After all these years, perhaps the only thing that hasn't changed is the rarity of your smile. I trust that Mr. Lupin is working tirelessly to make it a permanent fixture..."  
  
"You know everything that goes on, don't you?"  
  
"I do not." He glared at me defensively, "But sometimes I cannot help but notice things that I helped place in motion. I must enjoy the fruits of my labour... Excuse me..." He stood and stepped out of his office.  
  
I allowed myself a look around the office that I got to know so well from my own days as a Prefect. Fawkes was on his usual perch, he never cared for me, and I left him alone. He had a massive library that was filled with books on every conceivable topic. He even had a section of muggle books.  
  
It was the marble Pensieve sitting on a table that drew my attention away from his books. It was silently calling to me. It wanted me to know something, and upon looking into the bowl I saw many things. My own mind began to fog as I pressed my wand to the silvery liquid.  
  
(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Have you heard anything, Professor?" A very tense Remus was sitting in a chair at Hogwarts.  
  
"Sadly, yes. I have news for you."  
  
"No... She's not gone, I know she's not. I can still feel her..." He put his head in his hands.  
  
"I'm sorry Remus... I know it's hard for you, but you're still young. There can be others..."  
  
"She gave me my wedding ring before she left, you know... Said that it might make me feel better if I could hold on to it while she was gone..." He displayed the ring on his left hand. "I haven't taken it off since..." A hopeless look stretched across his worn face as he slumped into the plush easy-chair. "It's been more than two months..."  
  
It tore me apart to see the state that I left him in. I tried to go to him, but I remembered that I was not part of that time. My body was being transported to another time, and the images were clouding around me before I reappeared in Albus' office.  
  
(another F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Remus, I've watched you grow. Surely you know that this isn't healthy." Albus pointed at the wedding ring still on his hand. "You aren't married. It's been four years, Mr. Lupin... Don't you think that she would have wanted you to let go? Wouldn't she want you to be happy?"  
  
"I know, Albus, I know. I've searched everywhere, to no avail, but I can't shake this feeling that she's alive. You don't understand... It's like I know that she's still alive. Maybe a POW somewhere..." He shuddered. "I'll continue to search for her until I find a difinitive answer either way."  
  
"This is no way to live, Remus. Surely you must know that..." Albus gave him a very concerned pat on the shoulder. "She would have wanted you to be happy. She loved you more than words could say... She told me on numerous occaisions."  
  
***************************************************************  
  
The Pensieve had finished with me, and I quickly left the Headmaster's office. Something grabbed my shoulder, and I whirled around to see what it was. "Professor Sinistra..."  
  
"No need for titles, Milah." She glared at me. "I know what you're up to, and you won't get away with it. Housemate or no... You can't play Severus. It isn't right. Just you wait, you'll get what's coming to you!" She stalked away screaming.  
  
"What was that about?" Remus questioned.  
  
"Where the hell did you come from?" My head was spinning. All these people showing up when my mind is already fuzzy was not a good idea.  
  
"I saw you step out of the office, and I figured that I'd walk you to wherever it is that you were going. Then I saw Sinistra grab you... Just curious is all."  
  
I smiled. "Oh nothing. Just girl talk." 'good, he heard nothing. I'm not prepared to answer questions that I don't know the answers to.'  
  
"Sinistra is capable of girl talk?" He appeared thoroughly befuddled. "Didn't even realize that she was a human." He grinned.  
  
"Yeah, I suppose she is a bit off-colour, but she can't be all bad."  
  
* ** *  
  
A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. Check out my Live Journal as well!  
  
Thanks to my fabulous reviewers! I love you guys!  
  
Love from your Slytherin Queen,  
  
~Milah 


	19. 2020 hindsight

A/N: I'm not making a dime, do you hear me!?! It's all Rowling's!!  
  
Hmm... Won't be much of an Author's note because I haven't received any reviews yet... *scowls*  
  
~Milah  
  
* ** * "I'll have a butterbeer, Madame Rosmerta!"  
  
"And for you, pretty lady?"  
  
"A glass of Chianti."  
  
"Come on, Milah! Live a little!"  
  
"You're up to no good, Remus Lupin, I can feel it..." I shot him a playfully dangerous glare. "I really think that you just want to get me drunk."  
  
"What a horrible accusation, Professor..." He feigned a hurt look "She'll take a butterbeer as well as her Chianti." He addressed towards our server.  
  
"Be right back with them!" Madame Rosmerta chimed.  
  
"Do you remember coming here when we were younger?" He asked me.  
  
"I do." My eyes were scanning the room for any sign of trouble, but all was quiet. For the most part, the older students hung around The Three Broomsticks. Younger students stuck to Zonko's Joke Shop, and Honeydukes. "Oh, look!" He turned to see where I was pointing.  
  
"Professor Bellar..." Remus nodded courteously.  
  
"Hallo Hinote. How's Muggle Studies going?" I asked my friend, and former housemate.  
  
"Oh, it's definitely interesting..." She displayed a smirk that only a Slytherin could have carried off. "They were most interested in my tattoo. Most had never seen one on a person who wasn't a you-know-what..."  
  
Her casual reference to the Dark Mark carried by Death Eaters was most uncomfortable, but I dismissed it. "No way! You showed them that?" How she had managed to show them the Slytherin Crest emblazoned on the small of her back, I'll never know. Maybe I didn't want to...  
  
"I was doing a lesson on muggles' fondness for body modification. It was a class of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff seventh years, so I figured that they could handle it..." She shifted her weight. "I should really be going because I don't want to disturb your lunch." She nodded, and left the Three Broomsticks.  
  
"You could be nicer to her, you know..." I snapped at him.  
  
"I could, but why would I want to?"  
  
"Because, Remus, I like her... If I have to put up with Sirius Black, you can deal with Hinote Bellar..."  
  
"You've overstepped your boundaries, Milah..." He angrily glared at me. "Sirius Black is my best friend in the entire world." His voice was rapidly rising. "You have no right to down talk him, when you are guilty of the very crime that you accuse him of!"  
  
"Shh.. Keep your voice down. You're making a scene!" I stared daggers at him. "And what crime would that be, exactly?"  
  
"You accuse him of leaving, but let me tell you! I know the real reason you left..." He was fuming. I no longer tried to hush him. "You couldn't handle the hole that you dug yourself into! You couldn't deal with where your life had headed... Things got too complicated for your simple little mind? Rather than coming to me, you ran off! I was the one person that you should have gone to! I loved you, Milah!" Much to my dismay, he had the everyone in the bar listening to what he was saying.  
  
"Fact is Milah, you lied to me... All those years, were lies! You were sleeping around with that greasy son of a bitch, and even became pregnant..." He threw his hands in the air. "Then you get hurt on the job, and I find all these people offering condolences... Do you know what exactly went through my mind?" He was seething with anger  
  
"No. Why don't you tell me..." Maybe if I remain calm, he will...  
  
"I thought you were dead! I thought that the one good thing that I had in this cursed life had been taken away." He stood calmly with his hands at his sides, "Then the nurse tells me that the baby is gone... Why didn't you tell me? You let me believe that it was mine, and then sixteen years after your mysterious disappearance, you show up. Out of nowhere, you just appear!" He put his hands on his head, as if he was trying to keep it from exploding. "I hear you talking to him again, and I find out the truth about you! I can't believe that... No, it's not worth it." He began to walk away.  
  
"But Remus..." I grabbed the sleeve of his robes.  
  
"You know what, don't talk to me right now... I'm not pleased with you." He tore himself from my grip, but I was quick. I stood from the chair and had him by his shoulders before he took a single step.  
  
"No, we need to talk now. You've just created a scene in front of a tavern filled with students... We need to finish this now..." I growled.  
  
"What would you like me to say, Remus?" I grabbed at my face. "I can't take my past back... If I could, I'd have stayed with you! I wouldn't have done many of the things that I did, but everyone has 20/20 hindsight!" He still looked furious, but the animalistic qualities that his body language displayed were slowly dissipating.  
  
"Right, well... That doesn't take the salt from my wounds, Milah. That doesn't take the sting from my heart. 'I'm sorry' won't fix the fact that you cheated on me, and then lied about the parentage of a dead child... 'I'm sorry' won't fix the fact that you were a double agent for my greatest enemy..."  
  
"Please, sit down so we can at least talk about this..." I buried my face in my hands.  
  
"'I'm sorry' won't fix the fact that you were somehow involved with the Potters' murders..."  
  
"How did you--? I did all that I could to help them..." We were speaking barely above a whisper. The crowd was still glued to us, but not so badly as before. If I had been looking carefully, I would have seen two dark figures in the corner of the bar sneering. I also would have seen a raven- haired student in glasses standing not five feet away, listening to every word we said. "I sent them many advance warnings. There was nothing else that I could have done!" Tears began to form in my eyes. "I did the best I could with my surroundings, Remus."  
  
His expression began to soften, "I never meant to make you cry, I'm sorry." He carefully reached his arm across the table to touch my hand.  
  
"No, non toccarme!" (don't touch me) I glared at him, "Non siete la mia persona favorita ora!" (You're not my favourite person right now) I jumped up from my chair and bumped right into the raven haired student. "Oh my... Harry... Just what did you hear?"  
  
The horrified look on his face showed that he had heard enough. Remus stood in front of me, just in case Harry tried to take a swing. "Harry, come with me." He grabbed Harry's shoulder. "We can continue this conversation in my office."  
  
* ** *  
  
A/N: What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah and check out my Live Journal as well! The links for both can be found on my author page.  
  
Thanks to my fabulous reviewers! I love you guys! I'm going right into another chapter after this because the plot bunnies are running on their exercise wheel at a thousand miles an hour... Should be studying, you know! Damn rabbits...  
  
Love from your Slytherin Queen,  
  
~Milah 


	20. Never in the same light

A/N: *Points wand at lawyers throat* I warned you that it wasn't mine, it's Rowling's, but you came after me anyway... I warned you Mr. Lawyer- man...  
  
With a pop, he transfigured into a more horrifying sight. "Well, Professor Merverosa... How good to see you..."  
  
"Lord Voldemort, I never thought that I'd see you again..."  
  
"I came to tell you of what peril lies ahead..." an evil glint barely visible in his eyes.  
  
"Oh, okay. Just don't let them hear." I pointed towards the small contingent of faithful readers. He whispered all sorts of goodies in my ear before disapparating, and I'm sure that you guys will love what's coming up...  
  
***  
  
*Screams with delight* I'm twenty reviews strong!!!!!! I love you guys!  
  
I'm going to guess that Kat-tak's name is Katie... Thanks for your compliments! There's no shame in being a Hufflepuff... I know quite a few good ones!  
  
Ah, and to Professor Bellar, who is a constant source of entertainment, and good ideas. Where would I be without you? Hehehehehehe.... Got some good stuff coming up guys! *Grins*  
  
~Milah  
  
* ** *  
  
"So hang on, you're telling me that you were engaged to Professor Lupin?"  
  
"Yes, Harry. I was." We had just finished telling him bits of my history.  
  
"But what does that have to do with the murder of my parents, Professor Lupin?" What started out as a decent day for Remus had quickly turned ugly.  
  
"I was a double agent for the Ministry, Harry." A little white lie couldn't hurt anyone... "I was working for both Voldemort and Fudge, trying to find a weakness with which to attack the Death Eaters."  
  
Upon seeing his face, I knew that I would not have to elaborate any further, "You were a Death Eater?!?" He turned stark-white, and he threw his round glasses to the ground. He glared at Remus, "How could you still associate with her kind?" He was furious. "What were you thinking, Professor? Did she bewitch you too?" Harry's hands flew in the air, "This woman was responsible for the murder of my parents!" He bellowed this last line with so much force that the cold stone walls in the room quaked.  
  
"Harry, calm down." Remus soothed. "You don't understand." I was surprised that he was defending me, of all people.  
  
"I understand perfectly. She's a murdering, two-faced, nutbag."  
  
"Harry! This is a Hogwarts Professor. You have no right to speak of her with such disrespect. Detention with Filch for a week!" Remus howled.  
  
"And what surprises me even more is that you stand by her. You defend her when you should leave. She's nothing but trouble... She'll only hurt you again. Just wait until Snape tries for her again, Professor! She'll probably go back to him. Their kind always stick together!" He bellowed. "I can't believe that I trusted you..." He now spoke barely above a whisper, tears evident in his eyes. "I trusted, and even liked you. To think that you were responsible-"  
  
I took his hand. "I was not responsible for the death of your family. When I discovered that plan, I sent many advanced warnings, at the possible expense of my own life. Remus loved them like family, and I loved you all as well." I knelt on the ground in front of the chair that he was slumped in. "I loved your family, Harry. I just wasn't quick enough... Please believe me..." I looked at him pleadingly, "If I was the enemy, you wouldn't be here... I was very highly trained, Harry. I use my knowledge as a former Death Eater for good. As does Severus, so please, don't speak ill of him." I stood from the ground, "Please speak of this to no one. Not Ron, not Hermione... No one, Harry. You know something of me that could destroy me, and my purpose of being at Hogwarts."  
  
"I can't look at you in the same light, and I'm sorry for that, Professor. Your secret is safe with me." He turned, rather dejectedly, and slinked out the door.  
  
I didn't know if Remus would be on speaking terms with me. He spoke politely of me in front of Harry, but was it for the sake of professionalism?  
  
"He won't hate you forever, you know."  
  
"Really?" I looked into my friend's eyes, searching for truth.  
  
"Really. It's impossible to hate you forever." He smiled weakly at me. "I may not be too pleased with you, but I don't hate you."  
  
"What brought on the sudden anger outburst, anyway?"  
  
"Sinistra told me all about your plans..."  
  
"What plans, Remus?"  
  
"That you were going to use me to help you fix your house and then go back to Snape... I know that he lives nearby."  
  
"That nasty woman. I knew that she was up to no good... She's trying to make trouble for me, Remus. I never planned to use you, and I have no intention to go back to Severus..."  
  
He had been poking through the many volumes on the shelf of his office, but turned to me, "Really now..." He crossed the room to stand rigidly in front of me. "Why didn't I see that before? I saw the way Sinistra threatened you..." He slapped his forehead. "I'm sorry that I doubted you."  
  
"Will you still come home with me?"  
  
"I don't know Milah, I just don't know."  
  
**  
  
"Professor Snape was absolutely beastly today." Howled Imogene Mystique. "I can't believe that he didn't let my insolence get to him! I spent all month thinking up those insults!" She through her hands in the air in frustration. "I can't believe that he didn't even bat an eye!"  
  
"It's alright, Imogene. Geez, you'd think that it was the end of the world..." Ron muttered. "You're so bad that you make Fred and George look like children."  
  
"But it's like he wasn't even paying attention! I charmed, 'Veritaserum: You are an ugly git!' On his plate at lunch, and he didn't even flinch. His mind is elsewhere, and I fully intend to find out what's going on..."  
  
"Can't we just enjoy the Yule Ball tonight?"  
  
"Not with a good mystery like this around..."  
  
**  
  
"Milah?"  
  
"Hullo, Hinote! How are you?" I was preparing for my big moment at the Yule Ball when she came calling.  
  
"I'm fine, but I want to talk to you about something..."  
  
"What?" I saw a wave of gravity form like a mask. "What's the matter?"  
  
"Sirius Black..." She said off-handedly  
  
"What'd he do? Is he okay?"  
  
"Oh, he's fine. He's just asked me to dinner..."  
  
"WHAT?" I cried. "HE DID WHAT?!?"  
  
"He wants to go out on a date, but you can't tell Remus... I know how close you two are. He'd just die if he knew."  
  
"Why Sirius Black? You know how mean he was to us in school!"  
  
"But he's a grown man, Milah. He's all grown up now. House differences aren't important anymore. I like him, and I wanted to know if I could borrow that maroon set of robes you have... You know, the sexy ones..."  
  
"Help yourself. I only wear black anyhow. I've got to set up, but I'll talk to you later. Make sure you lock my door on the way out."  
  
"Thanks Milah..."  
  
"Anytime, Hinote."  
  
* ** *  
  
A/N: This is an icky place to stop, but forgive me. I wanted the Yule Ball to have it's own chapter, and that's what's up next. I'm working on the next chapter now, so expect it to be posted later on in the evening. What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah and check out my Live Journals as well!  
  
(www.blurty.com/users/milah) and (www.livejournal.com/users/death_eater_M)  
  
Thanks to my fabulous reviewers! I love you guys! School is out for the summer! *skips* Yippee! No more essays to grade!  
  
Love from your Slytherin Queen,  
  
~Milah 


	21. Come Away With Me

A/N:  Remus and I are sitting in a fabulous London tea house and I was telling him of my many adventures with Lawyers and such.  "It wasn't mine.  It never was!  This is all Rowling's, but he came after me anyway..."

With a pop, a most horrifying sight apparated in front of us.  "Hiya kids!!!"  

"What the hell is that?!?"  I cried.

"I don't know, Milah."  Remus grabbed me and pulled me behind him, shielding me from the large purple atrocity that loomed before us.

"I love you...  You love me...  We're a happy-"  a childish glint visible beneath his large purple mask.

"Shut up!"  We both shouted at once.  I expertly drew my wand and hexed the thing into next year.

"Jesus Milah, what was that?"

"Muggles call it, Barney..."  I shuddered and he put a comforting arm around me.

"It's okay.  It's all over now."  He rested his chin on my head, and we stayed like that for a while, recovering from the surprise attack.  I'm sure that only Voldemort would send such a vicious attacker.  What would the muggles do if they knew that a beloved child-hood star was actually a Death Eater?

"What do we do about them?"  Remus pointed towards the small contingent of faithful readers.  

"Don't worry about them."  I winked at him.  "They follow me everywhere.  Can't sit under a tree and type without somebody walking up to me!"  

I'm sure that you guys will love what's coming up...  hee hee

***

*Screams with delight*  I'm more than twenty reviews strong!!!!!!  I love you guys!

Hinote the Great...  That's what I'll call her.  Yup!  This is quite an entertaining Slytherin; I've never known another to review so much!  She talks to me online, sends me emails full of love, wished me a happy mother's day...  *sighs*  Ah, it must be love...  *Grins*  Or it could be sheer  craziness...  We shall see, Professor.  We shall see...  *evil glint* Hee...

Well well well...  Look who's _finally_ all caught up!  *glares at Imogene* It's good to hear from you again!  And you aren't a valley girl, you goofball!

Ok, I've got this great scene in my head.  I really need your help with this one!  If it takes me two or three rewrites to get it perfect, then so be it!  Constructive criticism please!!!

~Milah

*

**

*

"Will you dance with me, Imogene?"  Ron gently held his hand out and took her soft pale body in his arms.

"Of course, Ron..."  She sighed and melted into his chiseled body.  

"You look great.  Is that dress new?"  She was wearing a two piece off the shoulder red gown with sequins forming an abstract pattern around her stomach.  A belly button ring was just visible, sparkling on her navel.

"Actually it is...  I picked it up the other day."  She briefly met his piercing gaze, but averted it when she felt a tinge of blush flush her cheeks.

** 

"You look beautiful, Ashley."  Travis stated in absolute awe.

"Thanks, Travis!  You're not so bad yourself!" 

**

"Imogene Mystique!"  A perfectly nasty voice bellowed.  "I hardly think that your attire is appropriate...  And that- that- THING is _not_ allowed here!"  He pointed at her navel ring.

"Relax, Professor Snape.  You're gonna have a stroke.  Do you need prune juice?  I thought that I saw some near the punch bowl."  She glared at him fiercely.

"Talk of that type is _not_ acceptable.  Detent-"  He seemed to suddenly recall that she looked upon detentions as though they were pleasure cruises.  "You will report to me on Monday when I've come up with a suitable punishment...  Thirty points from Gryffindor!"  He stalked towards the center of the room, and looked up when everything went silent.

The looks of surprise amused me as I stepped up to the front of the Hall.  I saw Remus fighting his way to where I was standing, clad in black-- nothing unusual about me...  "Good evening faculty, staff, and students.  Professor Dumbledore has asked me to sing the closing song to finish off our party, and I have just the ticket..." I smiled sweetly as I noticed all eyes were on me, just the way that I liked it.  The students probably didn't know that I could sing.  

Remus looked dumbfounded, "What are you doing here?"  he mouthed.    

I held my arms in position, and my guitar appeared out of nowhere.  This surprised the students, as none knew about my musical obsessions.  I disappeared into my own world as the first chord was struck, and my song began.  My voice was as smooth and as inviting as butter.  "_Come away with me in the night.  Come away with me, and I will write you a song..._"  Very few students were dancing.  Many had their eyes locked on their singing professor.  Remus stood rooted in place, his mouth wide open.  I saw Harry put a hand on his shoulder and whisper something that made him smile.  Apparently, Harry had forgiven me...  

"_Come away with me on a bus.  Come away where they can't tempt us with their lies_."  Harry grabbed Ginny, who was standing nearby, and easily glided across the floor with her.  Many people had begun to follow suit, but Severus and Remus could only blankly look at me.  

"Let's not allow Snape's comment on your fabulous appearance to ruin our evening, shall we?"  Ron gazed at Imogene in absolute awe.

"_I want to walk with you, on a cloudy day, in fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high.  
So won't you try to come._

"_Come away with me, and we'll kiss on a mountaintop.  Come away with me, and I'll never stop loving you."_  I glanced around the room to see the soporific effect that my song was having.  Remus and Severus were at the foot of the stage staring.  Just staring.  How funny it must seem for me to be sitting on a stool, playing my guitar in front of a school full of students.  What must seem stranger was the song I was singing...

"_And I want to wake up with the rain falling on a tin roof, while I'm safe there in your arms_."  I gave Remus a meaningful smile, and he finally understood that the song was for him.  He began to smile broadly.  "_So all I ask is for you to come away with me in the night...  Come away with me.._"  The last chord died away, and I heard the applause ring.  Remus jumped up on the dais, acting temporarily as a stage, and threw his arms around me.  He kissed me in front of the entire school!  The students gave hoots of approval, and all around rowdiness.  

It was a beautiful moment.  The airbourne candles cast a golden glow that made everything striking.  In that moment, neither of us were aware of anything but each other.  He held me at arm's length, and he beamed.  It wasn't the care-worn Remus that I now know, but it was a smile from perhaps his early childhood, before receiving that fatal bite.  All of the lines on his face were smoothed and pure joy emanated from his soul.   "There was something wrong with that song, Milah..."

"What, a girl can't sing a happy song?"  I kissed him again.  He hugged me tight and lifted me off the ground, swirling me in a circle.  He gently placed me down, and I was in awe that he could hold me so close to the next full moon.

"You aren't, by any stretch of the sense, ordinary."  I broke my gaze when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Well done Professor.  Well done!"  Headmaster Dumbledore shouted over the tumultuous applause.  He was clapping as well.  "I dismiss you both from your duties, as I suppose you have some packing and talking to do..."  He winked and directed his attention back to the students.  "I hoped that you all enjoyed the evening, and may you enjoy your vacation just as much.  Have a safe journey, and I'll see you all again at the start of term.  Good night."  

Students were clapping Remus on the back, and were shouting words of encouragement as we walked out with his arm wrapped around my shoulder.  My plan had worked after all...

** (Scene Change)

"Professor Bellar, I'm so glad that you decided to join me."

"It was good of you to invite me, Sirius."  Hinote carefully sat down in the ruddy pub where they would have dinner.  "Nice place you picked out here..."  She didn't hide the sarcasm in her voice.

"I knew you'd love it.  The food is great.  Try the spotted dick."  _(A/N:  It's actually a dessert over in the UK, but I figured that it'd be pretty funny to throw in here b/c it sounds like an STD...  Goes w/ the ruddiness of the place...  Shut up!  It's my pun!)_

"I'd rather not thanks.  Maybe just a drink because I'm not especially hungry."  Hinote smiled at Sirius thinking 'perhaps this won't be as fun as I expected it to be'.  By the end of the evening, they were both quite drunk.

Stumbling towards Hogwarts, Sirius said, "I 'ad fun.  Can you do it' 'gain?"

"Maybe...  Maybe no-" She hiccupped loudly.

"You're drunk..."  Sirius shouted through his laughing. 

"Shh..."  She placed her fingers to her lips. She had stopped short and was squinting to see something towards the lake.

"What the hell is- no way..."  Sirius said beaming.  "That's nutters!"  He hiccupped.  "I want some of that!"  

"Shut up, fool!"  Hinote said quietly.  "I want to get closer and see what's going on..."  She glared at him.  "If you can't act sober and be quiet, I'll make you leave."

"Yes mum."  He crisply saluted and instantly settled down to do a bit of couple watching...

* 

**

*

A/N:  Oh, was I evil...  I left you a really nice cliffhanger!  I suppose that you'll just have to wait and find out what happens, now won't we!  *slytherin glare*  Crucial chapters, these are...  What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah and check out my Live Journals as well!

 (**www.blurty.com/users/milah**) and (**www.livejournal.com/users/death_eater_M**)

Thanks to my fabulous reviewers!  I love you guys!  

I must credit Norah Jones for her incredibly romantic song, "Come Away With Me".  It really was an inspiration for this chapter.

Happy Mother's Day, Ya'll!!

Love from your Slytherin Queen,

~Milah


	22. Thank you for caring

~***An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor*****~******

**By: Milah Luciana Merverosa**

(A/N:) I feel an inherent guilt upon my heart that I haven't updated in ages. My eyes well up with tears at the thought of my fans sitting white-knuckled at their computers waiting for a new chapter to be posted, so here it is folks! Professor Milah Luciana Merverosa is posting a new chapter for An Auror, a Death Eater, and a Professor!  She owns nothing but her character and the plot, everything else goes to Rowling the Magnificent.  
**  
It's early evening as I sit at my computer, rocking out to "Hungry Like the Wolf", by Duran Duran (I'm showing my age because I remember when that song topped the charts!), when I feel a warm presence behind me. Upon turning my head to see who stands near me, I feel warm breath upon my neck. Someone rests their chin there and gently whispers into my ear, "What the _hell_ are you listening to?"   
  


"Remus!" His stubble tickles my neck, and I laugh.  Continuing to sing along to my favorite song, "_I'm on the hunt I'm after you. Mouth is alive with juices like wine, and I'm hungry like the wolfffff_." I see that he's watching me bob my head to the insanely cheesy music. I grin at the supreme irritation that Remus is displaying.   
  


"I can't believe that you're _listening_ to this _garbage_!" His sweet face was contorted with aggravation, "They glorify the life that I have to live with every day."  
  


"Oh _lighten_ up!" I poked him on the side as I rose to get dressed in my robes. "I've got to work for a bit, so you're going to sit around here and do..."  I was thinking.  "nothing!  Just do nothing...  Oh, I found a website on this computer thing that has a butt load of games. I left the window open for you, so you can play around for a bit, okay?"  I gazed at him intently, seeing what he would say.

He stared at me blankly, then walking towards the window of my house "What?  On that?!?"  He pointed at the window where I had just been sitting.  

"No, on _that_." I pointed to the gray box next to the window.  "It'll keep you amused for hours, I promise."  He lunged across the room, grabbed me from behind while making snarling noises, and pretended to rip my neck open.  "You're funny for an old fool, you know!"  I said through all the laughing.  "I've got to _go_, Remus!"  

"Can't you just apparate?"  He whined.

"'fraid not...  The muggles might get suspicious."

"You work in a pub!  Half of the people you work with would be too inebriated to notice if a rhinoceros ran through the wall!"

I was just about to exit the house, but turned around sharply.  "Can you transfigure something to turn into a rhino?  That would be pretty interesting, now that I think about it..."  I heard his laughter from all the way down the driveway.  Hell, neither one of us may be professors anymore, but we were still _very_ happy...

  
Kind regards,  
~Milah Luciana Merverosa  
  


**Chapter twenty two**

The moon was intense, and it was the closest to a full moon that we could ever spend walking together.  He looked tired and sick, but very very happy.  He moved his arm, which had been wrapped around my shoulders down to take my right hand.  I hadn't held his hand in more than sixteen years, and had forgotten just how right it felt.  Like he would protect me from the end of time, if he needed to.

He slowly picked my hand up to his lips and kissed it.  "I've missed nights like these, you know."  He stopped walking and faced me.  Taking a stray black tendril and moving it from my face he said, "You shouldn't cover your head, silly girl.  It keeps people from seeing your beautiful face..."

"Oh, if only..."  I gave him a sweet smile.  "I think the muggles have aged it quite a bit."  A quick laugh escaped me, but was quickly extinguished by his mouth.  I shut my eyes, afraid that I would wake and find it all to be a dream.  Sheer ecstasy was coursing through my veins as I wrapped my arms around his neck.  His strong arms were already wrapped around my waist.  The closeness of him was intoxicating, and I couldn't be counted upon to string two intelligent sentences together, even if I had to.  He pulled away, and we rested nose to nose, laughing in the freezing cold.

"You sang beautifully tonight, Milah."  We resumed walking arm in arm along the lake.

"Thank you, sir."  I said casually, dismissing the compliment with a wave of my hand.  

"Would you have expected any less of me?"

He feigned a hurt expression, "No, of course not!"  Suddenly stopping, he whirled towards the dark forest.  "Shh!"  He extended his left hand to stop me from moving, and drew his wand with his right.  I followed suit and drew my own as well.  "Lumos."  We both stated, causing our wands to light up the area around us.  I now heard the movements that his animalistic senses had immediately detected.  There was a rustling in the shadows of the trees ahead.

We inched forward until we were relatively near the sounds of movement when something sprang at Remus with such a force that it knocked him over.  It all seemed to happen so quickly.  Remus fell into the snow with a sickening thud, I heard a bone snap, he let a yelp escape his lips as his head hit something solid.  Then my Remus made neither movement nor sound.  I only heard the snarls; never took a good look at the creature that was attacking him.  

"Petrificus Totalus!  Stupefy!"  I cried, and the black thing lay as still as death with its four legs bound together.  "Remus!  Are you alright?"  I threw myself into the snow, and he certainly didn't look good.  His nose appeared to be broken, and from the look of it, if he hadn't landed in two feet of snow, his arms would have been too.  Back up on my feet instantly, I began to actively search out any more creatures.  Finding none, I bent over my good friend, "Remus?  Remus!  Wake up!"  I shook his shoulders, but received nothing but slack.  He wasn't dead; he couldn't be...  "Mobili Corpus!"  I rose both the creature and Remus out of the snow.  We made the journey back to Hogwarts, which in my eyes, couldn't have looked safer.

It was difficult to sprint through the snow being wet and dragging two bodies alongside me, but somehow I managed.  Swinging the doors open, I broke into a great run, nearly slipping on the slick floors quite a few times.  I hadn't stopped, despite the cries of surprised students, until I reached the hospital wing, three floors up!  Exhausted, I slammed my weight into the doors, and it all seemed to be in slow motion from there.    

The snarling creature began to writhe, trying to break the full body bind that I had cast upon him; the stunning charm had worn off.  "Poppy!  Get in here!"  I cried, levitating Remus to a bed.  The older medi-witch ran to the bed, but stopped short as she saw the snarling, biting, black creature.  

"What in Merlin's beard is _that?_"  Her eyes opened wide with fear as her lips turned downwards in a frown.

"I don't know, but I need you to find out what's wrong with him, so I can go to Dumbledore and see what this is."  I pointed my wand at the creature again.  "Imperio!"  It stopped moving instantly.  "Get up."  It did.  "Walk by my side, not straying one inch, or I swear, I'll kill you!"  Silently, the four legged creature, which resembled a great black leopard, padded silently alongside me.  

Thankfully, the door to Dumbledore's office was open, and I brought the beast in.  He had been sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair, relaxing after such an fun-filled night.  His eyes slowly opened and found their way to me, and the beast that I had in tow.  A sudden glimmer of fear passed through him as he took in the blood and slush on my robes.

"Where did you get _that_, Milah?"  He jumped up from his desk, and ran over to me, wand drawn.  

"It attacked Remus, outside the castle.  Do you know what it is?"

He never took his eyes off the creature.  "It's a Nundu.  I must send an owl immediately to both the Ministry and to Charlie Weasley, who'll know exactly where to put it."  He transfigured a magnificent cage around the Nundu and cast a powerful sleeping spell upon it.  My curiosity got the better of me, and I attempted to ask what a Nundu was.  "Please, Ms. Merverosa, it's an intensely dangerous animal.  I must write to the ministry..."  He turned back to an already half scrawled note to Charlie Weasley, and I knew that he would say no more to me on the matter.  

I ran to Remus' chambers to fetch some fresh clothes for him, but I also knew that he would have books on all sorts of dark creatures.  He had, after all, been the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher.  Tearing through his immense collection of books took some time.  I found books solely on the Manticore, several on Werewolves, some on Red Caps, grindylows, Occamys, and Nogtails.  He had practically every creature that existed on the face of the magical earth, and yet I couldn't find something on a "Nundu".  

I gave up, and began digging through his armoire. I pulled some trousers, a shirt, undergarments, and robes to throw over it all.  I seriously doubted that he would be released tomorrow, but who knows with Poppy.  '_She's skilled enough to fix him up tonight...' _I thought to myself.  While plopping the small stack of clothes on the desk to fold them, I felt something hit my foot.  Two books had fallen to the floor.  One was simple and leather bound; it looked like an ordinary muggle journal.  The other was exactly what I had been looking for, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.  I picked them both up, sat in his armchair and perused the alphabetically ordered creatures.  Fingering the delicate pages, I finally found the entry I looked for:

_Nundu_

_M.O.M. Classification: XXXXX_

_This east African beast is arguably the most dangerous in the world.  A gigantic leopard that moves silently despite its size... It has never yet been subdued by fewer than a hundred skilled wizards working together._

"Why would one be lurking in the Dark Forest?"  I asked myself as I put down that book and picked up the unmarked one.  Obviously very old, I flipped through its pages quickly.  It was all in Remus' handwriting; this was his journal!  I dropped it as if its pages had been scorching.  "I can't read this...  It's his private thoughts..."  As if on cue, the book that had fallen onto my lap fell open to a page that read,"I wish that she could understand me, how I still feel for her everyday...  It rips me to pieces to see her with that thing, but she's an adult.  I have to simply be waiting around for when he hurts her; I know that he will.  I just hope that I can put her back together when he's done with her..." It was practically an invitation to read...  I flipped to the night that I returned to Hogwarts as a teacher, and it said, _"She's back.  I can't believe it!  All these years that I thought she was gone, murdered perhaps...  I never should have doubted her; I knew she wouldn't let Voldemort get the better of her!  I've got the chance for a family after all!  God, I still love her so much.  I often take out the wedding band she gave me; hell, I wore the thing for four years..._"

_"_I can't read anymore."  I put the books back on his desk, folded his robes into a neat stack, and proceeded to walk to the hospital wing.  Now I knew what a Nundu was, but I had no idea why it had attacked Remus.  More importantly, how had I been able to subdue it alone, when 100 wizards couldn't do it.  Something more than we knew, was going on in the Forbidden Forest...__

"How is he?"  I asked as I stood over his unmoving figure.  The medi-witch was pouring over him, her face taut with worry and concentration.  

"As you can see, Professor, he has multiple scratches, and some deep abrasions over his chest cavity."  Remus was virtually naked, only his boxer shorts remained on him still.  My eyes roved over his form.  He was so thin!  I never remember him being so lean, but then again, when we lived together, he ate my cooking.  Always loved my dinner, that one...  "If you could assist me in cleaning him up, we may be able to have him out of the wing tomorrow..."  She looked at me intently, "_If_" she stressed that singular word, "someone is around to take care of him."  

I knew what she was getting at.  She was only going to let him out of the hospital wing for the holidays if he was put in my charge.  Poppy knew that I was an accomplished healer, and would be more than a match for any problems that could arise from him.  "I'll just have to take him home with me."  She nodded and together, we worked on the injured werewolf.

After healing the most serious of scratches and patching his broken bones (his nose and four ribs), I went to his chambers to pack for his home coming.  Little did he know, he would spend the entire holiday with me.  I know that he was quite angry with me, and decided that he would stay at the castle, but I'm sure that he'll quickly get over it.  I sent both our trunks down to the kitchens for the house elves to move, and proceeded to the hospital wing to pick up Remus.

I quietly walked in, as it was still relatively early.  Madame Pomfrey had opened the windows and birds could be heard chirping throughout the wing.  '_The sunlight and fresh air will do him some good.'_  I thought as I stopped at his weak frame.  He was very pale indeed, and it was odd to know that in twelve hours, he would be something other than an ailing human.  Which reminded me, I had to continue to call on Severus for the wolfsbane potion.  

Concern flashed upon my face as I ran my fingers through his tousled hair.  He stirred very slightly.  Trailing my fingers down his body caused him to shiver, much as it always had, and he smiled.  I was quite obviously waking him up.  We would have to leave now in order to make it home in time for his transformation.  He was in no state to apparate, so we would go by carriage.   

My three left fingers were making their journey back up his leg when they were caught by his hand.  Remus was watching me intently, "You saved me last night, you know?"

"As you would have done for me.  I'm going to help you dress; we have a long journey before us."  I sat his soft pile of freshly laundered robes onto the bed next to him.  "You're so thin that a few weeks of real food might do you some good.  Fatten you up a bit, if I may..."  A sly smile curled on my lips as I helped his weak form sit on the edge the bed.

"Where am I going?"  Worry flashed across his sickly face.  He let out a yelp as I accidentally touched one of the broken ribs.

"_We_, Mr. Lupin, are going home."  I smiled warmly. "Poppy has left you in my charge so that you can recover.  You gave us quite a scare last night."  I threw back the cover on my head to display the concerned expression as well as the dark circles under my eyes.

"Home?  You mean your home?  I said that I was staying at Hogwarts..."  He sat on the edge of the bed and allowed me to button his woolen shirt.  

Stopping to look at him, I gazed deeply into his pale yellow eyes to let my gravity sink in, "You know full well that you don't want to stay in this old castle.  I'd be more than happy for you to stay with me...  Poppy won't let you out of the wing without me."  I raised my eyebrows and allowed a cruel smile to form.

"But what about my work?  I have _loads_ to do!"  

"Liar."  I stated tersely, as I slipped his trousers up his legs, carefully avoiding the nasty gouges that were ever-present.  "Even if you have work to do, it will still be here when you get back..."  He slung his arm over my shoulders to stand and finish getting dressed.  "For the next three weeks, you belong to _me_.  You will do absolutely no work, and will relax.  Besides, I think that a little time together could do us some good..." My voice trailed off as I slipped one of my warmest black cloaks over his shoulders because his tattered ones would do no good in the cold.  

He lifted my chin with his right hand and said, "Thank you."  Tears welled up in his eyes.  "Thank you for caring enough to bring me with you...  I –"  

"Yes?"  My fingers fumbled with the fasteners on the cloak.

"Nothing..."  He answered, perhaps a little too quickly.

I may have been aging, but I wasn't stupid...  "You're quite welcome, Remus.  I dare say that you would be a welcome addition to my gloomy, possibly not standing, house.  I'm almost afraid of what state that we'll find it in, but together, we can do anything."  I shot Remus a purposeful smile.   

"Yes, together..."  He repeated, still smiling at me.  "That's nice.  Together is always nice..."  He loomed in, unmistakably to kiss me, but before he could, someone cleared their throat.

"_So sorry to disturb you, Professors..."  He drawled in a rather annoying tone.  "I thought that you might want this potion before you depart."  Severus said with a rather cruel sneer, swirling the contents of a smoking goblet in his hand.  He was angry to have caught us sharing a rather intimate moment.  Poppy stood next to him wearing the brightest smile that a person could possibly wear.  She obviously was not opposed to us getting back together.  It would fuel some of the best gossip that Hogwarts has had in ages!_

"Why yes, thank you Severus."  Remus stated in an overly saccharine tone.  He was thoroughly enjoying the position that Severus was in.  "You should visit us on Christmas morning.  We'd certainly love to have you."  He said with a weak sneer.

"That we would."  I added in with a genuine smile.  Walking over to him and taking the goblet, I gave him a quick hug.  "You're more than welcome to have dinner with us whenever you like."

"I suppose that it would be good to make sure the wolf hasn't chewed you to bits, now wouldn't it."  He spat back with a sneer.  "Wouldn't want anything to happen to our favourite Charms Professor, now would we?"

"Whatever it takes to get you out of your home during the break, and into mine."  I put a comforting hand on his shoulder.  Spinning around to walk the steaming goblet to Remus before it cooled, I saw an inherent scowl on his face.  The idea of spending any time with Severus in my house disturbed him terribly.

*** * 

(A/N:) What do you think? I'll never know if you don't review... Check out a picture of Milah on the link at my author page. If you have any ideas, please let me know... I know where I have set for things to go, but I can incorporate anyone else's ideas (I'll credit you, of course) in too! Later babe!

Review thank you's must be given to:  Imogene Mystique, Hinote, and Chibi Chingo.  Without you, there would be no story!  *kisses monitor*   I love you guys!  Oh, and Chibi, I'm glad that you like being written about.  All three of you are characters in my story...  How very _interesting..._  *gazes innocently to the side*  Well kids, mummy has a date to get ready for!  *skips*  Amore!  

  
~Milah


End file.
